Tuesday, 16 November 2010
-
A Girl's Guide To Guys: What Men Want and Need From You
I've been holding off this post (and other blogs) for way too long. I'm going to cut to the chase, as I usually end up forgetting and abandoning posts before they're completed.
I know the ways of guys. I know their mind, their ideas, and most importantly, the secrets to what guys want from a girl. Let's begin, shall we?
Communication:
1. TELL THEM WHAT YOU WANT. There's nothing a guy hates more than having to guess what their girl want from them. Seriously, it's not grade school. They can't read your mind. They don't want hints or to play a guessing with it. Just out and tell them. Want to go out? Tell them. Want them to be more romantic? Talk to them about it.
2. Honesty. Don't fuck around with their minds, seriously. If you're just trying him on as a backup or rebound, don't tell them they seriously mean the world to you. You know it's bullshit. They might not.
3. Don't Get Pissed Off If YOU Did Something To Piss HIM Off. This just doesn't make sense, and it'll only make the guy even angrier. Instead, don't blame him for anything ridiculous, don't tell him to go jump in a lake. Instead, just calm down and talk it through like a normal person.
4. Just. Shut. Up. I know, as a woman, we like to talk. Seriously though, there's a time and place for talking, and that's NOT all the time. Men like quiet time as much as women like to talk. So, if you feel the need to talk, text a girlfriend, write a blog, but do something quietly if the dude you're hanging out with is not feeling the conversation.
Physically:
1. Don't Lead Him On. Body language can do a lot for some people. Don't make him think you're interested if you're not. What I mean by this is, don't let him get touchy-feely close if you don't want him to get anywhere with you. Don't make him think he's going to get any farther than what you're actually letting him. I'm guilty of this, I admit, but don't lead him to the door if you're not going to let him in. It hurts for the both of you.
2. Give Him Some Space. Black Ops just came out? Let him use the next two weeks to get in touch with his manly first person shooter side. In the meanwhile, go shopping with the girls. Have a meaningful conversation with your mom. Make a cake. Do something away from your honey, and when he finally gets over the ability to dive, he'll text you, and the time you spend together after the long time away will be great. And if you're not in a relationship with the guy, but are friends with him, do the same thing!
3. Food. If you have guy friends or are with a guy, there's nothing they love more than food and video games. So, lets say they just got Assassin's Creed 2, but you're not interested. Bake your guy friends some cookies, make em a tasty, healthy snack to keep their game faces on, or just get a bag of chips and dip and play with them! A key to a mans heart is through their stomach. Don't be shy with the sugar and salt. They like their food as unhealthy as their video games ;).
Emotionally:
1. Help Him When He Needs It. When your guy friend needs a hug or a shoulder to cry on, be there. If you're trying to get closer or you're just being a good friend, even guys need a shoulder to cry on. Don't be afraid to make that shoulder yours. He'll appreciate you more than just the friend that plays Halo and brings the snacks.
2. Don't Take Him For Granted. Guys have feelings, more than a lot of girls think. He knows when he's being taken advantage of, whether it be for his ultimate gaming system or hot friends. Don't use him, don't hurt him, don't make him feel like he's a doormat.
3. Guys Need Love, Too. Just because he's a manly, stinky hulk of a man doesn't mean he doesn't need a hug now and again. He might not show it in front of his guy friends, because that's how guys are, but he will need to be loved just like everyone else. May you be the sister-like-friend or the more-than-just friends, he'll need your love eventually. Last but not least,
4. Support Him. I cannot stress this enough. Men might be confident in their actions, but inside, they're faltering. Their dreams are real, just like yours and mine, and just because they're guys doesn't mean they're any more or less confident than we are. They'll need support in their actions. Don't think his dream of being in a heavy metal band are dumb, especially if he already knows how to play guitar and has practice three times a week. Instead, support him, and refer back to Food, except it's the band instead of video games :)
All guys are different. Although this might apply to most guys, others might disagree with the lot of this. Still, it never hurts to talk to them about it.
What do you guys think?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: CelestDiggory@xanga
- About Me: I'm rather interesting to a more tepid crowd.
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 4 Views: 0 16965 Comments: 0 229 View all posts by CelestDiggory@xanga
Comments (61)
physically #2 that is dead on
Common sense
And, we should expect these standards for ourselves too :)
OMG ACTUALLY GOOD ADVICE *faints*
This is cool, and you know what I want from a man? That he acts like a man, and lets me act like a woman. I don't want him to act like my girlfriend, I want him to act like my boyfriend. So I am cool with letting him play his video games, eat his chips and talk big, but sometimes act little like sometimes we all need to. Sex me up, snuggle up for a movie, and don't ask me what I am thinking unless YOU plan to listen...oh and men...don't act like you want to get physical if you don't because nothing pisses me off more.
