We've all heard it before: "Nice guys always finish last." But, I'm not here to address the "nice guys are cowards" aspect. I'm here to discuss the flip side of things.
See, from what a lot of people speculate, a nice guy is the worst thing to be when trying to pursue a relationship. That being last is always a horrible position to be in. That being nice will get you nowhere in the dating world. That's not true.
I remember my junior year of college when we had a new student transfer into my class. She sat down across from me and asked if this was the class she was supposed to be in. I told her yes and introduced myself. We exchanged some stories and our background information. I also told her that I know how it feels to transfer in since I was a transfer student myself and that she had nothing to be afraid of, that the junior class are friendly and such. She may have a group of friends that she hangs out with more on a daily basis now, but the one thing that I remembered one moment that really touched my heart. I was walking by when she was talking to another person. I waved hi and walked over to join the conversation. She then said, "I like it here so far. Ben is my first friend here in Philly and he made me feel so welcomed." She then gave me a really huge hug.
Now, how does this relate to relationships? Well, you do know why the nice guys finish last? Because they are the one person that the girl finally goes to when she is done dealing with all the jerks, the assholes, the douchebags that mistreated her, cheated on her, abused her, etc.
Nice guys may not be assertive at first, but they show that they are loyal to the very end, even if it means that they don't end up with the girl. They will be there when you need a ride home, when you need your computer fixed, when you just someone to listen when you're upset. The nice guy will always be someone you can always go back to when you reached a low point. Someone who can always pick you back up. And isn't that what anyone would be looking for when getting into a relationship?
Now, there are people who are attracted to be treated badly. And, if that's your thing, go ahead. But, don't always view being the nice guy as a bad thing, that you would never be to get what you want. Know that even if you may not end up with the girl, you have at least impacted her life in a big way. That she still has that spot in her heart for you.
Have you dated the "nice guy" (or been one!)?
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Comments (122)
Or they are completely desperate and are willing to throw themselves at your feet = weakness and no self-respect or concern for themselves.
The nice guy is boring. He's too predictable. There's no surprise, she'll be desensitized to your constant kindness and chivalry. There is no reason to provide the girl everything from the get-go. If you do, there's no gain to even being in a relationship. She can just keep you as a friend because you'll always be there to be her bitch.
lol they like nice guys but still lust after the bad ones lol
Girls will always lust after the bad boys, really theres no changing it. Ive found that dating a nice guy is more satisfying to my inner emotions than constantly being on the roller coaster ride that is dating a bad guy, or the one obsessed with his image. Its extremely tiring. It might have gotten my hormones racing, but in the end, hormones arent worth all the drama.
I'm married to the quintessential nice guy. I've dated many bad boys or the wrong type for me, and trust me, I knew when I started dating him, that he was the one, and he truly showed me, he's exciting and funny and just full of heart, without the bad boy (asshole) syndrome.
"they are the one person that the girl finally goes to when she is done dealing with all the jerks, the assholes, the douchebags that mistreated her, cheated on her, abused her, etc. " is just a euphemism for they finally choose the nice guy after they've been used up inside.
The guy I've completely fallen for is a total nice guy. After all the assholes I've dated it's a nice change. :)
I've been told I try to hard. I don't know what that means, should always try right?! I've been dumped before by someone who said, "I'm dating someone who sucks more."
I believe nice guys are always the best ones to date. However, I know from experience, you have to have some bad boy in you to get a girl's attention. You don't have to be a total ass, just had a little wild side, girl's like that. Once that is done, then they are usually the sweetest kind of guy ever. I dated a straight up goody good guy once and he was awesome, but there wasen't that bad boy sense to him and everything was just kind of blah. So nice guys! Don't give up! Just show a little wild side(:
I was the nice guy in my last relationship and that ended pretty much inexplicably, probably something to do with being too predictable. Being the nice guy is boring, but I think I am always going to be the quintessential nice guy no matter how much I wish I wasn't. Be yourself and hope for the best is my advice.
did you two end up going out?
Nice guys supposedly have better "relationship skills".
However, better relationship skills =/= Attraction
That's why the edgy jerks/badboys garner more attention; they can flip on those emotional switches in women.
I've dated a lot, and I've only seriously dated one "nice guy." Yes I'm quickly attracted to jerks, but I finally got the "nice guy."
My little brother has only had one girlfriend and it only lasted a month. I was telling my boyfriend how I wish I could help him and my boyfriend says:
" I'll help him. I mean he's already got the trump card, the nice guy."
and I respond "Uh, I think that's his problem."
"No, the problem is ringing the girl in, but after that it's solid because the girl realizes they got something loyal and someone who will take care of her."
I just wish the nice guy had better courting skills and confidence.
They like "nice" guys? That's crap. Every one I've known loved to be treated like shit. Spare me.
I don't.
I recently got out of a relationship with one of the nicest guys I know. I'd never date that nice of a nice guy ever again; not because he had a bad personality or anything, but because I can't date guys that don't have a certain amount of douchebag in them. I'm a pretty big asshole, so if you cry more than I do and can't handle my jokes...well, it's just not going to work out.
I love the nice guys. When I'm looking for a relationship I always go for the nice guys. I think they're nice guy personality is not only better for my heart and soul, haha, but I think it makes them physically cuter than 'hot' guys who are pricks.
I've been a nice guy.
I only date nice guys. I think those bad boys are attracted to are actually quite boring and samey. Plus, sometimes it's the whole aesthetic thing - which I don't care for. Hearts not faces for me.
I only date nice guys. Sometimes they turn out to be too nice lol and it doesn't work out. But besides that, I have great luck now. My bf is a nice guy. Extremely nice.
This is entirely true, in m experience. Jerks may be attractive for a moment, but it's "nice guys" who are relationship material. The nice guy always gets the girl (or a girl worth having) in the end, because he's the one who deserves her. He's the one worth marrying.
I've dated a jerk, and I'll admit I was attracted to his cockiness. He didn't treat me well and it ended up being a really bad situation. I've dated only supportive and sweet guys after that. My boyfriend now is absolutely amazing and someone I really see a future with. It's because he's a nice guy that I love him so much. I can count on him, he's comfortable talking to me about anything, is always understanding, and would do anything for me (as I would for him). I know pretty much everything about him. I don't like to see him putting on a show of not caring or making light of things that are important to him (playing the jerk), just because he has to in front of his guy friends. The times when I'm most attracted to him are when he's being 100% himself (AKA a "nice guy").
nice guys are awesome, yes. a girl definitely comes to appreciate them after a while. BUT he needs to have an exciting side too-- AND a backbone as well. otherwise we'll just get bored, and see you as kind of pathetic. that's what a lot of "nice guys" don't understand. it's not that we want to be with an "asshole" or to be treated like shit, certainly not. but we don't want a guy that allows himself to be a doormat or who bores us to death either.
It wasn't until I stopped being "the nice guy" that I found my wife. I wasn't a douche, but I didn't pussyfoot around with "friending" her, either.
I wish there was some way to accurately survey this. It's such a tossup. I'd say that it's best for the guy to know when to be nice and when to be edgy.
The guy she only comes to so she can feel better about herself?
Fuck that noise...Ideally I am attracted to the nicer guys who treat me well. It's usually something else that makes me not as attracted to them, but that varies person by person. It's hard to define actually.
My boyfriend treats me better than any of my ex's did. He is far better, and I don't know if I'd classify him as the typical "nice guy" but he's definitely nice to me.@oMeGaXmK2@xanga - Agreed!
In my book, nice guys always finish first. I'll pick a nice guy over a bad ass any day!