Monday, 25 October 2010
-
How to Not Become Dependent and Ruin Your Relationship
1. Don't be clingy. If he wants you, he'll come find you. Forcing yourself on him is annoying and makes you look and feel pathetic. It's no fun to be left behind, it's even less fun to be left behind publicly.
2. Don't cry all the time. Emotions should be dealt with in your private bedroom. Crying is fine occasionally, like when you want him to feel REALLY bad, but it should be saved for secret weapon times only. If you do it too often he'll stop feeling awkwardly guilty and start noticing how scary your face looks when it's all contorted and stuff.
3. Break-ups happen for a reason. Occasionally people go back for round two and it works out, but the general rule is this: if there was enough wrong that one of you actually wanted to sever all ties for good, you should probably not waste more time trying to make it work out again.
4. A boyfriend isn't the main objective. Your goal in life is not to be in a relationship. Make friends, have sex-- you don't HAVE to date every boy that talks to you. Not every life experience should be centered around finding a boyfriend. I hate the whole, "you don't need a man to make you a person" lecture, but just try to be fun without one.
5. Don't be whiny. Friends should be there for you when you have boy problems or whatever, but if you have the same problem multiple times, don't complain about it multiple times. I gave you advice, listen to it or stop bitching.
6. Still having feelings for someone isn't a good enough reason to stay/keep trying if you're not completely happy.
7. Relationships should be viewed in present tense. Decision making can't be based off of how great things were in the beginning or three months ago or how they will be in the future. What you have now is the only thing that you actually have, that's what you should work with.
8. Whatever is meant to be will happen, regardless of what you do now. Locking yourself in your room forever might change things up a bit, but don't be so preoccupied with missing "the one."
9. "Boys are stupid" is not the answer to all of your problems. If you have frequent difficulties with males, you're probably the stupid one.Agree or disagree? Recommendations?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: justtchange@xanga
- About Me: tried sweet talk, tried dynamite, but i sleep walk back to the battle site.
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 1 Views: 0 5386 Comments: 0 66 View all posts by justtchange@xanga
Comments (66)
hahahaha that picture is so cute!!!
Anyway, I don't really agree with #2, crying should never be used as weapon to make them feel bad but i get where you're going with it. Its better to talk out your problems. I agree with most of these though. I hate girls that are whiny and clingy.
but...boys are stupid is a legitimate answer. ;)
Hm. I have some work to do.
"Crying is fine occasionally, like when you want him to feel REALLY bad, but it should be saved for secret weapon times only. If you do it too often he'll stop feeling awkwardly guilty and start noticing how scary your face looks when it's all contorted and stuff. "
....I really hope this was a joke. If it wasn't, you're a twat.
"...If you do it too often he'll stop feeling awkwardly guilty and start noticing how scary your face looks when it's all contorted and stuff."
AHAHAHAHAHHHA, WIN. That's All.
@Gorrific@xanga - we just quoted the same thing, Im taking it as a joke, cause that was hilarious.
being able to cook is a plus!
I love this post.....
@GagaMonster - I second this statement.
or... 10. find a guy who understands the difference between dependence and genuine affection. my SO loves the fact that i'm "clingy" because it shows i'm genuinely interested in him. and he thinks that women who play hard to get are bitches who think they're too good to show a need to be with anyone.
@too_pretty_to_die@xanga - My boyfriend says this all the time, too.
"9. "Boys are stupid" is not the answer to all of your problems. If you have frequent difficulties with males, you're probably the stupid one. "
THANK YOUUUUU
1.Don't be clingy. If he wants you, he'll come find you. Forcing yourself on him is annoying and makes you look and feel pathetic. It's no fun to be left behind, it's even less fun to be left behind publicly.
--Oh yes, whatever you do, don't YOU go out of your way to make him feel warm and fuzzy -_-2. Don't cry all the time. Emotions should be dealt with in your private bedroom. Crying is fine occasionally, like when you want him to feel REALLY bad, but it should be saved for secret weapon times only. If you do it too often he'll stop feeling awkwardly guilty and start noticing how scary your face looks when it's all contorted and stuff. --If you are using crying in any way, you're messed up. My boyfriend and i cry in front of eachother but we cry when we need to cry, there is no secret weapon to it.
