Wednesday, 24 November 2010
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Is Marriage Becoming Obsolete? America Says Yes
Americans think marriage is becoming obsolete and old-fashioned, according to a recent MSNBC article about holidays and family time:
"As families gather for Thanksgiving this year, nearly one in three American children is living with a parent who is divorced, separated or never-married. More people are accepting the view that wedding bells aren't needed to have a family.
About 29 percent of children under 18 now live with a parent or parents who are unwed or no longer married, a fivefold increase from 1960, according to the Pew report being released Thursday. About 15 percent have parents who are divorced or separated and 14 percent have parents who were never married. Within those two groups, a sizable chunk — 6 percent — have parents who are live-in couples who opted to raise kids together without getting married.
According to the Pew survey, 39 percent of Americans say marriage is becoming obsolete. And that sentiment follows U.S. census data released in September that showed marriages hit an all-time low of 52 percent for adults 18 and over."
Do you guys think marriage is becoming obsolete? If yes, why? Do you think that children raised in a single parent home or in a home with non-married parents will be worse off then children raised in a home with parents that are married?
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About the Author
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- From: aotolife@xanga
- About Me: I am passionate about defending the true meaning of love which is all to often blamed as leading to such state of emotional and interpersonal ruin. I believe it is a big error to blame love for betrayed emotions or unhappy relationships, there should be no gray area as to what real love consists of. That's why I have partnered with relationships author Tapiwa Chitembure - together we hope to bring awareness to the issues that give love a bad name. Occasionally I write about other life issues as well.
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Comments (62)
I dont know. Some people dont believe in marriage, that's fine. I DO know that many people are waiting longer to get married because of work & school commitments. They have long relationships before hand & I think that's a good basis for a strong marriage. You know the person. That I'm certain of. I want to get married though.
I dont think kids raised by single parents are worse off that parents that are married. First off, many single parents arent single by choice. People leave relationships or die so it's not like a guy/girl wakes up with the intention of raising a family alone. You do what you have to do. My parents stayed together so "we would have both parents" & I think they should have divorced YEARS ago. They argued so much & so much shit went back & forth with me in the middle, it was ridiculous. My sister didnt get much of it because she was so much older & out of the house by the time some serious stuff happened. I was 17 when my mom & I moved. Having both parents is not all it's cracked up to be. My dad did his legal requirements & some stuff he wanted to do but when it came to stuff that was important to me or I wanted to spend time with him, I didnt get all that.
My mom did all the work & I came out perfectly fine. I didnt get in trouble with the law, I stayed in school & became a productive member of society. I've seen kids come from "traditional family homes" & grow up to be terrors. It's a case by case basis.
I suspect when there is enough data to do a proper longitudinal study, it will show that children who are raised in a stable two-parent setting -- whether married, unmarried, or gay -- will do better on the whole, emotionally and scholastically compared to children in a broken home -- whether those parents started off separate, married, or live-in.
I grew up without my dad (he left when I was about 9) so personally I wouldn't say I was worse off being raised by a single mom, but it was really really tough not having a father around. Now I'm married and we have our first baby on the way...marriage is hard, but I don't think any couple (or at least most) goes into it expecting to be just another statistic. In my opinion, kids are better off when they have both parents around, married or not :)
Well 39 percent isn't really AMERICA saying yes to marriage becoming obsolete. That's a minority of the population. The title is misleading.
I think that people don't value marriage as much nowadays, which is terrible, but I don't think the value of marriage itself is obsolete. I think it's a good thing and worth something. I just think that many people don't realize that.
I think teenagers need to learn THAT CONDOMS EXIST or keep their pee wee's in their pants or their legs closed.
Marriage should be about LOVE. It seems to me that love is seldom found these days, and I believe that is a massive fault of humanity. I believe narcissism and selfishness is growing with every generation.
Start to value love over sex and this won't be a problem. And yes, my opinion is biased by the fact that EVERY SINGLE ONE of my sexually active friends fron high school is either pregnant, or has already had a kid, by a father who they were unsure of (as far as relationships go) from the start. Sex isn't about love anymore. It's about getting one's kicks with a hot piece of a$$. Which is all fine and well, to a degree . . . and LONG before conception. I find it sick that people don't value comittment anymore.
With that being said, many individuals DO value love and relationships, only to find that their partner doesn't. Once again, sick. I will never bash single parents in general, because hey, many of them are GREAT parents. It's about WHO they are. But I do think those who just want to get laid, above all else, need to go back to Sex Ed. Some don't think. Some just do. And I think that's what creates problems. As for those who've been together for years and don't marry, I ask them WHY?! It's the Carrie and Mr. Big complex. If you're set for life, you're set for life. I say why not get married? My issue there is that I cannot comprehend trust with that big step vs. trust without that big step. Just seems like one foot out the door to me, but that's just my opinion, I suppose.
No, you will be forced. mwhahaha mawhahaha mwhahahah
I'm the only one. i am Satan. lol
They get to watch ths go down. I want to see all of you have no rights, no freedoms and ignored when you have serious issues. Putin get on the goddamn floor. Even though i can't feel anything because all my emotions are "sin." let's go and make me sweet and trashy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ev5lqcF815E
I wanted to be a prostitute because i can't find decent employment and everyone protests my "good" So whatever, I'll worship Satan since I am of the fallen. I mean we're on the same wavelength.
i need to get in better shape and a permit.
