Wednesday, 01 December 2010
-
Christmas Tree Compatibility
One of the best things my relationship has going for it is compatibility. My boyfriend and I have a great back and forth, and we generally get along really well. Of course, though, like all relationships, we have our little things where we will never agree.
The day after Thanksgiving, my boyfriend came over to help my family and I decorate for Christmas, as we do every Black Friday. As he helped my dad string our traditional white lights around the tree, I heard him mutter the following blasphemy:
"White lights? Talk about the most boring sh** ever."
You could have heard a pin drop.
I love me some white lights. To me, they're the classiest way to light the tree, and the only kinds of lights we've ever had in my family. Colored lights to me scream tacky and cheap. Sure, you can put colored lights outside if you want a splash of color, but when it comes to my tree, I want it to look the way I want it.
However, to my SO, white lights are a snobby snooze, and he joked to me that he would never have a tree with white lights, as they would deprive his future children with me of colorful and delightful childhood. Pft.
Now calm down my Datingish cohorts: I realize this is not that serious of an argument. It's an easy compromise and is not even close to being a deal breaker.
But it is an interesting thought-- does our difference in Christmas traditions show how different we truly are? Should it mean compromise? Or should one of us give in to the other's taste?
And it doesn't stop with lights... we all have things that we believe passionately in when it comes to Christmas, such as:
- Real Tree vs. Artificial Tree
- Blinking Lights vs. Still Lights
- Star Topper vs. Angel Topper
- Color Coordinated Ornaments vs. Matching Ornaments
And those are just a few. And we all have our reasons, that I've found through conversations with friends, we are not willing to budge on much at all.
So how do you guys feel about this?
What are your Christmas decorating traditions? Have you ever run into this argument in a relationship? And most importantly, what do you think these taste levels say about you?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: KerrSull
- About Me: I'm a 24 year old serial monogamist who oddly thinks she knows everything while continuing to have tons of questions about that crazy little thing called love.
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 70 Views: 0 181131 Comments: 0 2317 View all posts by KerrSull
Comments (47)
Lol I think this is kind of silly. Of course there can be a compromise with this. I generally do like colorful lights and a real tree (i just love their smell!). We always use my old crafts I made when I was little to hang onto the tree. As for a solution? Try doing both colorful and white lights mixed in together, or two solid colors. Christmas is supposed to be about fun, never forget that.
I also love white lights! I've also been brought up with white lights, it's way prettier.
I still live with my parents, and he's on his own so maybe I'll help him and his roommates set it up and we all have different tastes so we'll see.
He was harsh about it though.
I don't think it shows how 'different' you two are, but you two just have different taste and preferences in decorating your Christmas tree. Like you said, an easy compromise would fix it. Personally, I find white lights to be boring, too, and I don't think I can stand it if I have to look at a tree with white lights for a whole month. Lol. With compromise, you both win.
i do love white lights :) you are right. they are classier.
Hello everyone. I'm a colorful lights, fake tree, star topper.
Lol... yeah I'm not a fan of white lights, but I wouldn't mind alternating each year if my future husband would want it. The star is the one thing I couldn't change though, for whatever reason... my ex liked angels on top, but didn't mind topping the tree with the star when he helped my family one year.
My family has 2 trees. The first tree is artificial, white lights, matching ornaments and a star. The second tree is sometimes real, it just depends on the year, colored AND white lights both (blinking!) and then crazy fun decorations with a flashing star on top lol. I really like having both the "pretty" tree and the "family" tree.
If I HAVE TO HAVE a tree (I could do without altogether):
Fake tree, still, solid colored lights, matching ornaments.
The SO is all about real tree, multi colored lights and whatever ornaments he finds and likes.
I wouldn't mind multi-colored lights... but there's no real pattern. If it were red green blue yellow over and over... fine. But they're never RIGHT. And blinking lights... oh jesus. They turn me into Monk.
If you happen to have kids, let them decide what colors the lights should be. (Yes, it's likely they'll choose colored lights.)
Amazing datingish post. I'd have to agree that white lights are boring and that color is the way to go. White is not always right!
My SO usually just argues against putting up a tree at all, saying we won't be home on Christmas anyway so why bother? Luckily I've been living on my own the past two years, so I put one up at my place anyway. Three holidays ago we lived together, and I did not get to have a tree :(
Oh my gosh. My two friends are like that....we were decorating one of their houses over Thanksgiving and he loves color, but my other friend only uses white lights and was cringing the whole time! lol.
