I say that we have no idea what it's like to be somebody else, and unless they are beating their children or something along those lines, we should stay out of it. We can make judgements on people, as long as we realize that we don't really understand where they are coming from or what their life is like.

The only thing I take issue with here is the idea that once you become a parent, you're never allowed to go out to the bar or something.  That's flat out ridiculous.  Maybe I'm biased because I became a parent very young but IMO, you don't become someone completely different just because you becomea parent - you're still YOU, you know?  Yeah, your life changes dramatically, but that doesn't mean you can never have any 'adult' fun!  I don't go out nearly as often as many people my age, I'd say maybe once or twice a month, and I think I would lose my sanity if I didn't have time to go out and just be me rather than being "mom", you know?  Some people are born to be parents and that makes them happier than anything else in the world 24/7.  That's fine and dandy for them, but as much as I completely adore my daughter, quite frankly I would lose my shit if I never got a break from her. 

That said, I would never drop her off with someone if she was sick.  When she's sick, she wants Mommy and I'm not going to deprive her of my attention & care just because someone is having a party.  While I'm a big advocate of not losing yourself after kids come, I'm also very much for putting the kids first, especially in situations like this where one is sick.

okay dramaqueen! sounds to me like you're sticking your nose where it doesn't belong. its alllll hearsay. it was their relationship, not youuuuurs.

It depends on if she does this all the time. I would start to resent the fuck out of my mother if she did that all the time. I can't name one person I know who had that happen to them that doesn't want to slap the shit out of their mother after being clearly neglected like that. It's fine to go out and have fun sometimes but I don't think some people have taken into account the fact that the guy she went to see is a drug dealer. How many times have we heard of the trashy bitch mother that has a shitty drug dealing boyfriend that beats the shit out of the kid. I can't even count how many times that story comes up. I know parents don't want to be judged and all but you just brought a human being into this world. If you fuck up, who knows what they're going to turn out be. It's usually never someone productive and mentally sound, Ill tell you that. Fuck up a few times, fine, we are human. Fuck up so many times we might as well wonder how the hell you're still alive? Not so cool.

But given the only details that this post provided I can only say that she should have at least had a babysitter present. Leaving the kid alone while you're out drinking(assuming the kid was under 12)was stupid. And of course cheating on her friend wasn't exactly good.

And as for the friend butting in? If children are involved, I'm sorry, but there is no such thing as "butting in" when it comes to that. Maybe the cheating because it truly isn't her business and it's something the guy can deal with on his own. But when it comes to children, with as many cases of abuse there are, privacy in regards to how you chose to take care of your children cannot exist as much anymore. This isn't the 1950's where you suspect someone is mistreating there child and you sweep it under the rug. I mean you also can't report everything to Social Services because you might have made a mistake. But people have every right to question a parents way of doing things these days. If you don't like it, don't have a kid. Thank all the assholes the fucked up millions of children over the years, not the people that is trying to look out for them.

@SpOnTaNeOuS_sPiTbAlL@xanga - My thoughts exactly!

@Gorrific@xanga - agreed

I totally know where you're coming from because one of my cousins is basically doing the same thing.  Yes, it pisses me off because this is my niece we're talking about but at the same time it's not my business and it's extremely judgmental to shit on parenting skills because they want to go out and have some fun.

Granted, there are better ways to go about having fun as an adult than leaving your kid at home and going out drinking with random people, but I still understand the need to just leave it all behind once in a while.  If you were a single mother, do you think you'd be able to take care of your kids everyday?

I also don't think that the drug dealing friend is too big a deal.  It all depends on what kind of people they are; drug dealing does not encompass everything that they do.  Some of my friends deal weed and clearly I think they're good people.

But like I said, I do get it and I wish I could change things too.  I've been thinking about speaking to them about it but the fact of the matter is I don't know the entire story and I don't know what it's like to be a single parent.  Same as you.

So it took me three or four times to read this to make sure I understood what you were saying.

I think, potentially, you're the one who needs to get a grip. Childhood colds are not the end of the world. So the kid was at Grammas with a runny nose. Mothers are not slaves to their children, nor do they cease to be human once they give birth, and while the kid should come first, it is not the ONLY thing in this woman's life. Nor should it be.

Moving on. So you're listening to gossip and then spreading that gossip, about this "drug dealer" and "bad mother" couple? Well thank God we have you as a shining example of maturity in this situation. You may have grown up in a well-rounded family but something your parents forgot to teach you is that hearsay and gossip ALWAYS do more harm than good.

So what have we learned here? Stop being a judgmental gossipy harpy, and focus on your own life first. That way, you won't have time to judge people you don't truly know, or make blanket parenting statements that are insulting and rude to every person who's ever considered having children.