Sunday, 31 October 2010
-
The College Makeover
I believe everyone must have been jealous of someone at some point in their lives because we are human.
Especially for girls, many of us subconsciously are self conscious about the way we look.When I was a kid, I already knew jealousy existed. For example, I would secretly hate the girl that had the toy I didn't have or I would be sad when I saw my friends that have siblings because I am an only child.
When I was in high school, I would be jealous of pretty, popular girls.Now I am a college student, I sometimes still am jealous of some girls. Recently, I have been hanging out with the frat boys and sorority girls even though I am not in a sorority.
Anyway, the girls that hang out with the frat boys on our campus are usually pretty, cute or hot. What category do I fit in?? I think cute!?
When I was in high school, I was a nerdy geek with my thick classes on and had a mushroom like hair so no guys ever liked me. In addition, they made fun of me in a lame way. I remember a guy told me straight up saying "You are f**king ugly, I wanna kick you out of this building!"
I literally bursted out into tears.
Even my relatives made fun of my look and some girls didn't want to take pictures with me because they thought my face would contaminate their pictures. So I was very shy, tame, always looked down on the floor, basically I had deep-seated self esteem issues.Since college, things have turned around 180 degrees.
Now I wear contacts, have long shiny dark hair, use mascara whenever I go out and wear the right clothes at the right place. Girls always compliment me on outfits and the way I look.
Guys always want to get in my pants. Don't get me wrong, I am not bragging, but just telling you what I've experienced in college. Honestly, sometimes people say we should be confident no matter what and no need to care about what other people say and think.
I am glad I've changed a lot and like the new me. Now I am very social, outgoing and happy.Have you experienced something like this? What do you think?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: lotte810
- Name: lotte810
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 6 Views: 0 42112 Comments: 0 337 View all posts by lotte810
Comments (60)
To be honest, I expected something deeper and more eloquent from a college student. There is a difference between jealousy and hatred, that is to say, you can be jealous of somebody but to use the word "hate" is taking it to another level.
Insecurities always shine through, no matter how many layers of makeup and clothes you wear. I feel that our confidence and existence shouldn't require the validation of somebody else, just love you for you. So in short, no I did not get a physical make-over in University - I got an attitude makeover. I learnt that popularity in highschool meant nothing on the bigger scale [I mean, with a huge campus, nobody really knows or cares who you are]. In the same sense, "popularity" means nothing in University as well. I don't need wild parties [not to say I haven't had my share], and "boys constantly trying to get into my pants" to validate my existence and place in the world.Just my two pence
I'm only a freshman in college, but please don't "hate" yourself or other people because of the way they look. Of all reasons to have hate or jealously, outer appearance is a valid concern, but not something that should constantly make you worry. In terms of appearance, I guess I can relate to you because I've had severe acne since 6th grade... and now I'm 18. So it's been a good 6-7 years of my life. Did it put dampers on my appearance at times? Yeah and I got pissed over it and confused as to why I got it so early. But it really should not impede on what you want to accomplish.
Maybe I'm just being too optimistic... obviously I am happy for you because you are now feeling more comfortable with yourself. But don't depend on an appearance change to change everything, you know?
I understand. I'm now a senior in college and I feel like there has been this complete shift from who I was in high school. I'm a lot more girly now...but that's just a personality shift I think. I don't really hang out with the frat and sorority crowd, but that's because I have my theatre crowd. I've had a lot of my guy friends telling me how 'sexy' I am...something I never would have thought of myself before. I never considered myself to be one of the 'hot' women on campus. I did not have a physical makeover, I basically wear my hair the same way I did in high school, and I hardly wear make-up. It doesn't take physical make-overs to view a person as beautiful.
I am the kind of person who sees the beauty in everyone though, don't get me wrong. I don't like judging other people and thinking they are ugly. In my opinion, God made everyone just the way He wanted them, therefore we are all beautiful creatures of our Creator.
This culture relies too heavily on media as a basis of beauty- for both men and women.
Knowing that other people think you are beautiful is a major confidence booster, but be careful not to let it be an ego booster as well.
