Thursday, 25 November 2010
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Dying Together: Romantic or Morbid?
You may have a knee-jerk reaction and label me morbid instead, but I've been thinking about old, married couples that bail out on life together. Who else would you rather take to the tempestuous fires of hell if not your spouse? This British couple answered my rhetorical question by deciding that no one else was suitable for the journey. Joane Downes had mere weeks left to live due to terminal cancer at the age of 74. Her husband, Edward, was fully blind and could faintly hear the ringing of deafness knocking on his door.Although he was blind, he definitely was not blindsided by death. The couple traveled to Switzerland where assisted suicide or euthanasia is legal, held hands for perhaps the final time, and were clinically put to rest. In the U.S., doctor-assisted suicide is legal in Oregon, Washington and Montana. I'm no Doctor Kevorkian, but I believe people should have the right to assisted death if they're terminally ill. In fact, it's absurd that it hasn't been legalized in all states.
Legal issues aside, do you believe it's an act of romance, or do you find it to be morbid? What if a couple decides they want their bodies to go to a taxidermist, and remain positioned in a hug for an eternity? I'm so romantic.
If a museum is ever exclusively opened up to showcase "stuffed" humans in various positions, I'll be creeped out like fashionable alternative kids. Can you imagine there being a section for dead people in compromising positions? I imagine the future will be a necrophiliac's dream. Instead of digging up graves, they'll have access to private rooms where they can get off to porn stars who died at tragically young ages! This idea is a million dollar dream waiting to happen, and I definitely want no part in it. I think I'll be sticking to wax. Hah.
Now that I've frightened you with my overactive imagination, I would like to make a confession. I've watched The Notebook. Multiple times. That was also a really cliché thing to say.
The romanticization of death has been around in Hollywood for ages, and people have been conditioned to believe it's an act of romance to die with a partner in bed, or elsewhere for that matter. But is it really that romantic to have your eyes roll to the back of your head in unison? It's bad enough having eyes rolled at you while being alive, you don't need more eye rolling in death. Is the fear of death extinguished when you know you're going to cease to exist next to your life partner?
Religion will play a role in portraying death for many. The obvious questions arise, and living on in spiritual form or reincarnating are popular beliefs. Do you rise out of your lifeless bodies in spiritual form still holding hands, while drifting off to haunt assholes? What if you reincarnate as a disfigured child with two heads sharing the same body as a result of holding hands in death? That would mean that you're both now of the same gender, and can fondle each other in the same area.
I don't know about you, but this isn't sounding very romantic. Here's my conclusion: While not necessarily being morbid, I don't find the idea of dying together with assistance in a clinic to be romantic. However, I will say that dying together inadvertently is definitely romantic in some way. If both couples feel or know that their time is coming and make an effort to share their last days on Earth together romantically, the death will be romantic as a result.
Of course, none of this is as exciting or dramatic as jumping off of a cliff at sundown with hands held tight while being middle-aged and depressed. Would you support assisted suicide on younger people?How do you feel about it taking two to do the tango of death? Have you thought about this before, and if so, did you come to a conclusion? This definitely isn't black and white; it's alright if you don't have a stance on it or don't believe it falls under romance or morbidity. It's not okay, however, to fondle my body when I'm dead.
Sincerely,
Nuñez Death DoctorCertified with a PhD in Tomb Digging and Morbid Love.
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About the Author
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- From: AsylumBlue
- About Me: The musician in me is constantly dueling with my inner writer, trying to take its place. What I'm attempting to do is allow them to live harmoniously, but it seems that I'm a terrible peacemaker, because they haven't stopped bickering or flinging spit-balls at one another. I write political satire, short stories, poems and... actually, I can pretty much write about anything; I'm flexible (not physically, unfortunately). If I had to choose, it would be writing softcore romance novels full of seduction, extramarital affairs and incredibly specific details. I'm kidding about that last part, I think.
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True Lifetime
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Comments (23)
I just hope my fingers don't turn into toes like that when I'm old.
anyway.
I know that I'd like to die by euthanasia. If my mate would like to join me, I'd be cool with it.
weird.
This first part of this I agree that dying together can be satisfying to older people
The rest of the post was really stupid and I just stopped reading
I think that if people are terminally ill with absolutely no hope of recovery (old or young), they have the right to assisted suicide. I don't view dying with my significant other as romantic, just macabre. But then again, I'm 23 and somewhat cynical, and can't imagine actually wanting to die with someone.
that's mostly morbid, but romantic too. i love it!
"Can you imagine there being a section for dead people in compromising positions?"
There kinda is... There's a specific Body Worlds exhibit which features two plastinated bodies in a sex position. It's pretty gross.
I wouldn't want to die under that level of attachment to anyone or anything. I feel that it would hold me back spiritually, and cause me to keep reincarnating with the same person. I don't want to keep coming back, so I find it better not to have cravings and desires and attachments in so far as is possible. Some days are better than others.
