Tuesday, 09 November 2010
-
We Can't Date: Your Taste in Music Sucks
Baby, If you can't read my "Poker Face", there's no way I'm going to "Dance in the Dark" with your "Yellow Submarine." Go somewhere else with your "Norwegian Wood", "Alejandro."Is musical taste a deciding factor in your quest for a potential mate to divorce further down the line?
Some people will allow music to define them, so it's perfectly understandable if you don't want to date a Sublime fan due to his/her potential love of pot. It's also reasonable to decide that an Insane Clown Posse-listening Juggalo/Jugalette isn't for you because you're not a clown fetishist. Music and fashion are synonymous, so usually what you listen to will reflect what you wear, as an expression of the self.
You may have concluded that you just can't relate to lyrics such as, "Ain't got no care in the world, but got plenty of beer/Ain't got no money in my pocket but I'm already here/And now the boys are lining up 'cuz they hear we got swagger/But we kick 'em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger" so being forced to listen to Kesha by your significant other may lead to bitter arguments about the pros and cons of looking like Mick Jagger. Trust me, you don't want to go down that lopsided road.
Some couples compromise or are considerate enough to listen to their music of preference in private, while others bicker and put one another down over their taste in music. In theory, musical preference should never determine the viability of a relationship, but it happens more often than you think.
There's a reason why people in certain music scenes will usually stick to dating within it. It's also easier to meet and relate to people who listen to the same or similar music, and it works well as an ice-breaker. The other day on the train, I approached a girl wearing a hoodie with the name of a great band emblazoned on it. After striking up a conversation, she quite clearly wanted to dry-hump me because I knew who this band was.
It gets deeper than what I've already mentioned, though. It can be a deal-breaker if you're offended by music that objectifies women and glorifies violence. Or Perhaps, you're offended by the sound of wailing saxophones taking a proverbial diarrhea all over your sense of hearing. No matter what the case may be, it's preferable to avoid having to deal with it altogether if you ask certain people. Personally, I know I would definitely file for divorce if my future wife had a habit of playing her Celine Dion records every Sunday morning. In fact, she would be lucky to leave with nothing but divorce papers.
Is music a big deal to you when it comes to selecting a partner?
I'm open to every genre of music, and have a vast knowledge of music to boot. In my relationships, I get my partner into new music and it always works out well for me. I understand that a good portion of people aren't as dedicated to music as I am, and that's not a bad thing at all. We all have different priorities, such as writing about underage girls and avoiding the cracks on the sidewalk in my case.
How do you deal with partners who don't like what you listen to? Is it even an issue to you?
Tune in next time for PART II: Electric Boogaloo
Sincerely,
Nuñez Love DoctorCertified with a PhD in Trashy Musicians and Clown Sex.
Image Source Image Source
Related Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: AsylumBlue
- About Me: The musician in me is constantly dueling with my inner writer, trying to take its place. What I'm attempting to do is allow them to live harmoniously, but it seems that I'm a terrible peacemaker, because they haven't stopped bickering or flinging spit-balls at one another. I write political satire, short stories, poems and... actually, I can pretty much write about anything; I'm flexible (not physically, unfortunately). If I had to choose, it would be writing softcore romance novels full of seduction, extramarital affairs and incredibly specific details. I'm kidding about that last part, I think.
-
True Lifetime
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 100 Views: 0 661966 Comments: 0 6839 View all posts by AsylumBlue
Comments (68)
Nope, couldn't care less. As long as they're OK with me making fun of their shitty taste in music, we're cool. They can make fun of mine, too. Don't care.
Most rap is a big no-no for me. Like you said, what with the objectifying of women and such. It sounds trivial, but to be honest, I don't think I could be with the type of person who enjoys that kind of thing. Even if they were a really good person, I would feel offended everytime they listened to it, and most likely feel some sort of (possibly irrational) suspicion that they actually agreed with these kind of offensive views.
It's not a deal breaker, but I will relentlessly make fun of my girlfriend if she listens to Owl City.
It's not too much of a big deal to me (unless it really is something I can't stand.... like Kesha). I still try to keep an open ear to my partner's taste in music. If she is willing to sit through my music, I should be willing to sit through hers. And, sometimes, you might have to put down a rule that if either one doesn't like a certain type of music, don't play it around each other. I've had friends who got into really huge fights with their SO because their SO wanted to play country in his car, but he can't stand country and said no.
But.... it would be the same thing as someone who ate meat that dated a vegetarian. It's a matter of if the couple is willing to work around each other's tastes (no pun intended.... okay, maybe a little).
As someone to whom music is very important, I would love to have a boyfriend who would go to concerts with me. My ex wouldn't go with me to a lot of shows, and he'd get pissy and jealous when I'd go with other friends (guys, I don't know any girls who like the same music I do). Alas, there aren't many metal heads in a graduate program in literature here.
Two of my three exes haven't been into the same music I like. I listen to music all the time, so it's not like being with someone who doesn't dig the same stuff I do is that big of an issue, but damn, it would be nice.
Also, I really dig black metal, which is probably horribly offensive to a certain group of people, so I suppose it does put a limit on who I will date.
music was one of the reasons why i first fell in love with my [soon-to-be-ex] crush
cus like, music let me discover a sentimental side of him...
like, it really depends on the music. i like ppl who enjoy listening to really emotional love songs.
