Tuesday, 19 October 2010
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Just A Quickie: Let's Discuss the Honeymoon Phase
You know that feeling when new love is growing. The butterflies. The anxiety. The passion. The smiles. The excitement of it all.
That feeling where you feel lighter than air every time you and your SO come in contact with each other, even if it's just a mere touch.
This has come to be labeled as "the honeymoon phase" and in most cases seems to be gone within a matter of a few months, or even just a few weeks.
Personally, I think that when you find the right person, your honeymoon phase will last forever. Kind of a cutesy, fairytale way to think, but my parents have it after twenty years... so why can't I?
I've been dating my boyfriend for a year last September. For the whole year it's felt brand new, but now it seems that my honeymoon phase is coming to an end, as we find things to fight about, and exchange words that I never imagined would come into conversation.
What do you think of the honeymoon phase? Is yours over, or just beginning? How can you make it last?
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Comments (66)
It doesn't last forever. I think the honeymoon phase is over the second you see them take a dump or catch a glimpse of their pimply pubescent face in an old yearbook photo.
It is excting, but the sad fact of the matter is, it is only a phase.
It doesn't last forever. The only way it happens continuously is if the two of you "rediscover" each other on a regular basis after either not having contact or after some enormous fight or something.
Mine is over. We've already dealt with mostly difficult stuff...and still have more of it to come.
Nope, it never lasts. It can't.
I find mine comes and goes in phases. I noticed it started to wear off for me around the 1 year mark, and I got really worried. We didn't fight at all, but little things would irritate me, or I'd feel bored with the relationship. I realized that we had just become so comfortable around eachother, which is why you don't have the anxious/excited feeling all the time. However I believe that's just a phase as well. The honeymoon phase keeps coming back for me. There are weeks that feel like the honeymoon phase, and weeks that don't. It's a big mixture! The weeks or months when you dont feel that excitement doesn't mean you're not in love anymore. The excitement still happens... it doesn't get lost forever. With me, I still get butterflies sometimes when we share an amazing kiss or he looks at me.
It absolutely can last for as long as you are prepared to put in the effort to keep it going. My wife and I are still in our "honeymoon phase" after 5 yrs married and 10 yrs together. It all comes down to communication and being respectful imo.
Oh, and of course the "Yes dear" response.... ;)
mine was after a few weeks. my last boyfriend it was 6 months of bliss
My honeymoon phase with my bf lasted like a little over a month? 1.5 months I'd say.
Call me a romantic/idealist, but I think it can last forever. It takes hard work--you have to make a focused effort to appreciate one another, have fun, be spontaneous, and look past minor flaws. The best feeling in a relationship is when you're still in the honeymoon phase, but you feel completely comfortable and candid around each other. Bliss.
Dump the bitch and find a new bitch. New honeymoon phase, problem solved.
@NCTHope@xanga - You are out there..... outerspace... twinkle twinkle------in the butt.
@ssolid71 - Maybe so, but I'm too happy in my relationship to care about your opinion.
So do you think the person you are with isn't the right person and it should end because the honeymoon phase does? I find that a bit immature. The honeymoon phase usually lasts only a few months to a year depending on the couple. In my couple it lasted about a year and half but that doesn't mean he isn't the right person for me. We matured in our relationship. Not everything is goosebumps and butterflies.
I don't think it's a phase. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years now...Though, he's not really my boyfriend anymore...He proposed last month. We both just understand eachother and haven't really had any fights. I think that when you find the right person it just lasts.
