Sunday, 21 November 2010
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I'm Sorry, I Know You Love Your Boyfriend, But Please Shut Up About It.
Dear "Oh-So-In-Love Couples:" no one wants to hear about every juicy and romantic detail of your relationship. We single folks have better stuff to hear than your intimate relationship details. Listen up; we're not jealous, we're just disgusted. Every time we hear a detail that's too sweet, it doesn't make us tear up after hearing over a month of you repeating almost same things over and over-- it makes us want to throw up a little.
So, I have this friend. She's completely obsessed with her boyfriend. I love her like a sister, but after hearing almost two months of same crap, it has gotten on my nerves! I don't know how to tell her.
I honestly don't know what to do. I don't want her thinking I'm jealous, but it's like she's rubbing into my face that I'm single. I'm happy she found someone but honestly, I don't like hearing romantic details.
It was okay during the first month, but when you're obsessed all day everyday, there's something wrong with your head, sweetie. I have sensitive gag reflexes here. I don't want to ignore you, but honestly, there's no other choice but to do that.
So do any of you guys have this kind friend? If so how do you deal with these kinda people?
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About the Author
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- From: passionate_kisses579@xanga
- About Me: I'm a college girl who's trying to find the right path in life. I'm a hard working person who doesn't mind a challenge. I'm also caring, but I don't like anyone disrespecting me or my friends. I used to be shy, but now I'm more outgoing and outspoken.
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Comments (101)
I used to be completely obsessed with my boyfriend. For the first 2 years, definitely. He seemed to come up in damn near every conversation I had and I'd write all over my social networking sites how much I love him and all that other mushy crap. Haha. It's funny though because he and I were both way too controlling over one another and crazy, borderline abusive at the time.
We were kids though. Nearly 4 years later, I'm no longer obsessed and our relationship is pretty healthy. Haha.I hate it when it fills up my wall on facebook.
Even though single people like you might "just be disgusted" others are damn likely to be jealous. It's always that "grass is greener on the other side" bull skizzly. It's still the honeymoon stage, so they're likely to be nauseatingly obsessed with each other. Either deal with it until she shuts up herself or just change the subject while she's talking. Better yet, find something you're good at that she isn't and talk about that nonstop. Maybe she'll get the hint.
I'd just say "yes yes and yes..... and theeeeeenn??" every time if she told me so . LOL .
I have a friend who's doing this. It is very annoying, especially because she's all of a sudden become an expert on love and relationships, even though this is her first real one ever...
"I honestly don't know what to do.I don't want her thinking I'm jealous, but it's like she's rubbing into my face that I'm single. I'm happy she found someone but honestly, I don't like hearing romantic details."
Talk to her, and tell her exactly that. A good friend will understand.
Hmm. Well, maybe if you were a good friend, you'd just listen to her. I don't know about you, but when my close friends want to talk about something, I listen to them whether I like what they are talking about or not. They are your friends and you should always listen to every single thing they have to say. Golden rule, sweet girl. Don't you want your friend to be a good friend to you, too?
i think everyone knows someone whos like this. i had a friend who would call me at 11pm(im an early riser and sleep early) and talk 2 hrs about absolute nonsense about her bf. to be honest i didn really know how to deal with it either, except take her calls less frequently. i felt the same way. pretty darn annoyed and disgusted.
This is every one of my friends. I have to deal with this ten-fold.
Some girls, I try to just avoid the topic of their bfs. But some, I avoid all together because I am SO SICK of it being the only thing these girls care about. In truth, all my friends are boy crazy therefore, making me crazy. It's who they are, and I've been dealing with it for over 10 years now. But that doesn't make it less annoying.I didn't like it when I was in high school and it stuck with me. Even when I have my own boyfriends, I don't like hearing about other people's. Now, it's a little worse because I'm single and most of my friends aren't, but I was always like this.I can't stand it. This is why I hang out with my dude friends more nowadays, because they don't talk about their girlfriends ever."but it's like she's rubbing into my face that I'm single. "
Saying that shows that you are jealous. And the rest of the post shows that you're pretty bitter. Let your friend be happy ffs.
urgh, these couple on my facebook are always posting "juicy" and "smushy" posts to each other, and it's not the once or twice.. its like, constantly, every 2 hours!!
and they post about how much sex they have.. they have no self-respect. urgh.@fabolousclown@xanga - or just say to them "good for you, i don't care"
@retardtm@xanga - haha yeah yeah :D Better yet, I'd say " I know that hell yeah tomorrow you'll go for the same story. Could you just tell me another better fairy tale?"