Not that with my lobotomy i want to do much.
that's a very sad statistic.
This is sad.
NO! I want a wedding, and a long lasting marriage, and babies to know that marriage equals commitment.
My parents divorced before I was born and, although I did not see much of my father, I would not have changed our situation even if I had the chance. Why? Because growing up with a single, hard-working mother has shown me the kind of strength a woman can have when she is able to stand on her own - and, trust me, it is AMAZING. Yes, raising a child with both parents IS ideal; however, parents who constantly argue does not exactly make for a happy household. Therefore, in that case, divorcing would probably be better for the child... as it was for me.
Just my two cents.
Church told me that I would be fucked up because I am raised by a single parent. They told me indirectly of course but told me none the less.
I don't think that marriage is becoming obsolete; I think that people have forgotten and/or are not being taught what it is. Then when they get married they have no idea what they are in for and when suddenly it gets challenging and difficult, divorce. We live in a culture of instant gratification, of "I want." This is incompatible with marriage which is about love, self-sacrifice, self-giving, patience and commitment of the whole self for as long as you live; these are totally contrary to the culture we live in. It is no wonder so many marriages fail. How are they to compete against an entire civilization that thrives on the total opposite?
It is sad that so many see this not as a challenge to seek an authentic understanding and undertaking of marriage but rather as "evidence" that marriage is an out-dated, old-fashioned institution that "obviously" has served its purpose and should be done away with.
I think marriage is the most beautiful of any human endeavor. Ever.
@CelestDiggory@xanga - I hope you are blessed with ALL of these things!!!!!!!
Marriage will never become obsolete in our life time. It won't even come close to being obsolete. Less important to main stream society? Yes. Obsolete. No way. There are way too many religious persons, including myself, of various different faiths who find marriage to be an important way of expressing their love.
It's not for everyone - and that's ok; but marriage will not become obsolete anytime remotely soon.
This is a classic case of facts not supporting the conclusion, and the author trying to shape public opinion to fit his/her own beliefs.
@katberg@xanga - I admire that you have a positive outlook on your own upbringing. The remainder of your reply leads me to observe that, growing up in a stable two-parent family might have given you a similar positive outlook on marriage.
I don't need a piece of paper to tell me how much I love someone. The only reason and I do mean ONLY reason I will ever get married is for the tax benefits and next of kin rights. If I love someone, its between me and them and those we love. The end. I want the government out of it.
@Ancient_Scribe@xanga - So very true
I was raised by my single mother but I still saw my dad from time to time. He was still in my life. It never really affected me too deeply because it was so normal for me. I don't think anyone is worse off than one another. It just depends on how they were raised and whatnot. I still want to get married (as my parents only got married because my mother got pregnant because of me at age 17) and that has not changed.
It just shows me that I have to be in a marriage for the right reasons and not for the wrong ones and realize that I have to compromise and be more understanding to make it work. I think people forget that over time.
Loving somebody has nothing to do with marriage. It doesn't mean you should be married. You can if you want to but you don't have to. I don't know. I don't care much for all the hassle when I've learned that there really is no 'forever'.
@Shinbi_Belldandy@xanga - That's right. Everybody is different. It would be interesting to see the social impacts this has as a result of our changing culture. Like for example, what will happen to the elderly, or sick, in the future with our fragmenting and undevoted connections?
Groucho Marx: " Marriage is a Wonderful Institution. But who wants to live in an institution?"
While the title is a bit misleading, I do think that there is a definite trend that is moving away from the idea of marriage. I think the controversial issue of gay marriage has, rightly, started to show that marriage isn't always conducive to modern thinking. I am all for gay marriage and love is love. Period.
But marriage started out as a religious ritual and people are starting to realize that that paperwork isn't necessary for having a long and loving life together with someone. People are also starting to become less religious than they used to be so the need for that ritual isn't as important as it used to be, either.
I think as long as the parents make an effort to show that the kid is loved and accepted, it doesn't matter what kind of a "family" they have. Everyone is different, and for some that means having a family without being married. That being said, I still believe in marriage and want to get married someday.
I think marriage was always unnecessary. I'm glad couples are starting to see that you don't need a piece of paper from the government to appreciate each other. I think there is a study that children raised by single parents are worse off than those raised by married parents, but you can think of many reasons why (less money coming in, the parents has to work more and sees the kid less, etc). Still, it really depends on the individual; statistics are meaningless to how a single child turns out. I also can't imagine that a kid raised by married parents would be any better off than unmarried parents that live together.
I don't want to wait to get married. I want to get married! All my peers are either married or engaged and they're all younger than I am! I feel like an old maid and I'm only 26. I've been with my boyfriend (who incidentally doesn't believe in marriage) for more than 4 years and we were engaged for over 2 years but I thought it was stupid to be engaged without ever getting married. I should've just gone full force and broken up with him entirely. He says that as long as we're together and we live together then we don't need to get married. But I think we DO.