Tuesday, 14 December 2010
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7 Signs He's Using You for Sex
Credit: LOLZombie
Women think about a variety of things; traveling, shopping, recreation, love, etc. But men, they just think about, well, sex.I'm not saying every guy thinks about sex, but I've encountered a lot of douche-bags who wanted nothing more than a one-night stand. Or two. Or three ...
As a woman, there have been guys that I was simply DTF (down to f***) with, but I didn't mess with their minds. If all I wanted was a good hook-up, I'd tell them right from the start. That way, I avoided all potential heartbreaks and commitments that were not necessary. But men, no, they like to play stupid mind games. They like to actually pretend that they are really into you, when in reality they're just into your vagina.
So, how do you know the guy you're seeing just wants sex? There are simply little hints that are thrown out there, and you've got to devote every ounce of your attention to their words and actions.
He wants to take you home on a first date. That's obvious. If you go home with him, you're asking to be used.
He asks you if you're a virgin/how many guys you've slept with. His interest in your sex life is not because he cares about you, it's because he wants to know if you're experienced in the bedroom.
The texting turns into "sexting." After the "I really want a kiss right now," comes the "I really want you here in bed with me," followed by "I want you so fucking bad baby!"
He asks for sex/a blowjob/a handjob too soon in your relationship. Don't give him what he wants so soon, sweetie. Make sure he's worth it.
He tells you he likes you, but doesn't actually act like it. Actions speak louder than words. Duh.
He calls you names like "sexy" or "hottie" instead of names like "cutie" or "beautiful". Once in a while is fine, but make sure you listen for the sincere baby names.
He compliments on your physical features instead of your other wonderful traits. Loving your looks is okay, but he also needs to love your intelligence, talents, sense of humor, and personality.
These are just a few little ways to tell if that guy that really intrigues you likes you for who you are, or you for what your pants keep inside of them.
Have you ever been used by a guy?
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- From: MissHollyAnne@xanga
- Name: Miss Holly Anne
- About Me: I'm Miss "Oh my God, that Holly's shameless!"
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Comments (90)
Well I went home with my boyfriend the first date. We ate brats with his roommate, watched the Land Before Time and cuddled, does that count? hahaha.
But no, it's usually fairly obvious when someone only wants sex.
some of these are a little unfair. my relationship of a year (practically fiance) started as a fwb setup.
and he comments on my physical features all the time...who cares? obviously he's in it for other reasons if he's stuck around this lon.
I'm going to have to disagree with everything you've said here.
I'm not too keen on your list of signs, but I do dislike people who pretend to be interested in a relationship even though they only want sex. It's always better to be straight up about what you really want.
Okay, not to get all nitpicky and spoil the fun, but seriously??
"Women think about a variety of things; traveling, shopping, recreation, love, etc. But men, they just think about, well, sex. "
I am sorry if you've been with some doucebags, but the gender
stereotypes on both sides there are sort of troubling. Women think
about sex too -- and other things, like quantum physics, job
interviews, and glass-blowing. Same as men.
I also disagree that mind games are a gendered phenomenon.
"He wants to take you home on a first date.That's obvious. If you go home with him, you're asking to be used."
"He asks for sex/a blowjob/a handjob too soon in your relationship. Don't give him what he wants so soon, sweetie. Make sure he's worth it."
What if you WANT to have sex/give him a blowjob/hand job "too soon"?
What counts as "too soon" anyway? Have sex with someone because you
want to, not because you are charged with being some sort of
relationship gatekeeper.
Look, yes, using people for sex when they think you're in it for the relationship is bad. But there there is a much easier way to tell if someone is actually interested in you: Do you spend non-bedroom time together? Do you do the sort of get-to-know-you things that people do when they start dating? Do you, um, actually get along and have things to talk about? You can blow him on the first date and still have a fantastic conversation about Mandelbrot sets or the 7 o'Clock News or whatever it is you like to talk about. Or you can not blow him on the first date and still have that conversation. Whatever floats your boat.
More importantly, did you ASK if they were looking for something serious? If they don't specifically tell you that they are looking for a serious relationship, it's not fair of you to assume it.
And again, I'm really bothered by the gender skewing. Men and women are both people. Both groups do nasty things. Both groups do wonderful things. Some women think about life and love and sex, and some men think about life and love and sex.
lolzombie forgot to add a disclaimer that there are exceptions because some people are going to say, oh no, not me!
I don't think it is using someone if the flirting is mutual. I don't like how some people pretend to play naive.
ugh. i hate guys who play mind games. but what if he doesnt call u any of that? what if he calls u by ur name? or what about sweety? i once had a guy who always greet me with a "hey u". lol.
Not all guys play mind games. If anything, girls play more games then guys, and don't tell me I'm wrong. Seriously? Girls are the first ones to say I'm fine when they're pissed, or say something along the lines of, "I need to tell you something. Oh, never mind," without thinking of how fucked up their guys get over thinking about it.
I'm generalizing for a reason: we've all done this before. But all that bull skeezy on men only thinking about sex is idiotic, and the original poster of this needs a backhand. It's not all black and white.
once. it was very short. and he DID do most of those things. which is what made me wary. surprisingly, he broke it off. i probably was making him feel bad about it by continually saying no and that i wasn't a whore. not to mention he obviously wasn't into working for it. haven't made that mistake again, and don't intend to.
yes, i'm tired of being objectified.
You know the real jerks are the ones that "act nice". I'm a very straight-forward person and I tell it like it is. I'm brutally honest and in your face type.. so it bothers me when guys beat around the bushes to ask for sex or when they act all goody goody, even though they're asssholeeess!
ex) "Hey what you doing?" "Wana chill?"
PERSONAL PREFERENCE: Let's fuck or I wanna fuck you.
8. He glances at your boobs just as much as your face. He needs to be looking at your face/eyes more than your body, if at your body at all.
Hmm...what if he sticks around for years? I think the guy I was with was just confused. Guys have feelings too...
@ForeverLove_xx@xanga - I agree
I don't think I can agree with this post entirely. It bugs me.
yump. u live and learn and make sure not to do it again.
1. Just because he wants to take you home doesn't mean he wants to automatically get into your pants. He can do it just because he wants to make sure you get home safely. There are such things as "gentlemen" in this world.
I disagree with this post completely.
well if this is true my bf actually really likes me, and not just for sex, yay.
These men are like donkeys. both asses
@individually_surveys@xanga - Do say.
@springg11@xanga - That is so true about the "let's chill" connotation. I learned that the hard way in 8th grade (no pun intended).
Women can be more upfront about just wanting sex because they can usually get it by doing so. Men, not so often, unless they are in a hooker bar. So they have to be mroe manipulative about it. That's how the world has always worked, or at least since Eve's apple.
For everyone who accused this blogger of stereotyping, please read it a little closer. She made a point to say that these are a subgroup of men, the douchebaggers. And such men tend to assume certain traits, such as the ones listed above. Not all men are like this, and mine (there's only one) certainly is not. But have I encountered quite a few who are? For shizzle.
@astudyinemerald@xanga - AGREED. Well said!