Thursday, 28 October 2010
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Quit Staring at the Phone! Text Him First!
To text or not to text. This has become one of the major questions of our generation.
When we receive/give a number, guys and girls are always told to wait at least 3 days before any communication. WHY? If you had a good rapport with that stranger and want to keep talking, why wait? Should you become official facebook friends and then try talking?
Here's what happened to me.
I met said guy, let's call him Arthur, and I really liked him. We were laughing and having a good time. Problem was that I had to leave and wanted his number. So he gave me his and I gave him mine. After that initiation, I thought, what if I texted him first? Does that mean I'm too pushy? Well I don't think so, because we've been texting and talking for the past two weeks!
Maybe, just maybe, it means that girls are starting to put the first foot forward. We live in the digital age that doesn't require some archaic conventions of waiting for the man. We are independent and interesting and vibrant people. We can start a relationship and who knows, the guy might actually find that attractive and different.
I know I am not the first girl to write this idea but hey, let's get the trend going. See that cutie in class? Go and talk to him! I wrote earlier how being single isn't a curse because it's not. Being single is a time to go out, meet new people and enjoy life and yourself. Being with an SO is something fun and fresh. It never hurts to try.
What do you readers think? Are you the texter or the textee?
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- From: Cuddlybear32@xanga
- Name: Tiffany
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- About Me: Living the dream...wait who's dream?
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Comments (20)
depends on the situation. i hung out with a guy a few days ago, and i didn't text him for four days after...mostly because i was going to see if he'd text me (he didn't). but with him i always allow myself a few days here and there, but that's because he likes playing games. he'll read my bbm (which you can see) and not answer, which annoys me to no end, so i'll do it back.
but somebody i'm actually interested in? and don't wanna bullshit with? i text him first. this one kid i'm talking to - we text back and forth all the time, and it's always either him or me texting first. and i don't keep tabs or wait a few days. it's relaxed.
I am a textee. I hate it when my wife texts me and when I am getting ready to text back, I have already got three additional texts asking why I have not text back !!! Dammit call me !!!
It would be awesome if women, on certain occasions, would pick up the phone and call. This isn't ye' olden days, you can be proactive ladies.
I personally always make the first move, but that's because I'm just used to seizing what i want, or not getting it at all.
Do it Ladies, you have all the power :P
i like going back and forth for the most part. i text him one day, then he texts me the next, etc. equal effort! haha
I had this problem just a few days ago. I am a total textee! I wish I wasn't. I wish I felt like I could be more assertive, but idk how. In person, I am totally outgoing and will approach guys I find attractive. However, when it comes to texting, calling, or IMing I wait and wait and wait. I did in fact text first a few days ago and (not so) surprisingly the world didn't stop and the floor didn't cave in. He texted back and we had a great converstaion. But, today I am waiting for him to text again about plans for the weekend. I think I will wait til he texts me. I guess I mostly dont want to seem pushy or potentially interrupt something.
I used to be the texter but my impatience couldn't handle it, so after a while and he doesn't text me back, then I'll start to flirt with someone else and when he finally texts me, I'm no longer that interested
this scenario happened several times.
I'm always the textee
i'm both, i'm not going to wait if i like him. i'm upfront about it. i'm not going to waste my time messing around if i think he's a good catch.
I lack the patience to be JUST the textee, so I'm both. Of course I prefer if he texted me first since that lets me know he actually WANTS to talk to me as opposed to feeing obligated to reply - but, then again, that's probably the mental dilemma guys have BEEN going through for years!
Time to step up and be aggressive girls! B-E AGGRESSIVE. >:]
I used to always wait for the guy to text me first or call me first. Bonus points if they called me since everyone seems to hide behind texting. I think it's perfectly fine for women to text men first (or call them). I would probably do it if I weren't already in a relationship. My friends tell me that it's rude to text a guy first, but I don't really care. If he texts back that's fine, but if he doesn't it's not the end of the world.
I'm traditional so I prefer the guy to make the first move then I would reciprocate.
