Friday, 17 December 2010
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An Open Letter to "Nice Guys"
Sure, the other guy may be a total jerk and would be better off with you but I think that you are hanging onto this point by the very last strand. I think you are forgetting the fact that you can't explain emotions rationally or logically. She could have went with that other guy for numerous reasons. She could have found him to be less boring than you (no offense).Have you ever found yourself in one of those common conversations where one of your guy friends complains about never having a girlfriend/boyfriend? The one where you just can't get out of their "Why does nobody ever want the nice guy, wahhhh my life sucks" grasp. While only half listening you wonder whats for lunch or when that new Johnny Depp movie is coming out.
Oh, the horror, right? I'm getting pretty sick of it too. Don't get me wrong, I adore helping out my friends when they need me, but this old topic is..well....getting pretty old.To the nice guys who just can't seem to get a date,
I can't explain why that girl did not choose you over the other guy.
Girls like guys that have something interesting about them, something that makes you stand out among the crowd. Being a typical "nice guy" is not enough. She could have also found that she has more in common with that other guy. Compatibility is really important when it comes to relationships. Sure, you both can have your own thing or show them things you like to do but if you have nothing in common then its going to get boring relatively quickly.Let's face the facts here now, I know most of you (not all) "nice guys" just want anybody to like you or be interested in you. It never seems like you just want a specific person. To me, that's you just being very desperate. Just wanting anybody to be into you and not just once person you have your eye on is not a commendable start to any relationship. This also means you are not ready for a relationship in the first place because your heart is easily swayed in one direction or another.
I get it, you want to find love. That one special person who will lock pinkies while walking down the street and to tell you that you're a great singer while secretly thinking you sound horrible (I know thats a lie but come on, we all do it just to make them feel better). I know what you need, "nice guy" but you just have to wait like the rest of us.
I believe the great Diana Ross said it best when she sang "My mama said you can't hurry love. No, you'll just have to wait. She said love don't come easy, it's a game of give and take". You see, to find true love you can't look around every street corner. You have to be patient and the ones who pass by are not worth your time thinking about anyway.
To be in a relationship takes a certain kind of mindset. Be confident in what you have to offer and no more complaining okay? So what you have no found 'the one" yet, she/he will come. Patience is a virtue when it comes to the love game.Sincerely ,
Trisha
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Comments (84)
Love this. I know a few guys who should read this.
I completely agree with you.
I've had so many guys pull this shit with me, acting like I just wouldn't date them because they were too nice. The problem is, I LIKE nice guys.But guys who feel like someone is OBLIGATED to respond to pathetic pleas of "give me a chance!!!"???That's not nice. That's really rude actually.
I'm now dating a guy who I feel like is the nicest most respectful guy in the world, and I'm madly in love with him and want to marry him.
I've found that a lot of nice guys actually fall into the lacking self-esteem / boring category.
My guy is confident but not cocky, interested in all sorts of things, expresses an interest in things that I like, is nice and respectful to everyone he knows including me, etc.
Being GENUINELY nice will ensure that you don't finish last. Being sad and desperate and pathetic and boring won't make up for the fact that you're not an asshole, because those are bad qualities too.
"Lets face the facts here now, I know most of you (not all) "nice
guys" just want anybody to like you or be interested in you. It never
seems like you just want a specific person. To me, thats you just being very desperate.
Just wanting anybody to be into you and not just once person you have
your eye on is not a commendable start to any relationship. This also
means you are not ready for a relationship in the first place because
your heart is easily swayed in one direction or another."
So true! This was a really great post! I'm gunna pass it along to some "nice guys" that I know to read.
yes.
Yay, Trisha! You got it posted! Once again, I love what you wrote!!! =)
They had a very odd way of editing this, too many paragraphs datingish!! Haha.
@himynameisTARYN@xanga - Awesome! Thank you :)
@Babieboo_Annie@xanga - Thank you!!!! :D
@UnconventionalButterfly@xanga - Lol. yeah..and I liked your "original" title better..hahaha :P
YES. You said it. True story. Thanks.
Interesting post.
Also, some nice guys actually end up being @$$es, and still complain about not getting gf's.
Actions speak louder than words. Walk the walk, fellas.
@UnconventionalButterfly@xanga - goodjob girl
You're right... This topic is getting old. Very, very old. Datingish could almost start a weekly section on the "Nice Guy/Girl". And I'd vomit every time I saw it.
Personal appeal to Datingish- Please stop posting these. I'd rather eat out Satan's rancid sphincter than read another "Nice Guy/Girl" post.
Agreed. I am currently with a "nice guy", but if he had come along at any point before he did, I never would have even considered dating him. He had to come at the right time, meaning mostly: after all the jerks, cheaters, and liars. In my opinion, some girls won't appreciate the nice guy until they have seen the ugly side of how guys can be. Then they know how lucky they are! It's all about time.
sounds about rite
@mcmeister89@mancouch - If you don't want to read it, nobody is making you. Should I escort you to the handy little red x button?
@SuperEvilPopTart64@xanga - Oh don't worry. I didn't read all of it, only as much as I could stand. Found that X button just fine. Thought I'd let Datingish know they should up their game a little bit before I left.
I used to be a nice guy, but then I discovered Jager.
great post! personally however, i would date a "nice guy" rather than a total jerk.
if the guy whines about being a nice guy while talking badly about women, then that will automatically put him in the friendzone. some of these nice guys are just as superficial as the assholes if they fawn over the hot girl. why don't they just go after the other nice girls, who are overlooked and both whine together lol they have that in common
I don't want a nice guy or asshole. I want a charismatic cute guy.
@mcmeister89@mancouch - I've yet to see a "nice girl" post.
My current mate is an ass most of the time, but we have amazing conversations and are on the same page about a lot of stuff. Most people think we're a match made in hell and wonder why we stay together. We fight constantly. My mother swears he's the devil, and his grandmother just glares at me whenever she sees me. And we rock each other's socks.
Chemistry is chemistry.
Girls like men with confidence. If half the "nice guys" I know would just grow a freaking backbone, they'd probably have girlfriends. Assholes, on the other hand, have no shortage of confidence.
And I know from experience that any guy who has to tell you repeatedly what a nice person he is is probably, in all actuality, a douchebag.
Mmmmmm.... assertive-ness is usually what's lacking from a nice guy, not the fact that they are boring or uninteresting. Of course, not to say that all nice guys are interesting and so much more appealing. But, a well written post indeed.
@mcmeister89@mancouch - I quite agree.
Very well said!