Saturday, 06 November 2010
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Help! How Do You Get Over Someone?!
How do I try to get over someone? I know I will never be with him the way I want to be with him, or see him ever again--it's over for good this time.
Every time a new guy attempts to talk to me, I just keep thinking in the back of my mind it's really over with the one I truly want to be with, and I just get sad.
I've tried doing my own thing, but in my downtime he manages to slip back into my mind. I'm sick of thinking about him and I don't want to anymore.
Has there ever been a person you thought you could never stop thinking about but you eventually did? How did you do it? I still don't have a way yet (and getting under someone else does not help at all) and it's been months since I've seen him yet I still can't stop thinking about him.
I'm at loss. Can you please help me?
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Comments (83)
Get some hobbies. Eventually it fades with time. I know it sounds so cliche, but it's true.
Occupy your time with something that is time and mind intensive, like intricate jewelry making or something like that. Go out with friends. Stuff like that.
TIME. with time, you will get over him. trust me. it'll seem impossible at first, but it's true.
Get a rebound guy, don't see him, get hobbies and let time heal all wounds.
I know it's odd but you have convince yourself he's an asshole and not worhty of your attention (just don't go around badmouthing him, because that is such a TURN-OFF!)
I'm going through the same thing. At first I felt relieved because now I wouldn't need to think about him... but I feel like that's all I can do right now. Just occupy your time... only time will help at this point. We can say whatever we want, but in the end, you'll end up with the one you're supposed to have. :) Have faith.
they say the duration of a relationship is equivalent to the time it'll take a person to fully recover, but to each its own i'd say. if you have objects lying around that reminds you of him, then perhaps you should toss them away or put them in a box so they're not visible. as others have mentioned, it takes time, and occupying yourself with a hobby or sport can help, but in the end, he'll still surface at one point or another. don't feel bad for thinking about him, it's only natural because you're used to having him around, and trying to forget would only make the memories linger longer. take this time to get to know yourself better and re-evaluate the things that really matter to you. good luck.
Time.
time.
it apparently seems to be the consensus here.
Stay active. Make yourself too busy to think about him. Keep your focus elsewhere, as hard as that sounds.
A couple thoughts...time, yes. Hobbies, activities, yup. Faith, for sure. You keep investing in your life without him, no matter what, no matter how you feel, then when you do get over him/the relationship...you will have made some progress. even if it's only in material ways you can manage now, you will be glad you did those things when you are feeling better.
So paint your room, take a class, sew a quilt,or whatever it is you've had cooking in the back of your mind. And you will be that step ahead when the clouds clear.
But, if you truly CAN'T stop thinking about him/the relationship, like day or night. Like you are still waking up in the middle of the night with him on your mind, etc, etc...See a therapist, not because you are crazy, but if after months it is still that rough, there may be some underlying issues. Maybe he or the relationship represent some other issues or fears that you can address and move on from. This could be your mind's way of saying "hey, there is something we need to look at here."
Time and... you need to find other people and/or activities to distract you. Little by little, you'll move on. The world is bigger than you and him.
Next time you have a break-up, it won't hurt as much because you've "been there".
If you think not seeing him and missing him is bad....how would feel seeing him every other day and not talking????
The best thing is Time. It took me a Loooong time to get over my ex...but what did I do? I KEPT MYSELF BUSY. I participated in activities, HUNG OUT, FOCUSED ON SCHOOL WORK, etc. Do whatever it takes to keep your mind busy...don't let guys be the focus. You'll still think about him but in time, because you have other priorities and memories, you'll forget him and will finally be able to move on.
Don't worry, you can do it. I thought I was hopeless for a long time, but now I'm fine. Just do what you need to do and don't worry :)
Best to you ;)
Time + Another guy/girl
Cause really bad head trauma on yourself, and hope for a concussion/amnesia that erases most of your memories of him. If that doesn't work, uhh, just go with what everyone else said.
i wish i can give u some advice since it took a long time to get over my ex. but i don't you'll feel indifferent about him in time and itll be a good feeling.
rebound guy will not work. ive tried... numerous times. not something i recLast night i thought about my ex and was angry, so i went to the gym. Letting out the anger in a way thats beneficial to you (get an amazing body) is a better way to deal with the stress and sadness than crying (makes u look funny when u cry haha). Talking to friends helped me, my friend and i talked about my ex for hours last night and let me just get all my feelings out, thats what a bff is for :)
When you figure it out, please let me know.
If the answer really is time, then I wish I could just fast forward to the part where it doesn't break my heart to think of him.
I hope you feel better.
:( i understand how you feel ..........I'm still go thou this problem as well ....and the worse it I might have to see him tmr :( .......I'm so worry right now that I can't face him ...
I thought about all the mean things he said to me and began to hate him. then I started to like someone else. now I think about the new guy.
i have the same problem right now. he's with someone else now, and they both go to my school..
it's hard. but i know it'll get easier with time. keeping yourself busy with friends and hobbies will help. it's helping me. whenever i'm out and having fun i don't think about him. it's just when i'm at home and bored..
I actually work with my ex so it's like a constant reminder and we're having trouble getting over each other. Distraction and time will do the trick..
thinking of him doesnt mean youre not over him and that you still have feelings for him. right? anyway, distract yourself. do the things you like. hang out with friends. have a crush on someone? lol.
There is no concrete way or process of getting over somebody. There is no actual way - you just DO. Anyway, besides that, everything is based on how you are as a person and what you do. Some things like focusing on your own self growth, trying new things, meeting new people can help. It's also a great factor to not to see or contact the other party. All in all, you're just working into acceptance then finally moving on. I mean really accepting what has happened and telling yourself, "It's fine if it's like this."
i always think i'm over my ex yet i still dream about her on a regular basis...not intentionally, it just happens...what i did right after the breakup, was try to expand my horizons...i tried to discover as much new music, books, movies, etc as possible...anything differen, foreign, exciting, etc...and i hit a creative peak as far as making music, writing stories, making art, etc...
it worked but then i'll relapse every now and then...
so i don't know an exact answer...maybe it's possibly still holding on to the good things i experienced and saw in my ex...i haven't been able to meet someone new/be in a stable relationship, but my theory is that if i do, i'll probably get over her...
but from everyone i've ever talked to, a rebound relationship isn't a good idea...
so my longwinded advice would be, do what you've been wanting to do for a while now, yet haven't had the time (or energy) to do...whatever that might be...
I think it's when you realize that there's someone better out there. Everyone has a different way to figure that out tho.
"how do you get over someone?" one leg/step/stiletto at a time :)
make sure the hobbies you are pursuing are unrelated to your time spent with him.