Emphasis on FOOD! I'm starving like 24/7 ):
Everything is pretty dead-on though.
I don't agree with number 4 in the Communications section. Why should *I* have to be quiet, especially when we are hanging out? If a guy doesn't want me talking to him then he can just go away. What's the point in hanging out if we are just going to be silent the whole time.
It applies to both women and men in every spectrum of any relationship. I'd say this is the basic list of how to treat others in general.
I find it a little boring that the thoughts above has been [and seems like always will be] regurgitated amongst bloggers, as if the ideas were just recently discovered and their own.. It would be nice to see the content above expressed in a more original way.. possibly by adding personal stories.. or something that sets your blog apart from others-- because the above sounded exactly like a post I read last week, which also looked like a blog from last month... which came out from the article I read last yr, which was written verbatim from an old Cosmo magazine. (Sarcasm, but you get the drift)
nurture him like a puppy. don't yell at him, pet him and feed him cookies.
everything sounds about right to me, although most of it seems pretty common sense to me. for the most part, it's the way i would treat a friend, regardless of their gender; when it's a guy you're interested in, or have a "thing" with, there are a few extra things to think about, and you've pretty much hit them right on the head! if only guys would take all those things into consideration with us girls...
@Thumper49047@xanga - I agree. Very.
Communication - Just. Shut. Up
I disagree with this one.
If you or anyone feels the "need" to talk, your significant other should be there to converse with you especially if you're "hanging out" with him. You make it seems like it's okay for the guy to tune us out if he don't feel the conversation. It just sounds selfish.
Physically - Give Him Some Space.
I understand that everyone needs space, but two weeks is a lot of space if you're in a committed relationship with someone. Or maybe it's just me. Shrugs. A few days? Sure. Two weeks? Are we even in a relationship anymore? I don't need to be with my significant other every day or every minute, but it's nice to see how he's doing and what he's up to daily. It's a nice feeling to have someone who you care for check up on you and keep you entertained for a while.
@lovezpassion@xanga - I tried not to add personal stories because... I don't think I'm very interesting. But I could edit this to be more personal. I mean, I have a perfectly good reason for 4 in communication >_>
@P0RCELA1N_D0LL@xanga - Yes.
I think that I'm happy you posted this. And wondering why you didn't ages ago.
@jeezshoua@xanga - Agreed.
I was expecting some bimbo dumb bitch to put slop together some stupid shit that basically fulfilled every stereotype of boys, but I'm glad you proved me wrong. I agree with some posters on things such as number 4, but for the most part, I really enjoyed this list. It's not 100% follow-by-the-books, but I don't think that's what you were aiming for. Kudos to you - and I normally don't say that for a datingish post.
i like it.
I have a problem with number 4 in the communications, and number 3 in physical. I think there you played up the stereotype between men and women and that irks me so much, so I can't really agree with this post too much. I actually think it drags on.
And I think I might even have a problem with this whole list..as well.
@CelestDiggory@xanga - I think you are very interesting. I apologize if anything I said made you feel less so.
Post was a good read but have to agree with the points jeezshoua@xanga made though.
totally true. i've learned these exact same things through the years, but in all fairness, i grew up with boys and all but one of my friends are guys... so i'm able to get into the guy's mindset and i have some of the best guy advisors in the world cause they're all so different and i see how, even though they're all different, all guys think basically the same way.
however, i've also found out that most guys don't want to be left alone for two weeks if they care about you, whether it's as friends, brothers from another mother, or as a boyfriend. not unless they're super busy, and that's ok, because i've gone for a month ((or longer)) without talking to my best friend at all, and we can pick up right where we left off. so, guy friends can go a while without talking as long as you're just friends or more like siblings. but, if it's a boyfriend, i expect a little more effort because i dont want to feel like i'm not important to him. one week kind of pushes it, but after two weeks i assume we're just not even together anymore... and all of my guy friends agree that if a guy goes that long without talking to you, he's totally not interested in being more than a friend.
Mostly common sense. I like it.
All common sense things that can work for the opposite sex.
i just wanted to say good job. a lot of people are knocking it with "common sense" but a lot of people (and young teens just starting to date) don't have the best grasp of common sense-- and some older people forget this stuff too :)