In my case, the honeymoon phase has lasted 2 years and 9 months, which is how long we've been together. I still feel like I did when we first stated dating. I mean we have our bad days, our fights, our disagreements.. but that only proves that we are connected at a much deeper level. We are not afraid to voice our opinions and talk about more complicated subjects. We have matured alot from the beginning and we still feel the spark, excitement, and happiness every time we are together. We are absolutely comfortable around each other and nothing is off limits or embarrassing. Being that comfortable creates so much more fun
We do have our off weeks, when we just irritate each other and don't feel like hanging out too much. I feel like that is a good thing, though -- spending some time apart is vital. Then it just turns around and everything is giggles and oogling all over again. Haha I sound pathetic
In my experience, the honeymoon phase is just a phase. All good things come to an end, but they don't have to be severed. I've been dating my boyfriend for over 2 years, and while we don't have the "honeymoon" feelings anymore, the fact that we're each others' best friends and how comfortable things can get after that phase passes is what keeps us together. I love that phase a lot, but after some failed relationships, I've realized it doesn't last, and that you do have to put in some hard work to keep it going.
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i don't agree that it doesn't last forever. It just changes & matures. Yea, you find things to fight about & if you feel like they're things you shouldn't be fighting about, maybe your relationship is coming to an end. But my parents still have it too & i'm confident it doesn't end.
when you find the right person, the honeymoon phase doesn't exactly "end" but like anything that lasts a long time, it isn't always the same. it can grow and it can shrink, come and go. it is like a tide---sometimes it is there like a high tide, covering all things in it, and sometimes it draws back to let you see things on the ground that you couldn't have imagined. sometimes you are engulfed with those feelings of blinding love, sometimes they draw back and you see them for what they are... but love is love and you appreciate them all the same.
The honeymoon phase is fun and sadly I don't think I've gotten too much passed it. My longest relationship thus far just passed, 4 months, but I look forward to the other phases. I like the idea of being completely comfortable with someone, stability, a best friend, knowing them inside and out, etc. I know there will be struggles, compromises, fights, big fights, hardships, but all longterm relationships are like that and I've already experienced much of these things.
Just knowing someone can stick around and work with me is something I look forward to.
The honeymoon phase is what it is because its new, exciting, and people don't show their flaws yet. That's kinda boring. I'd rather really get to know a person before they just leave.
With I was dating my ex, he said that after being with me for six months and we're not in our "exhausting" honeymoon stages, he was relieved and I was actually hurt by that comment. I'm with you on the belief that if you are with the right person, it lasts forever... why not?
with my current bf, it's been over a year (longest we've been in a stable relationship): almost 17 months actually, and I still miss him all the time, he texts me and whenever we see each other (twice a week), he still greets me as though it's been forever since the last time we saw each other. We still text each other little cute texts at least two, three times a day, avg 4-5 times a wk, we always wish time would move slower when we're about to say good night and good bye and now that we're talking about the serious adult stuff (getting engaged, live together, then set a date for the big wedding), we're not freaking out... he's actively talking about the budget for our rental/lease topics, ring sizes and honeymoon travels and we're not even actually engaged yet. HAHAAHAH
my point to sum it up is... in my early 20s, after 2 weeks I USED to get tired of the guys I was dating. but I'm not with my bf (nor was I with my ex) with the idea that they're replaceable. And I wouldn't think anyone should take ME for granted or the sweet nothings we share during our honeymoon phase; it is whats YOU and YOUR BF are comfortable with... but don't grow into a habit of doing something if you can't keep it up... that's my side note.
I think research shows the 'honeymoon phase' lasts only as long as two years at the most. The reason why your parents may seem to be so in love still is probably because they are a good match. Not all of us have such fortune. So yeah, the key to a long-lasting loving relationship is to find a good match. That's one lottery I'd love a ticket for.
When you define it like that, then I guess that means I've been in the honeymoon phase the entire time I've been seeing my fiance. We have our disagreements, yes and that's natural, but we are very happy in the relationship.
a few years ago, I met this guy and it lasted about 3 years. we were excited to talk to each other every single day. my ex last year, the phase lasted a couple weeks until he said something that irked me and I just couldn't get over it and that changed my feelings for him. we still had our honeymoon moments but the intensity faded down to medium level or something, then after a few months, it just disappeared