Friday, 10 December 2010
For example: boy meets girl. boy gives girl number. boy waits on girl day and night for her call. girl is going about her day with ease. boy feels powerless.
Another scenario in relationships: girl and boy have fight. they split for tonight to ease their aggression. next day girl waits for boy to call. girl is in agony wondering if their relationship is still stable. boy on the other hand has forgotten about the fight and has gone with his day as if nothing has happened. girl feels powerless.
There are far more scenarios when one person's interests in the relationship exceeds the other and leads them to be powerless. The one who has little less interests then holds more of an influence on the relationship, therefore has more of the power and control of the relationship.
I could see that kind of dynamic power struggle in my past relationships. In the beginning of one relationship, I had little interests in the guy. He sought my heart for a long time and I gave in. However, once I gave in I fully committed to the relationship which led me to be easily influenced by him. Thankfully, he broke up with me. At the time, I was fully committed and breaking up was not an option I could carry out on my own. If had not broken up with me, I think I would have been totally whipped and miserable.
In the current relationship, I want to believe my and partner and I hold the same interests in the relationship. There are times when are interests change, such as the second scenario, when we get into fights. I think he has an easier time letting go of fights, which leads me to be on the other side of the phone line waiting desperately for his call. We do make up in the end.
Can you think of your "power struggles"? In your relationships, could you see when the changes in interests occurred? Presently, who in your relationship holds the most "power"?