Thursday, 09 December 2010
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7 Ways to Be the Sexiest Woman in the Room
(Warning: This post contains an inordinate amount of generalizations. There are always exceptions.)In these modern times, women are just as capable (if not more) than our male companions. We work, raise children (no easy task), are educated, take care of our home, yet when it comes to mating rituals, extremely old conceptions of how things should be still reign supreme.
I often see women bunkered in a corner of a party, chatting with each other and making sideways glances at men they are interested in, while glaring at the other women. They seem to think that men should approach them. Especially since they spent all that time analyzing themselves in the mirror and correcting minute details.
To a man, you are in a fortress. You are Rapunzel, attractive but unattainable because you won't let your hair down so they can meet you. Basically, you make yourself impossible to talk to.
This is why girls only ever talk to smooth players, the guys that are skilled at climbing towers and conquering women. And they fall for it, while the men have already moved on by that time to another tower.
So here are things you can do to attract good men and keep them coming back:
Don't sweat the small stuff
When you get ready to go out, cut the amount of time you spend looking and hating yourself at least in half. Just put on something you think looks good and is also comfortable (nothing will fall out if you move wrong, the tag isn't itchy and your straps don't keep falling down). Don't worry about making sure every little imperfection is corrected. Men are simple creatures. They won't notice. Ever get in a relationship with a man and you get your hair chopped off and colored and he doesn't notice? Yeah, he definitely won't see the little stray eyebrow hair. Most of the dressing women do are for intimidating other women. Forget it.
Don't be selective
When you arrive, don't just stick with your clique. Branch out, talk to everyone. That includes other women. Everyone there has just as many insecurities as you do. Be nice to your own gender. Make girl friends. Talk to any man around you, strike up a conversation. Even if he isn't your type, now you look and act approachable.
Smile!
Genuinely smile, laugh, joke, flirt, tease. Be open and happy. Let go of how you hate your booty and shake it. Forget keeping your hair perfect. Let your personality shine.
Compliment men.
Casanova said, “tell a beautiful woman she's smart and a smart woman she's beautiful.” Well, compliments don't go very far with women anymore, our own insecurities breed paranoia and distrust. However, men are REALLY susceptible to compliments. Try it. Even if he plays modest and brushes it off, you'll notice how he starts to stand up straighter and his chest puffs out a bit. Men LOVE compliments. They never get them, and if you make them feel good about themselves, they'll keep coming back.
Don't take numbers.
This may seem contrary to the message, but men also like chasing rather than being pursued. So feel free to give out your number, don't bother taking theirs. If they're interested, they'll let you know.
Don't expect anything.
I see women pining after men that are clearly not interested quite often. Women are often apt to fall for these men who trample their hearts. But what they don't realize is often they are putting their hearts on the ground and men step all over them because they don't realize or see that they are doing so. They also just don't care because they weren't really interested in the first place. So, don't expect anything from the man you met last night. Even if you slept with him, assume it was a one night stand. Forget him. If he genuinely likes you, he will contact you. Men generally hate feeling like they're trapped, they assume if you are pursuing them they should run because they're being hunted.
Compliment yourself.
You are beautiful, intelligent, strong, and completely worthy of love. You have flaws but you are not a bad person. Treat yourself as well as you would treat anyone else. While it would be nice to meet the man of your dreams tomorrow, if it doesn't happen, it isn't a reflection of your self worth. Go do things that make you happy.
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- From: kaylaya@xanga
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Comments (54)
Hm, this is pretty good. I especially like the advice of "be nice to your own gender", "don't take numbers", and "don't expect anything". Being catty is never attractive, being a genuine, sweet person is. And most of our over-analyzing could be done away with if we simply left it up to the gentleman to do the pursuing. One, they like it, and two, you know for sure that they like you and are interested if they put that much work into getting to know you. Of course, you can't make the guy do all the work- you have to reciprocate and show interest in him as well. But waiting for him to make the first few calls and set up the first few dates- works like a charm.