I don't text but this can be applied to phone calls as well. My boyfriend and I talked for 1 year before we made our relationship official. In that year, I only called three times while he called me regularly. He's my first boyfriend so I didn't know what to do. We both find it hilarious now but back then, he almost gave up on me because he thought I wasn't interested. So don't make this mistake ladies...if he calls you then call him back. =)
Texting? How about CALLING him instead?
You know damn well if we turned the tables around -- the guy would be seen as coward-like for texting instead of calling.
Yours is an exception. You'd been talking 2 weeks, so...that's not as bad, but you can jump the gun. I generally get the guy's number...and think about texting him a few minutes later, and open my phone up and find out there's already a text there from him.
Maybe I know how to pick 'em? Meh.
Oh my god, I've been going through the same debate in my head.
I work at a clothing store. I started small talk with a customer in the fitting rooms and rung out his purchase.
It was one-on-one. No other company nearby to intimidate our communication.
After working with the register, I asked him, "Hey, what's your name? I mean, I don't know if I'll see you around soon, but---" He intercepted, told me his name, and asked if I wanted to exchanged numbers (! yes!). I said sure, and dialed my # from his phone. The thing I regret was forgetting to tell him that I keep my phone in my locker while I'm on my shift, so that the # I gave him was truthfully my cell #.
SIGH, and I haven't gotten anything from him since, even though I thought we conversed smoothly. I was heavily considering texting him two days afterwards, but IUNNO... As independent and confident I can be, I hate looking like the sucker.
Dude I'm a total textee! Gah I wish I wasn't either but if super into the person and I was comfortable enough to know I'm not bothering the person and they know my wierdness and so.. than I'd totally be the texter. I've only had one guy really call me when I first gave him my number. Called me first instead of texting, lots of brownie points =D Wait.... actually I think it's because I didn't have texting at the time.. hoe yeah that's why. Oh well at least he called :) He he I need to be the texter damn it.
@KCL11590@xanga - lol aww. dude just text him! I'm sure he'll be relieved to hear from you. I had a situation kind of similar to yours but it never got that far. The guy was totally into me, walking into a clothing store "looking around" (sike he wasn't interested in the clothes come on) made small talk with me, asked me for MY name very politely, shook MY hand. I messed up bc my hand shake sucked ass bc I didn't shake his hand, it was more like shaking his pinky. I don't know what possessed me to not give him a firm hand shake but whatever handshake I gave him left him with a bad impression of me like I was not interested. But I was, and than I never heard from him again. (even though he worked next door to me) Ugh sometimes I'm such a freakin turd. I knew it was bc I was so shocked at how polite he was from the other guys the usually hit on me. Such a gentle man :(
I`ve always been the textee so I don`t know. I`m too scared to initiate the first text. But if you guys get along, then why not eh? I don't think it's too pushy at all. It's not like you have nothing to talk about.
Go for it :)
For all you know. he could be waiting FOR YOUR text. And that only makes sense since you asked for his number.
all your stupid pride hahaha
I'm usually the textee, but I'm trying to more of a texter in my current relationship since we're both still a little shy. I do love getting texts first though. It makes me smile. Hahah =]
As far as who initiates the communication at the beginning of our relationship? I'm the textee or the call-ee. Technology has changed, but I don't think people have. At least not as much as people say they have. If a guy is interested, he'll call or text. If he's not, he won't. It's as simple as that. If I have to be the one to pursue him, he doesn't really like me. And if he doesn't like me, then pursuing him is a waste of my time. If I like a guy, I'll give him my number. If he's not interested enough to call or text, I go on with my life. Simple as that.
If we are in an established friendship or relationship, though, then it's both. If I have something to say to him, I'll call or text. If I don't, I won't. Again...simple as that. One a related note, though, I try to make sure that I call or text him either equally or less often than he contacts me (preferably less). Reason being, it keeps him in the pursuing role, so I know he's still interested, and also that most guys aren't as talkative as most girls, so it's better not to overdo it in my opinion. I was reading this blog post 5 ways to avoid being a needy girlfriend, and one of them was, if you really have a lot to say, call a girl friend. Interesting thought.