Saturday, 13 November 2010
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Help! Does He Love Me, Or Just Want Sex?
Okay so I'm pregnant and the father is still with me but we've only been together nine months and I'm eight months pregnant. We don't go out on dates ever and all he ever wants is sex. Like honestly, I can be crying about something important and he will be like, "I'm horny, can we have sex?"
Sigh. He says he loves me and we live together but I'm on bed rest right now and the doctor recommends that I refrain from sex, so my boyfriend is getting angry with me. How can I tell if he loves me or is just using me?
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About the Author
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- From: prego93
- Name: Bailey
- Location:
- About Me: im pregnant and engaged
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 1 Views: 0 6842 Comments: 0 60 View all posts by prego93
Comments (59)
Sound like he's using you to me hun but I'm not him either so. Try talking to him. Hope this helps and good luck.
Um... I really don't know enough about your situation to tell you, but if he's getting angry because you can't have sex and you're nine months pregnant, I'd be careful. He doesn't seem to be very understanding, and may not be mature enough to be a good dad.
I'd suggest talking to him...but more than likely I agree with @prettynpink628@xanga - and I agree with @XxDying2BePerfectxXx@xanga - sounds like he's using you. But to really know..I'd suggest talking to him and I can't stress that enough. But more than likely..you already know.
"We don't go out on dates ever and all he ever wants is sex."
I think you've already known the answer to your question.
I agree with all of the above.
I'm sorry to say but he is using you for sex....judging by all he says is that he's horny and you two never been on an acutal date. If you want a relationship I suggest ending whatever you have with him, other than him being the baby's father. And if he doesn't care for your or the baby's health, then he is probably not worth having around as a father.
This makes me infuriated. Not just because of the father of the baby treating you like this, but your own inability to realize what is going on.
Of course he's using you for sex. I don't know why he's using you for sex, or why he hasn't bolted yet, but for the most part, if he's getting angry at you when you're in a position where you and the babies life's are at risk, then there's something wrong with him.
If he is thinking about sex when you are upset, or trying to talk to him about something, then clearly he is not interested in you enough to care about what's going on, and the two of you do not know each other to have a healthy relationship at this point.
I would say talk to him about how it makes you feel, and ask him why he does it. Maybe he will come up with a logical answer, but I just suggest you get yourself out of the position before you end up raising a baby in an inappropriate environment.
@TequilaKisses@xanga - exactly.
Unfortunately, you seem to have answered your own question. The next step is being honest with yourself about it... and, more likely than not, breaking up with him. (Trust me, it's better for a child to be raised by a single parent than it is for them to be raised by two parents who don't have a healthy relationship.) Best of luck to you.
I have to agree with @drunkdevotchkababy@xanga ...I hope things work out for you.Â
He's angry with you for doing what the doctor told you to do for your own health and safety???? He doesn't love you and he's not a good person.
He's mad at you for sustaining your health? He doesn't care that much about you if he's going to get mad because you need to be on bed rest. You need to do some serious evaluating of this "relationship" of yours, because he clearly doesn't give two shits about you as a person if he's going to insist on sex and get mad when he doesn't get it for the sake of yours and your baby's health.
I hate to say this and sound bitchy about it... Im pretty sure you KNOW the answer... Not only is he using you for sex, but he's probably only still with you BECAUSE you're pregnant. If the man doesn't care enough about your health (And your child's - also his child - health!) to understand that you have to refrain from sex right now, then he doesn't care about you! The real question you should be asking is, "How fast do I get this pos out of here?" Im sure you have this little nagging voice in your mind that is saying things like:
I cant do this alone.
My child needs a father.
What about paying the bills?
Well, honey, there is this thing called child support. This man sounds like a douche bag. You and your baby don't deserve that. I wish you the best of luck. Congrats on the pregnancy btw also.
You've answered your own question. What ticked me off wasn't what the guy did to you, but is the fact that you don't have the capability to understand that he is using you for sex. It's more obvious than knowing that pigs can't fly unless you bounce them off a trampoline.
@PseudoEuphoric@xanga - No, that's what I was thinking too. :S
I'm on bed rest right now and the doctor recommends that I refrain from sex, so my boyfriend is getting angry with me.
this part is far more telling...
If you have to ask, the lose of trust and security for the relationship is already slipping. Communication isn't the solution to everything but...talk to him. You feel like your just in it for sex. Its gonna hurt if your wrong or right, don't blame yourself if he wants to leave because of a simple question.
Its a question, a simple one, being insulted by it is sad.
just a recommendation here for ya... stop making love now coz u r eight months pregnant already! ur man may be a responsible man since he's still with u in this situation, he may be just obsessed with sexing (n in this situation, he shd b the one to go for a doctor, not you!) try to be optimistic and think positively, negative thoughts will hve negative effects on ur baby.
However, no matter what, PUT URSELF n UR BABY IN THE PRIORITY, dun ever wish to rely on a man, that will make u better even when the worst happened.
@beckieintoyland@xanga - oh yea, that could be a good solution too. single parent is fine!
agreeed
I noticed in your info section that you are pregnant and engaged....so you're fiance is acting like this?
I don't know about you, but when I get engaged, I plan on saying yes if I believe I will be with that person forever. Why did you say yes if you are having these doubts? :/
He might be using you cux you said he never bring you out for date and never hear you talk... I mean which kind of boyfriend does that ?
Maybe You should leave him cux i think single parent is fine or maybe you could talk it out with him...
But whatever the thing is , it is between you and him and I'm only giving advice so yea...
idk, sign up for the dr.phil show counseling.
I hate to be this person, but if you have to ask, especially on a site like this... then you already know the answer. It's just sex.
I'm not going to try and make you feel bad, because your situation will be a roller coaster without the added stress of a horny little boy added to the mix, but a being pregnant a month into a relationship is never a good way to find father or even solid relationship material anyway.
If you want to make it work, attempt to talk it out, but do it before the baby comes. Once your little one comes home, even happily married men FREAK OUT and there's a lot of heavy adjusting to do on both ends, so relationship mending is going to take a back burner quickly.
I wish you the best. :)
@PseudoEuphoric@xanga - Hahaha, I did, but I made my best attempt at an honest, non bitchy answer anyway. You never know around here. XD