Monday, 20 December 2010
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I Have Really Bad Dating Anxiety
In general, I'm very calm, don't really fight.I don't really get anxious about tests, or other things like interviews--a little sometimes, but not much.
But for some reason, I have this horrible issue with dating anxiety. I hate it.
Once I'm in a relationship with someone it, for the most part, goes away. It's the waiting game in the middle though, or whenever I feel like I could have done something or said something wrong.
I feel absolutely nuts, honestly. I'm realized that it's worse though, when I really really like someone.
I hate cat and mouse games.
Am I alone here? Does anyone else get extreme anxiety when dating, or thinking about how the other person feels about you?
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- From: thinkpinkpanther@xanga
- Name: Kaybird
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Comments (33)
Oh totally dude! I freaking HATE the cat and mouse game
. I freak out and get bad anxiety when really hot guys come up and just talk to me. I end up getting dizzy and just run away 
. When ever I do talk to some hot guy it takes me like freaking 20 minutes to respond because I don't want to say anything stupid, but in the end I do. I'm trying really hard to work on it and it's hard! For some reason I can't get out of my "comfort zone".
For the most part, no. But I do recall having a really bad dating anxiety when I was 13 years old with my best friend who I had a super, super, super, duper crush on (he's now my husband, btw).
I couldn't be myself. I would worried about what he thought. I didn't know how to act or what to say. It was a bummer. If you asked me then, I would say I didn't know what to do or how to fix it. But now, I would say slowly come out of your shell. Just let it go and go with the flow. Don't expect too much or too little. Life eventually fall into place at the right time.
In new relationships, like the one I'm in now, I get anxiety about falling "too fast", or being more into it than he is. It's just a fear of mine.. but for me, it's nothing a little communication can't fix (:
i've had this problem before.
Yerp. Never going to change at all. Ever. It kinda sucks..
It's normal I think! I get extremely neurotic, nervous, paranoid, and anxious when I am in that in-between stage, after meeting someone and working towards dating them. I think it's normal. It's kinda like an advanced version of butterflies in the stomach, haha. At least it's comforting to know that when it works out and you are in a relationship, that feeling isn't there anymore :)
Don't we all have this kind of anxiety at one point? It's not uncommon. I think it's best not to be caught in it and go by each moment by moment without truly worrying about it.
I have the same thing. I think I convinced the last guy I was interested in that I am a total nutcase, when really I'm not.
I have it too.
I still get anxiety in my current relationship and it's been two years haha. I think almost everyone gets anxiety over relationships. I never was anxious over relationships until this one and I think it's just because of how much I care about him. I tend to overanalyze everything he does and I'm always afraid I'm going to say something that will scare him away, but I'm pretty sure if it hasn't happened in the last two years it's not going to happen anytime soon :p
Man--I can't tell you how much of a relief it is too see this. I feel...normal.
lol.@EccentricSiren@xanga - & I feel/do the same thing. It's horrible isn't it?
I'm usually nervous around people whom I care about their impression of me, so I'm careful of what I do/say, because I want the person to like me. I'm still me, just the anxiety attack version of me.
*raises hand*
@EccentricSiren@xanga - well if you're a nutcase, you're not going to actually know it, are you? :p
"it's nothing a little communication can't fix (: "
@kinseydanielle@xanga - i agree 100%
I have it too, ugh.
I totally fucking hate grey areas. I'm happy making it official and saving a headache.
OMG i could totally relate .. i just want to settle .. hate the dangerous game too
Yes and no. It really depends on the situation. I try to go with the flow though, for the most part, and let things happen as they happen. I know it's easier said than done for some people, though.
Every body may feel the same. However, The problem is when you can not overcome it. Thy to be not overpassed. Control your nervous system, and talk to more people every often possible. Like yourself. Give more love to others everything will turn in the original position. http://bit.ly/h7HMxN
Yeah, it's always nerve wracking when you're on the spot being the center of attention, but unless the guy is a self centered jerk, I'm sure he's nervous too. Just be yourself and be honest. No games. :)
I'm a bit of a hypocrite when I say this because I get anxious too, especially when I'm not getting the signals I'd like from an interested party, but there is no need/rational reason to be anxious about being yourself. If your prospective partner doesn't like who you are, you're better off breaking off with 'em, and finding someone else. Nature aids you some of the time, because your lustful body chemistry makes you like things they like, and vice versa, even if you don't normally have these interests. I don't believe in sacrificing who I am for a relationship, because that's a sure sign I'm getting desperate
. I try to let nature take its course.
I'm in this situation right now.
I love it .
But I have anxiety about it too because it's just uncertain how he feels about me ..
Have I made stupid mistakes or am I look weird？
Just can't control the worry ....