3. Break-ups happen for a reason. Occasionally people go back for round two and it works out, but the general rule is this: if there was enough wrong that one of you actually wanted to sever all ties for good, you should probably not waste more time trying to make it work out again.
--Right person wrong time. Look it up.
4. A boyfriend isn't the main objective. Your goal in life is not to be in a relationship. Make friends, have sex-- you don't HAVE to date every boy that talks to you. Not every life experience should be centered around finding a boyfriend. I hate the whole, "you don't need a man to make you a person" lecture, but just try to be fun without one.--Make friends, go have promiscuous sex, oh yeah, that's the point of life, silly me i knew i was doing something wrong.
5. Don't be whiny. Friends should be there for you when you have boy problems or whatever, but if you have the same problem multiple times, don't complain about it multiple times. I gave you advice, listen to it or stop bitching.--One, it's called venting, you vent to eachother when you are pissed off and because you care for the other person you let them and then you calm them down. Sharing problems brings you closer, it means that you want their input.
6. Still having feelings for someone isn't a good enough reason to stay/keep trying if you're not completely happy.--Yes it is. You are not going to be happy in your relationship 24/7, that's a given.
7. Relationships should be viewed in present tense. Decision making can't be based off of how great things were in the beginning or three months ago or how they will be in the future. What you have now is the only thing that you actually have, that's what you should work with.--Disagree. Maturity.
8. Whatever is meant to be will happen, regardless of what you do now. Locking yourself in your room forever might change things up a bit, but don't be so preoccupied with missing "the one."--I have an argument for this but i can't put it into words right.
9. "Boys are stupid" is not the answer to all of your problems. If you have frequent difficulties with males, you're probably the stupid one. --SOOOO disagree. Guys are stupid. Guys think girls are stupid, we are all doing it right, we are all doing it wrong.
[--]
I actually really needed to read a post like this one. Especially 3 and 6... Good post.
5. Don't be whiny. Friends should be there for you when you have boy problems or whatever, but if you have the same problem multiple times, don't complain about it multiple times. I gave you advice, listen to it or stop bitching.
Oh my gosh, yes! I had a roommate like this in college... it was frickin' annoying. After a while, I decided I should just stop asking her about her relationship.
Good advice.. I've broken some of these at times but I'm not too extreme.
I agree with some and then disagree with some.
I semi-disagree with #9. I agree that people should stop with the "boys are stupid" or "girls are whores" statements, but I disagree with the fact that having frequent difficulties with males might make it the girl's fault. I guess there are some cases in which that could be true, but I mean... I've been cheated on three times; I really don't think that's my fault at all.
See...for the emotion thing? I don't think that that's true. I've been afraid to show my SO my emotional side because I was always taught that no one cares about that. That it
shouldbe dealt with in my room or in my head. But he recently sat me down and made me spill my guts about
everything, and it felt so good! I'm not saying that I'm going to go sobbing to him anytime anything sucky happens...but it's nice to have him there to vent to. To talk to. I love that he's okay with me crying it out whenever I need to.
Ok, so instead of trying to talk to my bf about things that are bothering me (referring to #2), I'll just keep a wall up!! Which means, he's just gonna have to read my mind. :)
It's so nice, keeping issues bottled up inside of me. Gosh, it sounds like such a healthy plan.
i think you should be yourself.. but maybe i'm old school. you can't hide who you are forever!
I agree with some things but if you're in a long term relationship and your guy can't stand to see you cry especially over things that truly hurt you I'd tell him to fuck off. I hate watching people cry too and I hate crying myself but should it be private? In this case no. Especially if you're going through hard times and that is when you need someone like that the most? Fuck that. I've never been a clingy person but I've also learned keeping to yourself all the time and being a robot in a serious relationship never works either.
I cannot disagree more with the tidbit about crying. Some people need the comfort of someone else when they feel emotional; it all depends on the personality type. But really, to suggest only crying as a weapon to make someone feel bad? That cannot be construed as anything other than selfish and manipulative.
I know this post was geared towards women... but what if every reason you listed up there applies to why I broke up with my boyfriend? I've never had it laid out point-blank in front of me.. but there it is. My boyfriend was actually too much like a girl.
I think it's hilarious when girls become "gay" because they think they can't deal with boys anymore...yeah...they're not really gay at all, just wanna avoid the issue instead of waiting to find someone decent.