I like love songs sung by male singers. I can't stand most female singers, except for mariah carey.
I agree. music taste is HUGE. it was wonderful when an older man I dated as a 20-something turned me on to classical music (I went to indoor and outdoor concerts for the first time in my life!). But at home, there was quiet, just like at my home. Sure, I like to listen in the car, to pass the time, but music isn't a big part of my life.
When I find out someone is into head rocking louder than loud music at home, it's either over, or he adjusts, to me!
It's not really a deal breaker for me but it's nice to have the same musical interests. My fiance and I can go CD shopping, talk about bands, and go on long car rides without wanting to kill each other.
Idk...I feel like someone gets big bonus points if they share the same taste as me. Me and my ex always fought for control over the radio. Our tastes are really different so it did frustrate me...but it wasn't a deal breaker.
I agree. music taste is HUGE. it was wonderful when an older man I dated as a 20-something turned me on to classical music (I went to indoor and outdoor concerts for the first time in my life!). But at home, there was quiet, just like at my home. Sure, I like to listen in the car, to pass the time, but music isn't a big part of my life.
When I find out someone is into head rocking louder than loud music at home, it's either over, or he adjusts, to me, lol!
for me, they have to like my kind of music and I should like theirs, because I'm always going to be blasting it in the car :)
I have never had such different music tastes with someone than I do with my current boyfriend. We basically can't stand each others music. To deal with it we've both tried to find the most bearable music within each others genres and alternated listening to that while around each other. It definitely isn't a deal breaker. We like each other enough that our taste in music doesn't matter.
I have a very eclectic taste when it comes to music so chances are I'll be able to like something that my partner likes. It's not a big deal to me if we don't have the same taste in music unless he's always making fun of me for it or constantly trying to convert me to his music. That just screams controlling and judgmental. We should be accepting of our differences and not shame our partners into being robots who only like what we like.
So if it's a big problem for my partner that I don't like the same type of music or that I like so-and-so artist/band, then it's definitely a deal breaker if he makes a big deal over it. However, I wouldn't dump him or cross him off my dateable list just because we don't like the same music. That's what headphones were created for!
@laytexduckie@xanga - Pretty much what I was going to say.
Lol It's not a deal breaker for me..because I can try to keep an open mind.
If my partner plays shitty music at full volume, and refuses to turn it down, its going to cause some difficulties. If they wear earphones, that's fine. So yes, it would cause issues if there is no compromise, and could be a deal breaker, as silly as it sounds. When I'm playing my music, I'll never play it loudly unless I'm alone or something.
hmmmm, ive thought about this. NO its not crucial i wont NOT give you a try if your taste in music consists of old school backstreet boys, sublime ALL the time, etc etc...but as dorky as it sounds...i think music is kind of defining. it gives me an insight to who you are, what your like, WHAT you like.
so if im all about indie alternative and your listening to musicals...we might clash....OR it could be the best of both worlds and i could learn to love it.
:)
i went through a NIN phase. when i met my SO, he told me he HATED that band (and that genre in general) and said it was a deal breaker. i chose him over some stupid band. in contrast, i would never date someone who is very into hip-hop or heavy metal, more so for the culture surrounding that genre than the music itself.
out of all the different interests, music is probably the least important for me. i'm far more into literature, film, art, theater, etc. but even then, if you really do love someone... are you really going to cast them aside because of a band, actor, writer or artist you've probably never met? which is more important to you?
I could care less, unless they're a dick about it.
I wouldn't ever date someone who is completely into music that is about hatred or violence directed toward any minority.
I don't think it would be a deal breaker, but it is definitely a factor I like to consider when looking for guys. I dated a guy who had really similar taste in music to me and it was so enjoyable to drive around with him while listening to music that we knew we both had a connection to.
And while I am pretty much open to all music genres, I admit that I am not a fan of a lot of techno music, music that consists of people constantly screaming, and most country, so if I dated a guy that only listened to this music, it would get on my last nerve very quickly.
I'm still waiting for the day when I find a guy who shares my love of Ryan Adams/Ryan Adams and the Cardinals or Ben Folds/Ben Folds Five... it has yet to happen, but I haven't given up yet!
It is surprising how big an ice-breaker someone's music tastes can be. I hate to admit it, but its the main factor in how I ended up dating my current boyfriend. Who else can I sit on the couch with, drink a couple of beers, and debate which of Tom Waits' albums is the best?
Normally things like that wouldn't matter, but seeing as a I spend most of my free weekends at club shows and/or large concerts, it would be nice if the person I go with cares about the music just a little bit.
I think there is more to music than actual music because some styles of music have a style to them like hip-hop, punk, rock and so on.....So I think it can affect my choice of a a potential partner. I won't date a guy who wears baggy pants, and that hip hop attire.
My boyfriend likes disco. Â One of my best friends loves metal and rock, and the other has a penchant for Japanese pop bands. Â Another of my good friends listens to a good bit of rap and hip hop. Â Me? Â I mostly listen to techno. Â My life is basically a cacophony of music genres, but I really wouldn't have it any other way. Â I kind of enjoy never knowing what shuffle will bring up next.