Saturday, 06 November 2010
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Excuse Me. You Want to Do WHAT With My Boyfriend?!
I need some advice, but first I'll lay out the facts for you:
I have been dating my boyfriend for almost two years, and we've seriously contemplated marriage. He has cheated in the past, but he truly regrets it and we have worked out the majority of our issues. Except that my boyfriend's best friend is a bi-sexual girl.
I used to be friends with her (before she knew him actually) but through a serious of unfortunate events, our friendship ended.He recently realized that he has feelings for this girl. When he admitted this to her (after discussing it with me first) she admitted that she also has feelings for him. Regardless of this, they decided to continue their friendship as though nothing had happened.
It was his best friend's birthday recently.
For her birthday present, she wants to go with him to a town about an hour away, go shopping, go to dinner, then go to a strip club and then get a hotel for the night, since it will probably be too late for them to drive home.
I was not invited to this shindig, as she wants it to be "just the two of them."My boyfriend insists that if I truly trust him, that I will be okay with this "present". However, I need a third party viewpoint, and if there are any male readers out there, your opinions would be especially valued.
Am I overreacting by being upset about this? or is my anger completely understandable?
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About the Author
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- From: dynamicstars@xanga
- Name: dynamicstars
- About Me: i'm a 22 year old graduate student at a small college in the midwest. i usually manage to hide my inner child behind a remarkbly adult-looking facade, but at times it slips out and dances wildly on tabletops.
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Comments (371)
FUCK THAT. I wouldn't stand for such bullshit. Don't be naive.
OH. HELL. NO. haha. I'm clearly not a male perspective but this would not go down well AT ALL with me. He has FEELINGS FOR HER!!!!??? And expects to spend the night with her, ALONE. Ha yea, don't trust that one bit.
Understandable. Not okay.
I wouldn't tolerate that! Im already uncomfortable with my boyfriend's bestfriend, if i knew they had feelings for eachother and wanted to do such a thing.. that wouldn't go down with me. stand up for yourself woman!
Yeah, even as trusting as I am, I give a big "no" to that.
I sent this link to my boyfriend, and he said the same thing haha.
Yikes! Just like the girl above me stated, FUCK THAT SHIT. Dump his ass, please. The "if you trust me" line is full of bullshit. I hate that line for many reasons. It's obviously sneaky. I am in shock a guy would do such a thing to his girlfriend of 2 years. Shit, I don't even know this guy (or you) and I am enraged. enraged, I tell you. Wow. Gahh!
You should have dumped him when he cheated on you. This is just stupid.
You have every right to be upset, and he can't really use the whole "Well if you trust me..." since he's already cheated in the past. I know you mentioned you guys have worked through that and that he regrets it, but it still happened, and now he wants to stay the night in a hotel with another girl that he's already admitted that he has feelings for and has feelings for him?
Umm... c'mon, lets do the math here. Maybe your guy really is a great guy and does truly regret it, and it takes some balls to admit that he has feelings for someone else, but it's just putting everyone in a bad situation. He may even go into the trip planning on doing nothing, but when the situation presents itself it's sometimes hard to say no, seriously.But your foot down, and let him know you are uncomfortable with it. If he honestly gets mad at you for being upset and uncomfortable with something like that, it's kind of an asshole move and you need to do some serious re-evaluating in your relationship. Good luck!
nope.
ethier you go..or he doesnt.plain nd simple.
WOW. If you're going to let that happen you might as well break up with him now. Their relationship is entirely inappropriate already.
yeah. it'd be a big hell no from me if that was my boyfriend.
NOT okay
just dump him. his not worth your time...
Dump him. Just do it. You'll thank yourself for it later.
I hate to say this, but hon.. You need to break up with him and try to find someone better. This is not healthy at all for YOU, and you are the one who matters in this situation.
I will be praying for you, because I know this is a tough situation for you, but you need to move on =[.
Oh. My. God.
Seriously, think about it! They both have feelings for each other (then why are you with him?), and they want to spend a day together, and get a hotel room and they want it to be just them?! That slut needs to learn some boundaries, also. And he says "if you trust me," uhh from what I've read, he hasn't given you ANY good reasons to trust him. I personally would never trust my boyfriend if he admitted feelings for another girl.
yeah.... NO.
If you tell him how you feel about it, and he doesn't respect your perfectly understandable feelings and reaction...that is very telling. He is placing HER wants above yours...those are his current priorities.
Nuff said?
Your ENTIRE post was with just you telling us that "more than likely" your boyfriend is cheating on you with this bi-sexual girl.
Do you really need to make a thread asking for others to tell you how you should feel? You don't need a male's perspective or any other perspective for that matter when the answer is obvious.
um WHUT. RUDE. that was my response. tell him yeah i trust you...enough to know he's putting her wants before yours. this guy is not ready for a committed relationship. he's so off if he thinks this is how a relationship is supposed to work.
Hell no. If he respected you, he wouldn't put you in a situation where it would become an issue of trust. And your ex-friend sucks for even requesting that. Going to dinner in town, fine, whatever, it's a best friend thing. Or even JUST going shopping. But what they have planned sounds like a serious date. Honestly, if you know that they have feelings for each other, it's probably best to end it for your sake.
there something wrong with your boyfriend AND her. he shouldnt have liked another girl in the first place.
if i were you i'd make him choose, either you or her. or just straight up dump him.
anything that you are not invited to is NOT okay. in any shape or form. you need to tell him, in no uncertain terms, that this is NOT okay with you.
pulling that 'trust' bullshit is only to make you feel guilty, and its obvious he wants to go with her pretty bad, he is seriously not worth your time.
WOWWWWWWWWWW, FUCK NO. what. the. fuck. sorry, but, once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater. it's part of their personality. something they cannot change, and if they can, it's very rare. and with a situation like that, i can guarantee you he will cheat again. fuck that shit. i'd leave him for even TRYING to get me to let him do something like that. hah what an idiot.