Monday, 22 November 2010
-
So Maybe Arguing Wasn't the Best Choice
So a little while back I wrote a post saying not to be afraid to argue with your SO.
Well, I was wrong. Dead wrong.
The disputes I was talking about happened again, in the same week. And now we're into this 'talking' period. She told me today that she feels that we're slipping apart.We've got a lot going on in our individual lives at the moment. I'm applying for university, studying for SATs as well as helping my parents move out. She's busily studying because her exams are next month, whilst juggling her projects and other school work.We Skype a lot, but now she feels like she really doesn't know what to say to me whenever we start chatting. When I asked her why she feels like we're slipping apart, she says that "my head's a jumble, I don't know, it's just a feeling."
Personally, I thought we were doing okay (obviously my previous post suggests that). And she feels that she doesn't remember anything about me anymore.
I thought, sure we had a couple of disputes. Big ones nevertheless, but we talked it out. Now all I had to do is find the balance to give her space for her exams, while still being a part of her life. And I felt that a lot of this dispute and such are all based on feelings in her head.I'm flying over to her country to visit her end of this year, after her exams are over. I'm really really really hoping that by then, she and I would be A-OK again.
I've had a few options for what can happen next:1. We can carry on with what we've been doing, giving her some space, possibly trying to resolve this issue at the same time. Then eventually meeting up year-end.
2. Take a break. Like a complete break. She focus on her thing, I focus on my thing. The absolute minimum (or none) communication. Then meet up year-end and patch things together again.
Oh my gosh, I only have 2 options in my head? Man this is not good. Opinions please.
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: blimsiang@xanga
- Name: Bryan
- About Me: Urge to try everything at least once. Call me easily amused, but I just love living it up!
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 3 Views: 0 3881 Comments: 0 56 View all posts by blimsiang@xanga
Comments (8)
It's impossible to talk to walls.
just give her money and accept your love.
the second option seems like a mistake. i tried that when my boyfriend went to camp for a month and then as soon as he got back we broke up completely. try talking it out, and giving her space to figure it out.
She's cheating on you or genuinely doesn't want to be with you anymore. Just cut your ties and be done with it. If something's meant to happen in the future it will. Right now, you're not getting anywhere.
Love is never giving up.
Keep trying. Work to make it work.
And good luck.
@ernie4life7@xanga - agreed
Perhaps she needs space, but don't let her forget about you, on the same coin don't smother her. Just let her know what you're up to. Show/tell her you care (since it sounds like you do).
Other than that, I haven't really got advice other than if you really love this girl u need to remember to pick your battles wisely, and most of the time, asy husband tells me if it's not that big of a deal then it's not really worth the fight, he also says "it's better to be happy than right," an this has really saved us from having issues getting blown out of proportion.
Good luck
Something similar happened with my boyfriend and I.
I needed time to adjust to my new life situation before I could feel stable.We worked it out. That had more to do with me than him.
Do the second. Lose the pressure. Stop having long convo's on Skype. Just txt her every now and then to say you love her, and you support her. When you visit her, do some fun stuff first, re-connect and get to know each other again, before you do anything physical. If she still doesn't feel right, suggest breaking up, and if she accepts, move on, but stay in touch. If your in the same city at some point, who knows, but until then accept its over.