I agree with your blog. Its not about jealousy (although couples would tell you that it definitely is!), its more about the fact that we just don't need to hear about it alllll the time. Why do they write on each others FB wall messages like "I love you so much" when you know damn well they're sitting together in the same room?
And then they might be so loved up, but as soon as the relationship ends they start to need you again.
Not all couples are like this - I know a lot of cool couples who save their couply stuff for when they're alone, and who don't segregate themselves from their friends, but there definitely exist out there many couples who fit into the category you've described, and they suck.
Im pretty sure that Im guilty of talking about my boyfriend way to much. Cant help it tho. Hes just that awesome lol
It's a common response to overwhelming feelings (good or bad) to want to share them with someone. It helps us process them, so I understand her wanting to talk endlessly about this guy she is newly in love with. I also understand your being sick and tired of it, totally normal and healthy as well.
It would be awesome if there were support groups for the newly in love, just like there are grief groups, etc. Anytime we go through a big life change,. we need to talk it out, but it's not appropriate or fair to expect everyone around us to be willing or able to listen.
There are times I've avoided friends going through certain situations (good AND bad) because I truly couldn't be there for them because of my own issues. And there are times that others couldn't be there for me.
She might take it the wrong way, but you have every right, and maybe even a need to say "I'm really happy for you, but I'd prefer to not hear so many details, etc." I've had friends tell me that too, and at first my nose was bent out of shape, but upon thinking about it for a couple days, I saw where they were coming from and we were cool again.
And it doesn't matter if part of your reason is jealousy, or feeling a little sad that you don't have someone right now. Those aren't feelings to be ashamed of. It's our actions we really need to keep a handle on.
Personally I think you sound a little jealous. But yeah just tell her it's getting annoying. She's going through a phase, soon se won't be as annoying if she's normal. If her boyfriend really becomes the only thing she can talk about permanently then just start hanging out with someone else. But yeah I've had a friend in middle school who would talk non-stop about guys she met over the internet and how they were the one and stuff. Half the time I think she was making the stuff up. I branched away from her because I got tired of that being the only thing she wanted to talk about. I didn't hate her or anything but yeah, people grow apart.
Thankfully I don't have many friends that do this. In highschool I did a little bit though, of course. I probably did those things in the first month or so but then you USUALLY calm the fuck down and are comfortable enough in your relationship that it isn't the center of every damn thing you talk about. I don't mind when people for example post status once in awhile about how much they love and appreciate their SO. I'm happy for them. But when they start talking to each other like 5 yr old's and getting so mushy it'd even make a loving couple going on 50 yrs puke, then I might say something.
@FreeYourFears@xanga - same convo all the time. You try it and see how it is sweetie.
@ROASM@xanga - all she cares about is him. I wish I was jealous but when I talk about my issues, she just says a few things, and back to her lovely boyfriend.Funny thing is her boyfriend gives me attention too and he gave me his number.
@summerdreams505Aa@xanga - I have tried it, "sweetie." Good friends listen no matter what.
@summerdreams505Aa@xanga - Ugh. Not only is she obsessed over a boyfriend but he's not even a good one. If I were you I'd try to have a calm long conversation about these issuses before you snap and say something way more harsh that you intended. She seems like she's got her head buried in the sand.
Hmmm. Usually people who are jealous hate to admit that they are. This post proves that point.
Sounds like my little sister. It's awful.
yeah... no i think you are jealous. a TRUE friend listens to whatever someone wants to talk about. the fact that you have a problem with a particular subject tells me you have a problem with her having a boyfriend, while you don't.
@FreeYourFears@xanga - Well, if it's everyday OMG I love him or like OMG guess what "BF" said. It's especially rude when she calls when she knows I have deadlines or an exam to study to tell me her stupid ass shit. It's annoying as fuck. If I didn't have any friends beside her or nothing better to do, I'd listen and want all the details, but if it's the same shit over and over and I got my own fucking problems it's rude and annoying.
@xx_x_beautifully_broken_x_xx@xanga - Well, I honestly don't have time to listen to her crap all the time. Espeically when she's inconsiderate and texts/calls me when I'm studying or working on a paper.