Sunday, 28 November 2010
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My New Boyfriend Doesn't Know That I Already Had Sex
I'm Christian. He's Christian.
And he doesn't know that I already had sex.
My sex life was completely hidden. I kept it a secret for almost a year, but now a few of my close friends know. Other than that, nobody ever suspects it because I appear to be very clean and innocent looking (or so I think).Being intimate with my new boyfriend feels weird sometimes. Being his first girlfriend doesn't make it any easier. He's able to arouse me, but I restrict myself from going any further with him. We kiss, hug, make out... but something about it all doesn't seem right. I want to do more but I can't because we both attend the same church and it's just not right! I feel like this is such a new experience for him and I can tell that he's all pretty giddy about it too, but I don't feel the same way.
Have you ever experienced this before? Reaching third base and then running back to first? And then staying at first base until marriage (haha... that's the plan!)?
Also, do you think I should tell him that I'm experienced? Will that hinder our chances of being together?
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About the Author
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- From: awkward_me
- About Me: This is my secret Xanga, which includes many posts of my love life - good and bad. I'm here to vent, pour my heart out, share some stories and get some advice. I'm just a regular teenager, wanting to get through life without falling too deep.
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Comments (131)
No, but I'll tell you it's hard. My boyfriend's a virgin, I'm not. We're both Christian. We've compromised already though.
you won't feel at ease until you let him know.
o.o
You should probably think about telling him.
oh btw, if anyone gets that modcloth ad,
is that leg photoshopped off of that girl in the blue dress or what? LOL
@ohletitbe@xanga - i refreshed the page 4 times so i could see it hhahaha. and yes, definitely something missing there! lol
as for the poster, you need to tell him. especially if he means a lot to you. it'll eat you up inside if you don't.
Starting your relationship on lies won't get you anywhere. It'll be hard for him to accept it and it will hurt him, but as your bf, he deserves to know. My recent ex is a Christian and he's not a virgin (but I am), guess what ended up happening? He dumped me for not being a Christian after dating for half a year. Funniest sht EVERRR-,-
@beebizzle@xanga - LOLZ You can instantly tell HAHA. It just looks out of place.
I'd say tell him. If he can't accept it then maybe go separate ways. Your sex life isn't what defines you, you know? Also, maybe I'm reading too into the post, but don't feel guilty or dirty for having sex. Sex is a beautiful thing when done with someone you love.
@ohletitbe@xanga - when i first read this reply i thought it was on your last blog. hahahahah. i was like "wait, that doesn't answer my question. what looks out of place/???" hahahaha.
A Christian does not lie. Tell the truth.
Even if he didn't ask, tell him anyways. You have to be able to confide in each other. And if he disapproves of your lack of virginity, then he's not the right one for you. It'll be of good intentions to tell him.
you should be honest with your boyfriend.
Just tell him. Be honest.
I haven't experienced it before because I usually don't date religious people. the religious people I know often don't practice what they preach and are more corrupt than my non-religious friends. just my personal experiences.
That's kind of a big thing to keep from him. Especially if he assumes you're a virgin and thinks it's important that you are a virgin.
It's like your relationship is being built on lies already. A relationship built on lies will never work.I had already done stuff with a guy before I met my boyfriend who hadn't done anything. It was fun helping guide him through things he wasn't too skilled at yet. You should really be honest with him though.
Don't ask, don't tell.
@BlehhItsTu@xanga - A Christian does not lie? Christians are human. Christians lie, too. Christians shouldn't lie, in the same way decent human beings also shouldn't lie.
In the end, the truth comes out. Might as well make it easier for yourself and tell him. But if it's something you're not comfortable revealing to him, I'd wait until the relationship itself was a little more serious.
@BlehhItsTu@xanga - just clarifying, christians lie all the time.. because everybody lies. i am a christian and i have not gone a single day without lying once. except that day where i was asleep for 21 hours and when i couldnt talk as a baby. i guess u can say we're not SUPPOSED to lie, but there are so many exceptions that question whether we should or not - sometimes lying is morally correct in the situation.
I think you're putting way to much emphasis on perception. The first thing you stated was Christianity and (in my opinion) your religious affiliation doesn't affect your sexual past.
"...Other than that, nobody ever suspects it because I appear to be very clean and innocent looking (or so I think)." As if people have a radar for sexual past or prowess?! Come on.
"I want to do more but I can't because we both attend the same church and it's just not right!" Don't use your religion to validate feelings - I'm not so sure that's how religion is supposed to work. If it doesn't FEEL right, somethings not right, whether or not you attend the same church is a mute point. You're more or less not having the same EMOTIONAL feelings he may have - say something, maybe its a relationship that has simply run its natural course.
@eciila@xanga - @MiSS__NARA@xanga -
My bad. "Christians shouldn't lie."
I guess what I should say is that there's no excuse for lying- in a sense that certain Christians believe in the afterlife. Sooner or later, after rising from the dead, there won't be anything left to wonder about, including what one's been lied to about, because on Judgment Day, one will meet God . . . and the trial requires all insights and perspectives- on/from everything and everyone, in order for Him to judge the soul. If one can enter Heaven, the purgatory, or Hell . . . then emotions exist in the afterlife. So it can still be said that souls can be hurt after finding out the truth anyways.
This does not apply to non-believers.
Wait to see how deep the relationship begins to get. If you've been with him +6 months and things are going good,yeah you definitely should.
i don't think its his business. I think if he asks though you shouldn't lie. But why just come out and say it, you know what I mean? I feel like it will just bother him and put tension where it isn't needed.
@lforletty@xanga - that is just mean of him. Did he know you were NOT christian to begin with?
I think it shouldn't matter as long as he loves you. In the end, he wants to know the truth but only if he is ready for it. I might be too naive about the situation. i viewed it as different people have different perspective in life. I personally want to save it after marriage but if she doesn't then its ok because she is living the life she wants. I just need to ask myself if I can accept it and to what degree. Hope it turns out well for you.
Also, keeping your sex life from parents or friends is one thing.. but from a bf? Put yourself in his position, how would you like it if he wasn't a virgin but you were, and he kept this from you? Telling him now won't be as hard as if you told him much later in the future.
@SexyGamerGirl@xanga - And what if you loved that person but they didn't love you back and only used you for sex? Would it be considered to be beautiful then?
@ohletitbe@xanga - haha, I totally see what you mean about the leg, lol