Ugh totally opposite over here. I LOVE colored lights and my SO loves white lights but his family rarely does the whole christmas tree thing. My family is a fake tree, colored & white lights, colorful star type of family. I will be putting both white and colored lights on my tree until the day I die. White lights can be put on the outside of the house the colorful ones attract a lot of attention. However, I want to start doing a real tree cause it sucks taking out the fake tree and making it look real. It looses it's awesomeness after a couple of years.
White, real tree, angel topper here. But I prefer modern and classy ornaments that are in a color-coordinated fashion, like greens and purples, or silvers and blues. Though I think the prettiest trees are the kinds with white lights and glass icicles only.
Twinkling lights are kind of cool, btw. The LED ones. I like running lights for outside, and icicle lights for off the roof, all white of course.
real tree, alll the time! my lights preference changes every year. i don't get much say in it (my mom is queen christmas decorator).
sometimes i like the really traditional tree with white lights and dainty ornaments, but usually i prefer the fun multi-colored crazy christmas tree. it's quirky and cute and when you put up all the mismatched, made by yourself ornaments, it's just so homely :)
i'm extremely upset though, because my best friend, who i plan on moving in with soon, have totally different christmas tastes. he's not into christmas at all, actually. we went to walmart the other day so he could help me pick out a lawn ornament for my mom, and i joked around asking how we're going to decorate our tree. he looked at me and says, "... what tree?!" i was so disappointed in him..
I personally prefer white lights, real tree, angel topper...but that's just me.
I don't think it shows your differences, it's just what you and him are both used too.
Perhaps you guys could do it your way this year and his way next year?
COMPROMISE!
@jeezshoua@xanga - agreed
My bf honestly doesn't care. Neither do I. We just decorate for fun and whatever we wanna put up.
You should be happy this is your biggest issue.
And tell your bf to watch his mouth around your father. lol
lol I like my lights to be all of the same colour {and Do have a soft spot for the white ones}, and hate the blinking ones with a Passion, my issue is talking Him into getting me a tree :p
White lights. Artificial tree, they hurt less and don't shed. Still lights. Star topper or something interesting. Whatever ornaments I like the best, :P.
We have ALWAYS had a fake tree and my boyfriend has ALWAYS had a real tree. He says he couldn't have Christmas without it. When I go to his house I sneeze and get stuffed up when they have their tree up. Not to mention they lay a sheet under it to catch the crap that falls off. Sorry, but no. I want to breathe when I'm opening my presents. I like white or colored lights though. Both can be nice. Also I'm star vs angel topper. I'm atheist so most people would say I shouldn't celebrate christmas anyways but its fun so I'd rather a star which isn't always so blatantly religious.
Only in relationships can people get into fights over fucking tree lights. Your questions, however, are good ones arguably. It's very minor, but I wouldn't let this problem go unchecked, unless you and him want to have fights every year on the most wonderful time of the year for materialism.
If neither of you are going to budge, christmas will be ruined. There is no point in making one or the other give into his or her desires because you'll still be fighting about which one of the two should give in. Compromise is the key. If neither of you can reach a compromise, go spend it with your respective families and enjoy your traditions that way. No point in damaging that relationship over that way. Then, once the year is over, then you both can come up with a plan for it.
As far as one of your questions goes: It's perfectly normal to have somebody who doesn't approve of everything you do. That's just normal society.
Real tree, colorful lights, blinking AND constant lights, completely mis-matched ornaments, no christmas tree topper.
And yeah white lights sounds boring as hell.
idk how to compromise when it comes to things like this,
but i do know i agree with him and white lights are mad boring haha
When my boyfriend and I put our tree up (which has colored lights, that were mine) I said "I hate trees with just white lights, so stuck up" and then he got pissy with me and I didn't know why. We then went to his parents house to decorate and sure enough, white lights on his tree. HOWEVER, by the end of the day I couldn't get over how gorgeous their tree looked, classy and beautiful and not at all snotty looking. I had a change of heart. He could too someday.
Growing up we had a real tree, blinking colored lights. I HATED the lights! Real tree I liked. However, the lights were so terrible. They also played music. Ugh. Now that I'm married, we have our own tree. The past 2 years we used all blue lights with white/silver garland. We bought a new tree this year. Pre-lit with white lights. The white lights meant we had to get new garland. The white/silver didn't look good with the white lights. So, we bought blue/silver garland. The ornaments are all the ones I had growing up. My mom always made us a new ornament for every Christmas so that's what we decorate it with, along with my husbands from his childhood. I love decorating for Christmas!