I don't agree with the "don't take numbers" part. Sometimes the guy is a player and will call you for phone sex or to meet up for a quickie. If you give them your number ask for his, if you feel like initiating conversation then do so. Or be the damsel in distress and wait for him to call you. Just because you give him your number does not mean he will contact you.
I usually don't like the lists that people post on here but this one is pretty good :)
What happens if all of us reading this takes this advice at the same party? Who would be the sexiest woman in the room?
@callist0@xanga - If he does just call you for phone sex or a quickie you can say "no" and then not respond to him again.
And if he doesn't want to contact you do you want to be the one looking desperate because he hasn't called you? I wouldn't. If he doesn't call, then he doesn't call. Time to move on.
@himynameisTARYN@xanga - Hmmm. I guess that will all depend on who ends up getting the most calls?? I dunno.
@himynameisTARYN@xanga - Ah, don't you get it? Every woman is the sexiest woman in the room. At least she should be to herself and the man she catches. :)
It's more on how to have confidence.
@WhenHateIsTheOnlyOption@xanga - But when you feel confident, that's when you feel the sexiest. =)
i hope every woman in the nation reads this informative post.
and, the collected definitive information on men and compliments... i applaud. clap clap clap ^^ that's very accurate, though yes, we're much proud to show our soft giggly blushing side, haha. we WILL puff our chests out and stand up straighter, it's true, all while holding in that awkward smile dying to get out.
Wonderful post. I like it very much :) be nice to your own gender, and compliment men too - I don't think ALL women brush off compliments out of insecurity, though.
basically act like the female version of a smooth player and talk to everybody while keeping your eye on your target.
@himynameisTARYN@xanga - Me. Duh.
and this is how i rock a room :o
beautiful :]
Love this. =]
I like this! So true.
Good advice, which I need to take. I'm one of those Rapunzels and only thick-skinned guys dare to talk to me (and long term friends tell me I come off frosty). But I'm painfully shy and only open up when I'm around very close friends! I always lament why I get checked out but never get asked for my numbe but I guess it's because I'm too busy building walls around myself.
I really like your metaphor of Repunzel and letting down ones hair.
In a way, this almost seems like a self-centered list.With that said:
If I see a woman talking to any and every guy I'm not going to talk to her: trying to hard AND and unapproachable - if she talks to everyone how does that make me any different?
I think women forget what compliments are. The compliments are coming from an honest perspective. If mine telling you that you're beautiful doesn't mean shit then you are either stuck up or have some weird shyness/inferiority complex going on. Why is complimenting me get ou into my pants but not the other way? Why because we are turned on by honesty, truthfulness, hence why we ask, "You liking this?" or "Why me?"
@Thumper49047@xanga - It is self-centered. That's because most(!!) women are incredibly self-loathing, insecure, and unhappy. A lot of women will fall over trying to do right by everyone else, which is why you see a lot of women that stay in abusive relationships longer than they should. And because we hate ourselves so much, compliments ring false because we don't see what everyone else does. We've warped our image into a monster. A monster with a vagina, which we think is the only thing of real value on our bodies anymore. So compliments = trying to get me to bed.
Also, with talking to people, it's not like she's trying to get anything, she's just being friendly. I go to parties alone a lot and just start up a convo with someone near me. By the end of the night I'm friends with a new circle of people. It's not that I'm trying for anything, for god's sake I'm married, but men have said to me that they were incredibly drawn to me not because of my looks but because of my personality. The goal is being personable, not "slutty" or "cold".
I hope that clarifies it better.
@Nytfyr@xanga - Did you see Tangled yet?!?! :D
@kaylaya@xanga - Yes, it was awesome. =) I liked the whole concept in the story, especially how he's a crook and it ends properly.
Great post.
My only criticism isn't even directed at you. Lol, I think men let compliments go to their heads and develop egos, so it's best not to give them out too often ;D But hey, if you're looking for a guy to be with, complimenting him is indeed a great start.
+ Make eye contact.