In this case, I'd call it romantic. One of them didn't have much longer to live, and the other was looking at a serious drop in quality of life. In those circumstances, it kind of makes sense. It'd be unfortunate, though, if there's actually no afterlife. If there's just nothing.
i couldnt stand the thoughts of the person i love the most dying... even if their quality of life was diminishing.
since we're both going to HAVE to die... it'd be nice to die naturally The-Notebook style. But i could never go and intentionally let someone kill the person i love.
i don't necessarily view it as romantic.
however...... i'm ONLY interested in marrying someone i genuinely feel like i couldn't live without. so yeah, if he was going to pass away i'd want to die right along with him. why would i want to spend my life with someone i could easily live without?
My parents often say that in an ideal world, they would want to die together. I'd hate to see them have to live without one another, and maybe it would be nicer to say goodbye to them believing that wherever they are, they're together. But it would never be as straightforward as that and if it actually came to it, I'm sure I'd feel differently about it.
it isn't romantic. even if we're dying together and it is suppose to be a peaceful death, I'd likely be crying my eyes out the entire time
because one of us is going to die first even if it is a minute ahead and I couldn't bear to feel his lifeless hand drop out of mine. I'd be dead soon after but still
I think that it is romantically morbid, I guess, if that makes any sense.
it has happened countless times where one person dies and the other naturally dies soon after....like they just couldnt live without their partner.
if you spent your life by someone's side, could you live without them? i can't imagine it. after decades of waking up together each morning, how would a person live without their partner? for argument's sake, let's assume my husband and i had lived out a long and fulfilling life. after sixty years of marriage, it's about time to end our time here. maybe we're sick, maybe we're just old and tired. i'd sooner die at his side than face life without him. i wouldn't want him to suffer losing me, either! honestly, death is inevitable. may as well do one last thing together. i think taking the final journey together can be beautiful, and it's definitely romantic.
@ROASM@xanga - Agreed
@quasarglow@xanga - We can both agree to hope on that. Would you choose to die when you're older if you didn't have any terminal illnesses?
@ROASM@xanga - I like your blood-thirsty cupcake. What exactly did you find stupid? I'm curious.
@shinoseishi@xanga - It's not something most people want to think about, so it's perfectly understandable. God, this was a terrible thing to post on Thanksgiving, huh? Haha.
@zaichik@xanga - Someone should do a zombie remix of "Bad Romance" and title it "Morbid Romance" just for kicks.
@Diva_Jyoti@xanga - Ahh, I really like this reply. That's an interesting take on it. :]
@mademoiselle_rachelxx@xanga - I've spent more time than I'd like to admit wondering about life after death and if it even exists. Simply ceasing just seems a little too abrupt, but that may be my human desire to keep living on speaking.
@disorderlychina@xanga - That's a good point. I can't imagine how people come about these pacts to die together without refusing to let the other do it.
@too_pretty_to_die@xanga - Because you can marry rich! Aaaanndd...lose it all when you're dead.
@sophiekemz@xanga - That's a really heart-felt thought, and it almost seems peaceful to die together when you put it like that. I'm with you on really hating to see either one live without the other. The depression and pain must be unbearable which is why declining health tends to strike the survivor.
@P0RCELA1N_D0LL@xanga - Oh God, you're right. That would be incredibly depressing, as if it wasn't already. I wonder how they go about the timing of these things.
@queencleopatra702@xanga - Yeah, it's also exhibited in animals often, like dogs.
@badbridgett88@xanga - Awesome post. You bring up plenty of good points for the legalization of assisted suicide. These are things which need to be taken into consideration, and if I were in a similar situation where I lived out a fulfilling life with my partner, dying together would be a sensible enough thing to do. Like you said, suffering without the other would be depressing and painful to ends I can't imagine.
idk man........ive thought of that stuff.
it could be completely different of what we believe of it then when its actually happening. like marilyn monroe (you'd have to read her thing to understand) but i think its depressing to think that if we all die we never get into contact again.
i believe we all come together again tho; hell or high water
All I have to say is read "The Love Curse of the Rumbaughs"
There is something that touches within the heart of you if you have spent the greatest portion of your life inseparable from your spouse. Believe it or not, if you Google "phenomenon couple die simultaneously", you may [or may not] be surprised to discover that it's not so rare occurrence than you would imagine.
You might find this article interesting...
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26980587/ns/health-aging/
If my future husband was old but terminally ill and wanted the strength to end it without hanging on to life support, I wouldn't want to be selfishly hoping that a miracle will bring him back to life when he's in more pain than he should be have to deal with. That being said, if I was in that same situation, I would also like that option to having the right to end it.
I think the ending in the Notebook was romantic but it was also timely. Would you want to live in fear because you know you don't remember faces and things that are your loved ones? Would you want to keep reminding your love that you're not some psychotic killer sent out to confuse and torture her by being in your room at night?
Dying in one's sleep has been a rare gift/phenomenon that older generations seem to wish upon themselves and their loved significant person. But arranging our deaths because I could IS MORBID!!!!!!!! >.<
I woundn't commit suicide in any way shape or form no matter what. I've heard that in the Christian bible it says that if you commit suicide you go straight to hell. Now, I'm not sure if it;s true or not but I really don't want to risk it. Can't blame me, I think.
Hmm. I would think that I wouldn't want to die without my future husband because either 1. I'd be left alone without him, or 2. He'd be left alone without me.