If you don't want to have to forgive your partner, don't, but don't go and marry them if you can't forgive. Don't marry someone if you feel they're not mature enough to treat you like you'd treat them, and don't marry someone if they don't have all of their issues in order. Marriage, in my opinion, requires the two partners to constantly forgive each other, even if it's for the same thing. That's what God calls us to do. Take the account of Hosea and Gomer in the old testament (you can read that in Hosea 1:1-3), Hosea never gave up on his wife. Similarly, the new testament also calls us to forgive our partner indefinitely, as seen by the account in Matthew 18:21-22. Jesus said "I do not say to you, [forgive] up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven." If we are pledging to love someone for better or worse, ideally we would forgive any offense, not just the ones we choose to forgive. I understand that a lot of people aren't religious, and I myself am not religious either, but I like those two bible scriptures because I find them to be true. I would want to be forgiven every time for things I commit that may upset my partner, like being sarcastic about a particular subject he's touchy about, or if I lie to him, etc. If you just don't like my way of thinking simply because I took it out of the bible, then at least extend forgiveness because it's how you'd like to be treated. I know that there are many offenses that seem unforgivable, but if we are adult enough, mature enough, and serene enough to persevere through the relationship, have the determination to forgive and work through our issues, then unconditional love and forgiveness are a no-brainer. 

sometimes it is possible to forgive, but one shouldn't forget, i should say. if it becomes a repeat offense of something important, he simply doesnt deserve the relationship. forgive him, but that does not mean to continue to pretend you are happy.

I think you are spot on, look at those patterns, at the overall dynamics. I ignored such patterns for way too long, thinking I was being loving, unconditional, understanding, blah blah blah...what I was being was a paranoid doormat housekeepercookbedwarmer for someone who had lost love, respect and care for me.

The same pattern was emerging in my son's marriage. I said to him "be careful which dynamics you set up in your relationship, because they aren't going to change"...several months later they separated and he is MUCH happier.

I don't believe there IS unconditional love outside of a parent's love for a young child. Nor should there be unconditional forgiveness outside of that sort of a relationship. Each partner in a relationship, be it romantic/sexual or friend/family member should reciprocate to the degree they are capable of.

Also, you can forgive a person, but move on. Forgiveness doesn't mean you stay in the same style of relationship and keep taking what they dish out or going without. You can forgive them and bow out or move onto something better.

lol yes forgiveness is always unconditional ... till the next time..or even looks like the next time..or even if ya get a slight hint of next time ..or till one is just ticked off ...

Yes. Forgiveness is supposed to be unconditional. Forgiveness is for you, not for the other person. When someone offends or hurts you, they usually get over what they did a lot sooner than you do, so not forgiving them affects you more than it affects them. Forgive them for your own sake. 

That said, I once read that there is a difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. Forgiveness means releasing them of the emotional debt they owe you. Reconciliation means returning the relationship to the former status. If someone hurts you repeatedly, especially in the same manner, you have to decide: is it worth reconciling? Or should I let them go? At that point, the choice is yours.

Trust is a lot like a cracked mirror. You can still see your reflection, but you can clearly see the cracks. There is only a finite times of mercy before a person just gives up. Seriously, how long can one stand to be made a fool out of before he or she tires of it?

Mercy and forgiveness is to be a standard because we all fuck up; but continuous mercy and sympathy is a sign of total weakness.

I think that if someone's SO keeps on cheating, forgiveness can be given but that person doesn't necessarily have to stay in the relationship.  You can forgive and move on from the relationship.  Forgiving doesn't mean forgetting what someone has done; it means allowing that person and yourself to move on and having no ill feelings.