Also, remember that learning to love your own body is essential to healthy self-esteem.
Every body is beautiful in its own unique way.
=)
Sometimes people just want to be a little pretty. I know I have a better attitude when I know I look good. If I'm having a bad day and I look bad, it just makes it worse. Looking good won't solve all your problems, but it can definitely be a confidence booster. Good for you :)
@mz_d0rkabl3@xanga - well said.
At a certain point, I stopped investing myself in what other people thought of me because I realized it was pointless to worry about something that didn't actually affect me. Why bother worrying over the opinion of of someone who doesn't like you?
I think I was like.... 6... when I came to that conclusion...@mz_d0rkabl3@xanga - inspiring. well said.
To be honest, college boys try to get in any girl's pants, especially when they're drunk. Not all college boys of course, but from my experience at frat houses and frat parties, most definitely. I don't think I had a 'college makeover'. I think I kind of just grew up and realized that boys weren't everything. I sought friendship and education more then boys and how I looked. I usually go to class with my hair unwashed, unkempt, and in a headband to keep it out of my face and through all that, I still have amazing friends and an amazing boyfriend.
I got a lot hotter when I came to college, too and some days I wake up and miss being chubby and plain. I liked knowing back then that anyone who was talking to me was doing so for the right reasons.
1. If things had turned around 360 degrees, you would be at the same place you were.
2. I'd like to see more depth in this article, or more details about your transformation. Why didn't you grow out your hair in high school? Did you magically discover how to dress in college? Details, woman, details.
@MadMarch@xanga - hahahaha, college is not working for her!
Just for the record, 360 degrees means you're back where you started.
I agree with MadMarch--how did this transformation come about?
yeah i went through a 'transformation' in high school... because i got a lot more social, but the truth is when people say 'ive changed' i just think they're ignorant, because for the record, on the books, im always changing... keep up or get out;)
this person is who ive always been.
on the article i cant really relate to the jealously ive only been jealous a couple times and have good confidence, but im glad you're discovering yours and think more women need to.
if they did, it'd make our lives way easier---- because the ones who are always nitpicking and judging are the ones living half lives.
haha good for you! :) Sounds like a movie :P
I think every girl knows what you're going through, Jealousy is very normal, as long as it doesn't turn into a sick obsession I see no problem with it. In fact if you're smart enough to realize that you're jealous and why you're jealous you can turn your life around! Jealous how the other girls are pretty? Try a new hair cut, make up, clothes, lose weight or gain weight. Jealous of the new blackberry the rich spoiled bitch has in your class? Work your ass off to save money and buy it yourself! Jealousy can either destroy or really motivate. Shamefully it's more often destroy than motivation. Jealous of that girls shiny hair? Go ask your doctor or hairdresser for tips, google, eat healthy and do everything you can to get healthier shinier hair. I think you get my point :)
I've always been the average girl. In literally everything.
Peoples mentalities are soooo different but for the most part people assume that other people are more similar to their own characteristics and it's just not true.
Jealousy and admiration for example are two characteristics that are hugely different. I can remember admiring other females but jealousy isn't a routine or even normal emotion I think I have. Seriously. On the other hand I had a girlfriend who thought everything was a competition but more than anything, it was just her insecurities. It's great to transform into a healthier person, but that doesn't mean that because one looks it, they are it.
lolz 360 means you've gone back to what you were.
180 is the term you're looking for.
but i know what you meant
lolz
well this is shallow.
@MadMarch@xanga - LOL I love that you noticed that, too. It's called a "complete 180," honey.
I'm a junior in college and I have to say I've become a LOT more confident about my looks, which has helped me gain confidence in general with approaching people, being a leader, and speaking up.
In high school, I was one of those girls who was completely unconcerned with being hot. I suppose deep down inside, I just considered myself very average if maybe just slightly below average, and I thought there was no purpose in trying. Not that I hated my image, I just didn't care. I had very platonic friendships with guys. I was the girl who wore a t-shirt and jeans, or sometimes just sweatpants to school. I was funny, perky, and a bit of a clown. But I was shy when it came to meeting strangers or giving presentations since I just didn't have tons of self-confidence.
