Anti-depressants isn't the answer. Therapy and time will heal your wounds. Those drugs only make things worse in the end.

@BlehhItsTu@xanga - AGREED.

@Hinase@xanga - True, to an extent. In this case, she has a reason for being depressed. Losing a loved one would naturally elicit a depressed response in any one. Medication might be a PART of the solution if she couldn't find a trace for the reason she is feeling depressed.

To answer the questions, I was first diagnosed with depression when I was 13 (and am now 20), but never took any medication for it. I didn't start seeking therapy until I came to college, and that alone made a huge difference. I would never take medication for it, especially after I took a Psychopharmacology course where we learned about the history of medication for mood disorders and the effects it has on neurotransmitters. If you are considering it, PLEASE do your research.

As for my SO, he has dealt with it fine. There are some times where it is hard for him to deal with my depressive states, but I don't stick to therapy consistently. (I go maybe once every few months, and sometimes go more than a year without going. Since I go to the university therapists and the degree of depression I feel isn't that bad, the inconsistency is allowed.) If he's worth it, he'll stick it through with you.

@tomorrow_may_rain@xanga - Of course I know medication can't be all of the solution. Therapy helps as well. I already know that bit. You gotta be willing to work for yourself to get better. People seem to forget that. But even if it has a trace sometimes medicine can help, along with therapy in order for that person to function again. Again, you have to work for making yourself better. Like myself, I can hardly function most of the days and medicine does seem to help along with living in a positive and supportive environment. I'm not taking anything now but I know I'm quite unstable and will need medicine to get back to work etc;  Just sometimes people have to take medicine...It's just facts of life really. It really depends on the person and the situation they find themselves in.

my depression wasn't related to a death of a loved one but post traumatic stress related. I dealt with the living death of myself, figuratively speaking. not many people around me understood. I wrote in my journal notebook and documented all of my feelings. I let myself grieve or feel all the negative feelings that I felt instead of denying that they were real and basically, let all of my feelings out rather than bottling it all inside. I gradually felt alleviated, not completely, but better than before. I've talked to people but they didn't really understand. I didn't see a therapist because I wanted affirmation and understanding from a loved one than a stranger. I've felt hesitant to share my feelings with loved ones before because I didn't want to burden them with my problems or be known as the gloomy girl, who brought their mood down. then one of my loved ones that I talked to could relate to me, although her depression was a result of something different, but it still gave me solace that she cared and understood. she also expressed that she was depressed but mostly kept to herself. so I don't think it is selfish. if you reach out to someone, one of them might grab your hand and understand, too, because they might also be waiting for someone to understand them as well.

@tomorrow_may_rain@xanga - Hmm..I'll check out the book for sure =) It's okay. Sorry about that! I don't wanna argue about it either. It's really up to the individual. It's their personal choice. 

@xx0behindthesmile@xanga - That part is no fun, but to a certain extent you have to realize that it's probably partly your depression talking.  When I'm having an episode, I don't want to talk to anyone about it because if they feel bad for me, I end up feeling worse for making them feel bad.  And then once I'm out of it (a few weeks or months later), I'll tell them what was going on, the good, the bad, and the ugly, and it's no big deal.  Sometimes I feel it's like there's depressed me and not-depressed me, and they're two completely different personalities that switch on/off when I'm having an episode.  

i just read this and its so a good feeling for me to know i'm not alone in the way i feel in this world. I'm 20 years old and i've been taking lexapro (antidepressants) for a year now and it's helped, but recently i've been taking sleeping pills and everything and my moods just so off and i cant sleep normally. I sleep during the day and stay up at night. my advice to you:

I suffered badly from depression for about a year and a half, and it will probably always be there, but it's gotten better. Last week, everything seemed to go wrong, and I thought I was sinking into that downward spiral, but I managed to pull myself out.
I was on medication originally. It took me about eight months to go and seek any medical help. I just buried it all inside of me. I was terrified to tell my parents, incase they blamed themselves. The GP said she'd recommend me for Counselling but that it could take weeks. So I went with the medication. It didn't get better though, so I came off them when I was at University but life was still very tough so I went for Counselling. Best decision I ever made :).
It does get better, as long as you want to get better. My Grandfather is almost eighty, and has suffered from depression for several years now, and he doesn't want to get better.
You're not being selfish at all. I love being there for other people, and I think this is partly why my depression came about, because I never took the time for me. I always found it hard to find someone to talk to, who would take the time to talk to me.
My Mum has always said to me that I will be fine as long as I keep talking. So keep talking about it. To everyone you feel comfortable telling. Don't hold it in, because you'll became withdrawn.
I know what it's like to lose someone you love. My whole world appeared to be turned upside down when that happened.

@mz_d0rkabl3@xanga - Oh, sorry. I just happen to be one of the few who find it convincing that these medications don't treat underlying problems- . There's been several debates on this, and after taking psych courses/a&p, and hearing from plenty enough psych med-takers, I just think it would be wiser for this girl who's going through heartbreak to go for therapy, take time with loved ones, and move on this way.

I hate that being on anti-depressants and going to therapy have such negative connotations to people.  You're brave.  You're getting help.  And people who tell you you're wrong for it clearly don't understand.

Please don't be so quick to start taking pills. They're addictive, eventually you'll need more and more to get the same effects. Try and avoid them, unless you got a gun against your head every night wondering whether you should kill yourself, you don't need them yet.

As for therapist, make sure you like yours. If after a month you don't feel a connection between you two find a new one. It's a shame to see people giving up and turning to medication just because they got a very very bad therapist. Therapist should make you feel as if you're finding a solution as to why you're depressed, you should like her and you should respect her, if you feel she's not helping at ALL why stay? maybe there's just no chemistry between you two and if after a few months there still isn't get a new one.

Furthermore, this might sound really lame but it's true. I took some psychology classes in uni and one of the things that might help is exercise. Really, depression is nothing more than something being wrong in your head to put it very simply. Lack/restraining of certain chemicals. Exercise releases the good kind of chemicals so you might be feeling better. I'm not talking about 10 min yoga in the morning, no hardcore exercise! Put your ipod on and run for half an hour. Run so much and hard that your face is redder than a tomato and you're sweating like you're in a sauna! Not saying that by exercise you'll be better or that it'll cure you, it might not do anything. BUT it is proven that it helps with some people. Exercise is good for the body and mind.

Most important thing is you acknowledged and are looking for help. Do your best and never give in. Good luck.

Depression sucks a lot, but eventually all things pass...

I know how you feel, I have been suffering for 3.5 years, but unlike you, have not gotten help. You just need to keep your head up and know there is a future for you. It will hurt.... but I'm sure there will be better things that life will offer you.