Monday, 29 November 2010
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Open Call! What Songs Remind You of Your Ex?
Whether it was your first love, a quick relationship or an abusive one, we all have songs that remind us of the good, the bad and the time you broke into your neighbor's car and defiled it with hot sex. That shift-stick will never be the same again.
As much as I hate it, moments in time can very easily be associated with songs we love or the places we've been. Europe's "The Final Countdown" may be closely associated with a memory of your marriage teetering on the edge of divorce by the day, while any whiny All American Rejects song could perfectly accompany the countless times you've been dumped in the rain, left to soak in your bitter tears.
The hurt just resurfaces with each note and every hook that pulls on your heart strings, like an out-of-tune guitar missing the high strings creating an emphasis on the lows. Your favorite song has become the last tune you want on your playlist, and that's just about as depressing as a Bright Eyes song.
How does one manage to keep listening to a song that brings back painful memories? One helpful suggestion is to associate the songs or artists with new experiences, so they can replace the old memories.
My suggestion is definitely not a complete solution, but it can help and has helped me in the past. As a self-appointed music geek, I can't begin to tell you how careful I am when I'm in new relationships, with the music I listen to or share. I'll be damned if I'm going to let that whore (or asshole for the ladies) ruin John fucking Mayer for me. I don't care how wonderful I think your body is, I'm not wasting this song on you just yet. (Although I dislike John Mayer quite a bit, I decided to use him as an example because a song of his just came on the television).
What if you've gone to amazing shows or concerts with an ex in the past? How do you reminisce without feeling like ass afterward? This is all assuming that you're still hung-up on an ex or aren't quite over someone. Perhaps these memories just stay with you due to life-altering events or horrible experiences, as I previously mentioned.
If you could create a playlist of songs that you try to avoid because they bring back painful memories, what would it look like? I can only imagine many divorcees threw out their baby-making Barry White albums from the 70's, which single-handedly caused the baby boom that decade.
I would give you a playlist of my own, but I listen to some pretty obscure music so I don't know if you'd be able to relate or go "OMG! I TOTALLY CAN'T LISTEN TO THAT SONG, EITHER!"
Have at it. What songs would be on the playlist that remind you of your ex?
Sincerely,
Nunez Love DoctorCertified with a PhD in Terrible 80's Synth/Metal Intros and Making Babies.
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About the Author
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- From: AsylumBlue
- About Me: The musician in me is constantly dueling with my inner writer, trying to take its place. What I'm attempting to do is allow them to live harmoniously, but it seems that I'm a terrible peacemaker, because they haven't stopped bickering or flinging spit-balls at one another. I write political satire, short stories, poems and... actually, I can pretty much write about anything; I'm flexible (not physically, unfortunately). If I had to choose, it would be writing softcore romance novels full of seduction, extramarital affairs and incredibly specific details. I'm kidding about that last part, I think.
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Comments (126)
Lonestar's Amazed was our song...can't listen to it to this day
come on get higher - matt nathanson
that would be #1 lol
birthday sex lol
and pretty much any country.
the only song that really truly reminds me of my ex is chasing cars by snow patrol. he sung and played it for me for our 1 year anniversary. it doesn't bother me when i hear it though because i looooove the song.
OH and rascall flats, what hurts the most. while he was at work i went to the apartment we lived in to get some more of my things and i got on his computer and the lyrics to that song were on it. whether it was because of me leaving him or not, i can't help but to feel kind of bad when i hear it because that song is depressing as all hell. lol. there are probably a few more. we went to a few shows together like fftl, every time i die and even warped tour. but i don't associate any of those bands or songs with my ex. at all.
right now, fresh from a breakup only saturday, everything. anything by the black keys, the strokes, dave matthews, john mayer, king of leon, or queens of the stone age. basically half the shit i listen to.
Little Lion Man by Mumford and Sons has reminded me of my ex lately, mostly because he really screwed up and stopped being like the guy I started dating. Luckily, I still love the song and can listen to it. Or the song Beige Curtains by Riki Lindhome. That's good for when I laugh at what an idiot he's being.
Goodbye my Lover by James Blunt.
echo by gorilla zoe.
makes me feel a wholeee lot better bout my ex.
3 guys, 3 songs
time of your life - green day
electric feel - mgmt
broken - seether... well actually a ton of seether songs, but this one stands out
@o0oBrittanyo0o13@xanga - woah, me too, you took the words right outta my mouth!
"The Saltwater Room" by Owl City =\ hahaha corny, and their only good song... and such a painful song to relate to an ex.
Anything by Kid Cudi or whatever. Dumbass.
crazier by taylor swift, mixed up by miley cyrus, don't let me stop you by kelly clarkson, let me down easy by saving jane, are you gonna be my girl by jet, i saw her standing there, something and while my guitar gently weeps by the beatles
those are just top of my head songs lmao
he made me two cd's for valentines day last year that i love and still listen to though so i guess them haha
Till date when I hear this song it still reminds me of how he abused me towards the end of our relationship. Seriously behaving like a beast.
I can't stand Sean Kingston's song "Beautiful Girls." He spends the whole time singing how he could have hooked up with other girls, but he didn't because of that girl he's in a relationship with. It sounds sweet, but my ex used to say stuff like that to me all the time. He would say he turned down sex with tons of girls because we were in a relationship... and then he cheated on me anyways. It just makes me mad to hear that song.
"Stand Too Close" by Motion City Soundtrack. Every time I hear it now, I want to punch something. That's probably not healthy, but oh well. Haha.
My ex ruined Sublime for me. Then he went to jail. Just goes to show you, Karma is a BITCH.
Anything by Alesana is pretty much painful. Or Parkway Drive. And now, a new guy (not even an ex) has screwed up Modern Day Escape for me, just as they switched drummers. Which sucks, because I really like their new one, cuz she was in BVB.Oh, and tell me your playlist. Obscurity is my domain!
"Are You Still Down" by Jon B and Tupac. We used to duet. I'd sing Jon B, and he'd do Tupac.
Another song that reminds me of someone I dated (and still getting over) is "American Boy" by Estelle and Kanye West. He loved that song.
"Ghost of Love"--the Proclaimers
"Iris"--the GooGoo Dolls
"Nervous/Thin" by the Ticky-Tackies
"The Nurse Who Loved Me" by A Perfect Circle (yes I know it's a remake, the remake version was the song we danced to for our first dance at our wedding).
For about a month after my husband kicked me out, I couldn't listen to love songs at all. Now I can, even though it's only been about 2 months total. It was weird the first time I heard one and didn't cry. I was like, "Oh, hey, maybe I CAN do this without him".
Angel by Shaggy..strangely O.o
Cute Without The E by taking back sunday.
@disorderlychina@xanga - Broken is definitely my song too!
15 Step by Radiohead reminds me of my most recent ex. It's sad, because it's a really good song, yet since I lost my virginity to that song, I can't listen to it without the taste of bad blood in my mouth. Villains by Mad Caddies is another.
First love - anything by Taking Back Sunday. It's like someone running their nails down a chalkboard I can't stand it so much now! This of course was 7 years ago but it still gets on my nerves. It could also just be the music hehe.
Most recent love that I still love but we aren't together - "I'll be seeing you" by Billie Holliday that's the main song that literally sang about us. If I listen to it and listen to the lyrics then I start crying b/c I miss him. There's a ton of other songs but that's the main one.