Wednesday, 03 November 2010
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7 Signs You're Dating a Mama's Boy
After previously writing the article 6 ways to bond with your boyfriend’s mom, I thought about the ongoing dating problem of the “mama’s boy.” A guy having respect for his mom is great; however, undying devotion is a lot more than respect. If you meet a mama’s boy, run and run fast! Here are some reasons not to venture into this territory.
1. You will never come first- When it comes to his mother, you will never come first. No matter what you do, his mom will always be more important and take precedence over you. There’s nothing you will be able to do to top her and you may try to no avail.
2. You will always be compared to her- Because of the fact that what you do will never top her; you will always be compared to her. Everything you do will be scrutinized and it won’t be as good as how his mom does it.
3. She may play a big role in his decisions- His mom will make a lot of decisions for him or play a huge role in the decisions he does make. Your opinion will not count as much as his mother’s and she may even inhibit him from making more commitments to you. Who wants a man that doesn’t make his own decisions?
4. She will get in the way of your plans and time with him- His mom will get in the way of your time with him because if she needs him, your plans will almost certainly be canceled. As sweet as him helping out his mom may be, it will get annoying when he keeps canceling on you because his mom needs something little.
5. He’d rather lose you than lose his mother- If you complain about what is going on, you might just be sent packing because he’d rather lose you than his mother. If his mom doesn’t like you, instead of him telling his mom that he does and that’s what matters, he most likely will end things with you eventually because mommy dearest said so.
6. He won’t defend you- No matter whether or not his mom is totally wrong in the situation, he will not defend you. He will be too afraid to stand up to his mother and therefore will let her treat you however she pleases. This is by no means acceptable because he should defend whoever is right in the situation; however for a mama’s boy, his mom is always right.
7. He probably still lives at home with his mother- Lastly, he probably still lives at home with his mother, which will amplify all of the other things listed. Because he is living in her house, things will be 10 times worse and yet he won’t want to leave. He is completely content to still be living at home and nothing you say will change that.
What do you think? Is it good to date a mama's boy? What are some ways around it?
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- From: JazmineGray@lovelyish
- About Me: I'm a 21 year old college student who is still learning about life. I have a passion for shopping, love and all things writing.
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Comments (34)
The way around it is to not date men with strange relationships with the mothers.
@Erika_Steele@xanga - lol agreed.
yeah i dated a mama boy before and it was hell lot of pain.
Please please stay away from them.His mom doesn't like this and that, and he just blindly followed. Yes - he will never defend you, which makes me like I committed crimes. She put whatever standards she likes and he listens. She doesn't like you to make less money, and not do housework, and live far away from her home, and get mad at him for not defending you. think twice.
To me, the mama's boy thing is a sign of immaturity. If he has THAT much of a connection to his mom, he is probably not grown up enough to be independent and in a serious relationship.
My first serious relationship was with a momma's boy. Man that was a nightmare. He had some SERIOUS mommy issues and nothing you do will cure them, or make him part ways from his mom. Even as horrible as she is, she is the be-all end-all to him.
Sometimes I think he might as well just hop into bed with her and do her already.
I don't agree with #1 and #5. Basically this says that his girlfriend should come BEFORE family and I don't agree with that. If my boyfriend put me before his family, I wouldn't be too happy, family is extremely important to me and if my boyfriend doesn't show respect for his parents or family members by putting me on a higher pedestal than them, then I wouldn't want to be in that relationship. I always treat my family and man as equal. My man is just as much my family as he is my boyfriend. He doesn't get treated BETTER than my family and my family doesn't get treated BETTER than my boyfriend.
Rage For Love
The guy I'm dating right now is somewhat of a Mama's boy. I wouldn't say it's this bad, though.
@aotolife@xanga - I think the point is, if you are in a serious relationship with a guy you should be on track to becoming their family. To becoming their wife. And yeah, it is nice to see a guy who understands his priorities and all, but if you don't EVER come first as the serious girl friend, nothing is going to change when you are the wife. I think you have to find a good medium-a mature guy who loves and respects his family and knows how to choose his priorities. Because an immature guy with a codependent relationship with his mother isn't putting family first because it is the right thing to do, he is putting family first because he doesn't know how to make decisions for himself. And getting married and growing up will never change that.
Never dated one, but I've heard horror stories about it. I, personally, wouldn't want to date a mama's boy either.
You know, my biggest worry connected to this topic is RAISING a momma's boy on accident... I don't think it will happen, since I'm not the clingy type nor the domineering type of mom, but still I'm on lookout for the signs later on. My two sons are still toddlers, but that's swiftly coming to a close.
Or maybe I just think too much, haha.
I witnessed the pain of a family-related break-up when my best girl friend broke up with her guy because her guy's parents didn't like my friend. Family is important and your parents opinion should ideally be taken into consideration with a serious relationship because they've got a prime point of view--BUT, family opinion does not trump truth. And, unfortunately, that's what happened with my friend and this guy's family. Their opinion of her totally trumped what he knew about her.
They'd been talking about when they could start thinking about marriage and everything... She went on a vacation with him and his family. Few weeks later, he breaks up with her OVER THE INTERNET. So unacceptable. She was so hurt.
~V
@Erika_Steele@xanga - agreeeeed.
I'm currently dating a mommas boy, and I'm trying to slowly break his mommas boy habits.
@TheMarriedFreshman@xanga - Oh I know exactly what you mean. I would LOVE to have a son, but not one that never leaves my side or can't do anything without me. Good points
is this really a post?
really?
His mom prolly should come first. He can have multiple wives but only 1 mom. Same with 5. I'd rather lose my man than my mom
Some of these applied to my ex, but not because he was a mama's boy... but because his mama was (still is, for that matter) fucking crazy.
I can't date a mama's boy.
@aotolife@xanga - what she said
I'm a "mama's girl" but not in an extreme way, so I don't go to her for advice. I make my own decisions. however, if my mother needs me to be there, I'll be there in a heartbeat and agree with #5 and it isn't because she said so, but I want to. that's why I don't do long distance relationships that are hundreds of miles away and have let go of guys due to them going away to another state. I can relate and will consider dating one if it isn't too extreme but it shows their loyalty and respect for their mother.
lol, somebody hasn't grown up. Not you, the momma's boy.
I think the boy has been babied by his momma that he has a close connection to her. I also sense that the Momma's boy might be a little spoiled and always wants to get his way.
Scary!
I could never, ever.
this sounds terrible!
hahaha. This describes my relationship with my ex to a T. He was 23 and had left home, but his mum still had the apron strings and he was always running back home. Ridiculous.
I just ended my relationship with my momma's boy ex.... it was TERRIBLE. Our last fight had to do with the fact that his mom wanted to come decorate MY house, and when I nicely said, "no thank you," he blew up at me and called ME selfish because telling her no would hurt her feelings and he couldnt do it! She also had already planned our wedding and bought a baby crib and wanted him to move it in my house! We were not even engaged or anywhere close to having kids! He argued with me about decorating ENDLESSLY and where I should shop.... always echoing his snobby horrible mother's opinions.... and when I pointed this out to him, he said "that's right, I learned from the best!" UGH!!!!!!!!