Wednesday, 01 December 2010
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My Parents Want to... Gulp... Meet Your Parents.
Watching the movie Meet the Parents, I could never really relate. To me, meeting each other's families in relationships should be an exciting time-- an opportunity to know our partner and where he or she comes from that much more intimately.
However, and this is a big however, Meet the Fockers was a whole other story. My parents meeting my boyfriend's parents? Now there's a nightmare.
Now, there are important things to note here. Our parents aren't polar opposites like the ones in Meet the Fockers. They share the same religious and political views, and come from basically the same financial background. But does that make it any less stressful? Not for me.
I am of the belief that no matter how old we get, on some level, if we are close to our families, we never stop wanting to please them. Sure, we may become parents, wives, husbands, SOs... but we were always a daughter or a son first. That doesn't melt away with age.
The fact is, life is just easier if everyone can get along-- if two families can merge and communicate, and things like holidays and family parties can be held without awkwardness or division.
And maybe that's my hesitation about my boyfriend's parents and my parents meeting-- it's not broken, so why fix it?
I adore my boyfriend's parents, and he has a very comfortable relationship with mine. The idea that they will meet and not like each other throws a wrench into what is currently a great situation. It's not that I'm afraid of change, I just worry about the unpredictable factor.
What if our moms hate each other? What if our dads have nothing to talk about? What if we're in for a lifetime of cattiness and nasty comments?
Of course, there's no way to know this other than to just find out.
Have you guys ever had apprehension about your parents meeting an SO's parents? When did you know the time was right?
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About the Author
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- From: KerrSull
- About Me: I'm a 24 year old serial monogamist who oddly thinks she knows everything while continuing to have tons of questions about that crazy little thing called love.
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Comments (13)
well it depends on you're age, my parents met my high school bf's parents and yeah it was nice and went surprisingly well, though deep down i thought it would, but it was sorta pointless minus that they trusted me being at his house that type of thing.
When I was younger, my mom almost always met my boyfriend's parents (or at least his mom). Now that I'm older, it's hard enough getting my boyfriend (when I have one) to meet my parents, let alone getting our parents to meet one another.
A few months ago, I was listening to a debate on the radio about when people thought the proper time for parents to meet was. A lot of people who called into the station thought that it wasn't necessary for a couple's parents to meet until the engagement party or even the day of the wedding! I thought that was pretty extreme. I know for a fact that wouldn't fly in my family.
I don't see a issue with it,just go to dinner or something
I would be worried about my boyfriend's parents meeting my parents since my parents don't like my boyfriend purely for the fact that he's dating me. I'm pretty sure our parents would get along very well because his parents are conservative and Catholic like my parents. They also do not dress like my boyfriend nor have tattoos or a lip ring. I still haven't met his parents though. I've only talked to his mom on the phone. I'd want to make sure that I got along with them before I had our parents meet, but that's an obvious haha. I don't think they'd meet unless my boyfriend and I were to get engaged because his family is in Texas and mine is in California. So I guess it depends on the situation.
Unfortunately, my bf's mother doesn't like me and I'm sure like she did with my mother, give my father a piece of her mind. Sadly, I don't think I want them to ever meet again. My bf's mother is too bothersome, as well as most of my bf's family maybe except his dad. I like his dad lol
Yeah, my mom and my boyfriend's parents, I am really under the impression that they should never meet. I mean, if we get married that would be a problem. It would just be an utter disaster. My mom is significantly older and I come from a non-conventional family. He comes from a family that kinda frowns on adoption (well, maybe not frowns on it, but it's a very confusing issue for them) and I'm adopted as is my grandma. They are close-knit, my family only sort of talks to each other. They just have nothing in common with each other and I feel like it would be a spell for disaster.
I think you're freaking out a little bit more than necessary. I know this because I do it, too. I just met my boyfriend's parents for the first time this weekend and I stressed about that for no reason. I feel like parents meeting parents is just another step. I'll probably stress about it, too, but at least it isn't like just because they meet they have to hang out with each other. They'll rarely see each other so even if they don't click right away, it doesn't really matter.
Its really not that bad...although I'm so drunk its fun in my head...maybe why I've never got the ok from her folks! Damn, this news is depressing..."Hey Kathie Lee and Hoda, you have any vodka left from Thirst Day?"
i never saw this being a problem. i haven't really had to worry about it yet, but my mom gets along with everyone, pretty much no matter what.
I'm terrified. My boyfriends parents are classy, genuinely kind, generous people. My mom, as much as I love her, is a mean, sloppy, selfish person. My dad is nice, but my mom controls him.
My boyfriends parents have been pushing to meet my parents, even though I've told them many times what they're like, they still want to try. My mom keeps pushing it further away and making bigger scenes and making it more difficult.
My parents met my boyfriend's parents by accident about a year ago. My boy came with my parents and I to get dinner one day, and it just so happens his parents and his sister were eating at the place next to where we were going to eat. As we walked by, his mom noticed us and his family came out to meet my parents. It went well and I'm sure if our parents weren't so busy, they'd go to the casino or the bar together sometime.
I refused to introduce my EX's family to mine while we were together. I understand exactly what you mean. Our families were polar opposites and defiantly put a strain on my end of the relationship when they did meet. Only do it if you two are on the same page and are completely ready, it was a big deal to me.
Summer prior to freshman year, my bf calls and says, "Hey babe, my dad wants to meet your mom..." At first I panicked. I was like, noooo! My family's too weird! Then I remembered that this guy was like... a junior or senior at the time (I thought he was SO OLD!) and that his dad was a slacker pot head. So I was like, "Why the hell does he wanna meet my mom?"
My bf's casual response was "Well, he figures where there's a hot daughter there's a hot mom."My mom nearly pissed herself laughing when I told her.