Monday, 01 November 2010
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Just a Quickie: Have You Ever Had To Live With An Ex?
Unfortunately for Christina Aguilera and recent ex-husband Jordan Bratman, this is their reality.
Although X-Tina filed for divorce earlier this month, Bratman is still living at home. If the split really was amicable, this shouldn't be totally awful because the couple have a child who will be able to continue spending time with both parents. (However, if reports of Christina's wild threesome antics are true and she is developing a closer relationship with Samantha Ronson, I could see how this setup would be less that peachy).
But let's bring is back to the real world.
I've heard some horror stories of girls continuing to live and pay rent with an ex after a bad breakup because of leases and such. For us mere mortals, money is often as issue in uncomfortable situations likes this.
How awful would it be to have to eat breakfast with a guy who cheated on you or do the dishes for some girl who broke your heart?
Have any of you had to continue to live with an ex after breaking up? How did you deal?
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- From: TheCatInTheCradle@xanga
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Comments (17)
Nope, never.
I've heard about people getting divorced and yet still living together because of a mortgage and neither being about to afford living on their own. That would really suck if you hate each other.
I don't do the live-in-with-bf-gf-thing.... For exactly that reason. I suppose if I get into a monogamous relationship for long enough I will... I prefer living with friends and rockin' out...
Acceptable answer?Yes. Worst 10 months of my life, not close. I'm definitely waiting longer before moving in, etc, etc in the future.
This is the reason I won't move in with my boyfriend. We've been together for over a year and he thinks it's time I move in. I don't feel very secure in our relationship, plus I need some space for myself. I mean, we're not married or anything, why rush things?
My ex and I were together for almost 3 years when we moved in together (minus 6 months after I cheated, we broke up, then I became the "other girl" while he was dating a former friend of mine). We decided to move in with my best friend and her boyfriend (who was his best friend). I had been unhappy since before we moved in together, but told myself it would be better afterwards. Of course, after moving in together, it was worse. I ended up cheating agian, and came clean about it and that I wasn't happy anymore. I broke up with him. We lived together for a little while longer (only a month) before I got my own place. I ended up sleeping in the living room because every night, he would basically beg me to have sex "just one last time". He spent all day, every day, trying to save a relationship I didn't want fixed. I was very happy to get out of there.
I've only lived with one guy, and he's now my husband. I never would have moved in with him if I thought he was anything less than The One. That being said, should the unthinkable happen, I would probably move out and move in with my mom. It's cliche, but it would hurt too much to stay.
-Katie
I don't do the live-in thing, because I can look ahead to the break-up.
My boyfriend and I were clear about things when we moved in together. We knew that no matter what happened between us we would have to work it out long enough to pay rent until the lease was over. We made a deal to each other, and even though we know that we're meant to be together, you just don't know what's going to happen.
If we were to break up, we would continue to live together until the lease was up, because neither of us can afford the rent all on our own. It's just the way it is, and we would make sure that it worked. There's a separate part of the apartment where a new room can be made, and also our schedules conflict so much that we wouldn't really see each other much anyway, so it would just work out.
My boyfriend and I will always end up being friends, mostly because we don't fight, and we don't do things to each other that would make for a bad break up. We may just end up changing and want different things, which is understandable. The only thing is we would not be allowed to bring dates home and such.
I think communication is key before moving into together to decide what you would do when the going gets rough and you decide to break things off.
nope. if it's over, it's over. figure it out, get the hell out. life's too short.
I wouldn't even live with a current boyfriend. This is one of the many reasons I wouldn't live with a guy unless we were married. There is always the chance of divorce I suppose, but I don't plan on getting married until I'm positive that we can work things out before letting it lead to divorce. I would never want to live with a significant other after a break up. There would be way too much different kinds of tension in one place.
I actually got stuck sharing a room with my ex, on a lease with two mutual friends of ours while we were all away in college. I wound up spending most of my time at friends' dorms, coming home maybe twice a week to get clothes and tend to pets (fish and reptiles, no daily tasks). It was pretty awkward for everyone, not just us, and I think we were all really glad when May rolled around and we could all move out.
When I decided that I wanted to leave my ex-husband, I had to stay a week with him before I could actually get on the plane and leave. I had to pack everything and shipped em to my parent's. I also had to sort out everything in the house which belong to me and what not. It was a pain in the ass but we didn't end in bad terms, so living with each other for another week didn't kill us.
@lewk@xanga - Oo how long have you guys been dating before moving in together?
I lived with an ex 6 months after we broke up. We had a two bedroom apartment together and we had signed a contract at the beginning that said we wouldn't just up and leave the other one stranded with the rent. On my end, I don't think it was that bad. I know now it was because I loved him as a friend the entire time, and these 6 months showed me this. I don't know if it was hard for my ex or not.
@omggsoozin@xanga - We dated a little over a year before moving in together. The whole reason we shacked up in the first place is because her parents paid her rent, and said they would stop if we didn't, because she had stayed at my apartment so often and they didn't want to pay for an empty room.
Thankfully I'm out of that situation now.
I'm living with an ex right now. We split up amicably, but the day to day annoyances are so much worse when there's no romance to cushion it. The longer we live together the harder it is to stay on good terms and stay friends. I'm sleeping on the couch. It sucks.