In college, random guys started being attracted to me for the first time, and I realized that I could be attractive, too. I started wearing makeup, and I started wanting to buy clothes that was more mature, classy, and attractive. I became somewhat of a fashionista - I'd spend about 5 minutes just staring at my wardrobe deciding what to wear to class that day.
I guess guys being attracted to me just kind of started me on this quest to become pretty. Then hot. Then even hotter. All of a sudden I just wanted newer, better clothes, sexier hair, and more perfect makeup. I'd say I was a 3-4 in high school with the way I dressed and carried myself, but I think I'm a 6-8 now (it really depends. The hottest guys would probably consider me a 6, the guys who are 4-5 would probably consider me an 8. My last ex thought I was way too attractive for him, and I thought he was just average-looking.).
Now, compared to high school, I am far more attractive, far more outgoing, far more flirtatious, and far more confident. However, it's taken a toll, too. The more attractive I am, the more I compare myself to the girls who are perfect tens all day, everyday. I strive to be them. As a result, I've developed EDNOS (I'll eat like an anorexic, but only for a few days or a week at a time just to lose the weight I want), and I've also started noticing everything about my body that needs to change in order for me to be perfect.
The last part was probably not representative of most girls, but this is just my story.
I care a little bit more about my appearance now, and I'm a lot more open to new experiences than I was in high school. Those two little differences seem to permeate everything I do, so in that sense I am a completely different person from high school. I've also got a hell of a lot more confidence in some areas, and yet I know my place when it comes to others where I am less knowledgeable/experienced. I'm a lot more tolerant of shit.
And best of all, I'm one amazing and talented individual who is quite the independent lady. I actually fully realize that now. I never really did before...this year. (This being my 3rd year of college) I've still got a long way to go in life, but I am definitely headed in the right direction to be where and who I want to be years down the road.
And that, is my experience as far as changes in college go thus far. :)
I guess I'm a weirdo. Typically the "pretty popular girls" at my school wear a bunch of makeup and have their hair done up really complicated- I tend to think the girls who have a more natural look are prettier.
I'm not in college yet but I hope I don't really look any different when I am. I'm about as don't-care-what-I-look-like as people get, and I think that's helped me to appreciate the range of the human body.
Some people end up turning 480 instead of 360. I went way overboard with looking good- I tried too hard and started becoming too shallow. Be careful. Don't let your looks become everything to you. (=
Yup the old ugly duckling story. I can actually say i know how you feel. My mom use to be in the military when i was very young and i was in a place where i was accepted for who i am, then we moved. That's when everything went wrong. I was always getting picked at, clothes, called ugly constantly and since i was a nerdy geek yeah that didn't make my life good with the girls at all. And of course deep down inside i don't think i hated the other guys well i hated the ones that picked at me but i wanted to be more like other guys. Cool, get girls, laughing, hell even the teachers loved them. And that was the story of my life until my sophomore year in High school. My sister kind made a mini change over me. And since i started playing football going to the weight room CONSTANTLY. Everything sorta change girls wanted to like me but they remember how i use to look so they never said. Good thing was people stop picking at me after i started standing up for my self. Life change GREATLY when i went too college though, maybe cuz i was playing football idk. But never had i ever seen girls approach me. I didnt know what to do nor what to say. Shy was major word for me. I been in relationships of course but they were long distance remember i said i was a geek soo ehh yeah. But i know exactly how she feels after reading this post. But one thing i wonna state. Never forget where you came from and dont lose your self becoming someone your not. Even till this day i dont think im pretty n all but when i actually do get a girl or a girl to confront me i tell her im a nerdy geek. And the comment i get now is awww that is soo sweet. I wonder where was all of that in junior high or high school......a mystery ill never solve.
@mz_d0rkabl3@xanga - Very well said. This speaks volumes upon volumes of truth right here.
good for you. i think a lot of people go through this