Sunday, 31 October 2010
-
Life Isn't Perfect: Comforting Your SO
When you're with someone, you try to enjoy all the moments and memories you share.
The dates, the affection, the little things your SO does that puts a smile on your face.
But, as we learn in life, not everything is rainbows and sunshine, and at one point or another you or your SO will face some hard times.
So, how does one console and comfort a loved one?
I find myself asking this question after what happened to me last night.
After studying for months for the LSAT exam, my boyfriend got his score back last night, and he was disappointed in himself. The score was far from bad, but was not what he expected. Devastated isn't even the right word.
It was late at night, but I got the call from him asking me to drive a half hour to his house because he needed me.
I was upset that there wasn't anything I could do to change things for him. I couldn't change his score. I felt helpless.
But I still drove to his house, and comforted him the best I could. He was hurt, he was angry, but I just held him and told him how proud of him I was and that everything was going to be fine.
It got me to thinking about relationships and hard times. There may be times where your SO might experience a painful loss, disappointment, or even a hard life change. Most of the time, there isn't going to be anything you can really do to help them....except be there for them and comfort them.
You just have to let them get their emotions out, and remind them that you are here for them. Sometimes the simple fact of knowing that someone is there for you can help you through the hardest of times.
Sometimes they may just need a shoulder to cry on, or they might need someone to give them some advice and point them in the right direction.
The point is that although the hard times can be tough for your SO and your relationship, in the end, it can help strengthen your love and help you realize how lucky you are that someone cares about you.
Cheesy, I know. But that's love.
How about you? How have you helped a SO with their hard times?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: Manny
- Name: Manny
- About Me: I'm just your average 21 year old college girl who overly analyzes love, relationships, and sex.
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 46 Views: 0 173874 Comments: 0 1752 View all posts by Manny
Comments (18)
All you can do is sit and listen to them and give the best advice you can.
Don't have an SO at the moment, but my old one (long, long ago...) used to have massive self-esteem issues and had a really difficult family life. So I'd try to take him away from it and we'd go do something random and crazy to get his mind off of it.
I am so thankful this is here because my boyfriends uncle died last year the day before Christmas Eve and the one year anniversary of his death is coming up and i didn't know what to do. I was thinking about things i could say but there's nothing you can really say. Thank you for the post!
My boyfriend comes from a weird family background and there are certain days of the year that he is pretty inconsolable. I just make sure I'm there for him if and when he does need to rant. I don't try to give him advice because he usually doesn't want advice or it's not something that advice can be given for. I just let him rant and I make sure I'm there to listen to it and don't tune him out.
I think a big thing is letting them know that their emotions are completely understandable and justified. I know that when I'm down about something, I don't want to be cheered up right away. People aren't comfortable with other's pain. But sometimes you need to bite the bullet, listen, and just understand. Validate their emotions, even when they seem irrational.
I've been dating someone for 2 years and his dad passed away a few months before I started dating him and when hes sad about it, he doesn't want to talk about it. so sometimes the only thing that you can do for your significant other is just make them realize your always going to be there for them, during moments of grievance as well as everything they do in their lives.
Thats how me and my best friend were. Through all the hard times the last 2 years hes been there for me to talk to, cry with, and laugh with and vis versa. We've been dating for 5 months yesterday. :)
What if he still fails to see that I'm here for him? :/
A month before I graduated high school my boyfriends grandmother was having complications and was sent to the hospital. He pulled away from me, after being in the hospital for two weeks she passed away which sent him into a spiraling depression. He wouldnt talk to me for about two and a half months.There was nothing that I could do for him, believe me I tried EVERYTHING to make him happy.
def just listen
Sometimes when they fall on hard times, they will become insanely depressed and bi-polar. And even though you're supporting them financially and emotionally, they treat you like shit and resent you for being happy.
Sorry, this actually happened to me, so I had to let it out.
I have. I talk to him, listen and hold him as best as I can, and let him know that I am there.
@DrJolly@xanga - Then maybe you aren't right for each other. There is only so much you can do, maybe he will see it one day?
I don't know if I helped but I did try. My boyfriend lost his grandpa the week of our one year anniversary. When I heard about it all I could do was cry. I had no idea how I was going to help. plus we were planning on celebrating the next day, but were probably going to have to reschedule because of him having to travel (Yes I know I sound selfish, but I wanted to be there for him. How could I do that when he's thousands of miles away?). We ended up not having to reschedule our plans and had a pretty good day (even though I could tell that he was upset). I needed to be myself for him though. I didn't want to make things more upsetting for him. It was hard though.
Tried. Failed.
Some people just don't want to be happy, or they seem to be more comfortable under unhappy circumstances.its so difficult. I always feel like I'm saying the wrong thing...
I always find it comforting and helpful when my SO helps and comforts me, I do the same back. :)