Tuesday, 09 November 2010
-
Just a Quickie: How Responsible is a Drunk Person for Their Actions?
My boyfriend told me that if he were to drink at a bar, without me, he'd be susceptible to being seduced by other women... and do 'stupid things' that would make me upset.
I'm not of legal drinking age in the US, so I can't join him, but I shouldn't have to keep my tabs on him in the first place, right?
Is being drunk ever an excuse to be unfaithful to your partner? Have you held a drunk person accountable for the stupid or hurtful things they've done?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: BlehhItsTu@xanga
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 2 Views: 0 6622 Comments: 0 131 View all posts by BlehhItsTu@xanga
Comments (82)
Oh please. Biggest load of shit ever. If you can't drink without being irresponsible, don't drink. It's just an excuse for people who have no control over themselves.
BTW that is blatantly disrespectful towards you for him to even imply that.
It doesn't matter HOW drunk I am, if I'm not unconscious lying on the floor and I truly am in love with (or even care a lot about) a guy, you will not find me gettin' it on with some rando.
@BingleBot@xanga - I pretty much agree. It takes a few drinks to get drunk. A person should know their limit and stop at that limit, or don't drink at all. You don't need alcohol to become less inhibited, have fun, get a high in life, or to simply escape. This is what drinkers don't understand.
Agreed. It is an excuse, and he is probably planning to use it in the near future. Dump his ass.
What's his motive for going to the bar and getting drunk? Seems like him telling you this is a pathetic way to shirk responsibility for pre-meditated cheating. Just my opinion.
@BingleBot@xanga - Agreed.
Obviously if he's going to imply that..it means he might not be quite serious with you or take the relationship seriously. If I ever had a bf even say that...I'd probably break up with him, I would. Because if he thinks like that..
it's no excuse.Cheating is cheating. There is no justification for it.
No. You're just as responsible for things when you are drunk as you are when you are sober. That is part of drinking alcohol. You need to be responsible to do so.
I give people a certain amount of leeway when they're drunk, but if they go too far, yes, I will get upset. My friends like to pick arguments when they're drunk and I'll forgive them. Cheating is something that I won't forgive, even if he's drunk.
depends how drunk they are, sorry but for all the people who said no the truth is they've just never been drunk enough
but with that being said-- he should never get to that level at a bar and he knows to control his drinks and just have fun with his buddies because he has a girlfriend.
only scumbags use that excuse and I'll hold him accountable.
My boyfriend assures me that no matter how drunk he is, he could never hit on or be seduced by another woman because he loves me too much to do that. In his case, he values being faithful and our relationship so much, and being loyal to one person is so much a part of who he is, that no matter now intoxicated he is he could never violate it. Your boyfriend on the other hand sounds like your relationship and being loyal aren't a big part of who he is and how he wants to see himself, so subconsciously, he might be more apt to cheat when the circumstances allow him to be more impulsive. It doesn't mean he will or that he doesn't care about you enough not to cheat....it just means that this value is not at the core of who he is and he may have subconscious feelings contradicting that value.
@BingleBot@xanga - This is all that needs to be said, really. Nailed it.
No, it's not. You are responsible for choosing to drink. And if you choose to drink, you are responsible for whatever happens. You are aware that alcohol can cause you not to think clearly. And use it as an excuse to do something is completely idiotic.
Bullshit. If he's truly that out of control when drinking, he would be courteous and respectful of you by, uh, NOT drinking. If that's not actually the case (and I'm guessing it's not) he's just using it as an excuse to fuck around. If getting drunk makes you cheat (and um, it doesn't, being an ass does though) then you would logically choose to stop drinking if you ever had hopes of maintaining a serious relationship.
they are equally responsible.
i DO, however, believe that someone who screws up while under the influence is more deserving of forgiveness. a few weeks ago, my SO and i got wasted. the next morning, i woke up on the couch and he woke up in my bed. we have no idea why we would have gone to bed separately, but we assume it's because we were fighting.
What a bullshit excuse! Dump him before he does something inexcusable, hon.
@GagaMonster - i definately agree with you i think it needs to be wholly ingrained within you to every degree with nothing conflicting
also i was talking about the responsibilty question not your last question (which is inexcusable)
and i think maybe he shouldnt be drinking like a single person, because theres a single way of drinking and a non single way and he should just be mindful until he gets his head on straight
i dont automatically think hes a jerk though, because people need to have very strong relationships or very strong values to get through some stuff- ive never cheated because i just never would but the thing about drinking that a lot of people fail to understand is that you need to be ironclad with either your beliefs or your love, because any passing fleeting thing could turn really bad because you're running on the subconcious-- which is why he should be controlling his drinking
even though a person might not be responsible, i still hold them accountable, because even if someone just said something- its coming from somewhere and that doesnt change the fact that it was said
You make the choice to drink, you deal with the consequences. You make the choice to drive without a seatbelt, better hope your head's harder than steel and glass. You make the choice to fuck without a condom, you'd better be able to face a pregnancy. You make the choice to say fuck school and drop out for no good reason, you deal with being behind and working a job you'll probably hate.
So, no, it is no excuse. Why is this even a post?
thats just going to be his excuse for whats about to come...everything that happens in the dark always comes to light. be careful of this one.
The fact that he said it is more of an issue than the fact that it could happen. It's pretty much known to everyone that really drunk=bad choices. But if he's bringing it up, he's probably going to use it as an excuse in the future. I've been really drunk, and I never thought about what might happen if I got that drunk beforehand. For example, I got so drunk once I got into a physical fight with someone I care very much about. Sober, we'd never physically fight. I'm not a violent person. So I never considered that I might hit him if I got drunk enough and he pissed me off. Had I thought that was a possibility, I'd never have gotten that drunk (at least not with him, knowing his tendency to pick a fight with me when he's drinking). So if your boyfriend thinks he might cheat, the obvious answer is for him to not get that drunk. If he refuses, he's either got a drinking problem or he's looking for a reason to cheat.
He's entirely responsible...it was his choice to get drunk in the first place. And it's not like a girl's gonna read his mind and know that he has a gf.
@wideopenskies@xanga - Take a look at everyone's answers- they're not all the same.
If they're dating someone, a drunk person should be responsible enough not to get so wasted they can't control their actions. I might even dare to say that a single person should also stick to that. :)
wow. dump him, find a real man :)