Saturday, 16 October 2010
I don't want this to come out pompous, because I really don't get hit on often, but some guys are just completely unoriginal. I mean honestly, it's starting to get to the point where flirting is no longer an art, but more like a quote that everyone knows because it's just that obvious.
I'm the type of girl who likes the idea of a mystery, or at least a guy that's a little bit harder to figure out. Come on, man: by starting out with all your cards face up on the table, you completely ruined the fun of flirting for me.
Here's my guide on things to NOT go overboard with.
1. Unnecessary Touching
Let's be honest. Our hormones are going wild and for all I know you may or may not want to get in my pants. But by touching me like we're already going out is a BIG no no. Just because I'm being nice to you, and feigning a smile, does not mean that I'm necessarily interested in you, nor do I want your grubby fingers grazing my boob.
And since when is a conversation starter you poking me in my side? If I say I don't like people poking my sides, then stop poking my sides. Saying something makes me uncomfortable doesn't give you permission to do it over and over and over again. So if I don't want you poking me on my sides, then I most definitely don't want you pulling me onto your lap, and I sure as night and day don't want you stroking my inner thigh, and I definitely don't want you "accidentally" squeezing my butt. Yes I know that I in fact do have a nice butt, that is extremely toned. I didn't need you to tell me that thank you very much.
2. Unnecessary Closeness
I don't really know why you have to get so close to my face, but it's really annoying the heck out of me. Getting closer to my face doesn't make me hear you any better, nor does it make me notice your bushy eyebrows any less. I think once you're three inches away from my face you can stop getting closer. And when you sit next to me, you don't have to be pressed up against me. I am human too, and I do feel your body heat radiating off of your skin. I would appreciate it if we could keep our sweaty bodies separated thank you very much.
3. Unnecessary PDA
I'm a strong believer, that if I am not involved with you, attracted to you, or longing to have a relationship with you in anyway, then there should be no PDA. If you ask me for a polite parting kiss on the cheek, and I refuse, that doesn't mean you should just steal one yourself. What it means is that I'm obviously not as into you as you think I am, and that I would prefer to just leave at this very moment. So next time you try to kiss me I want you to know that I just thought of a million and one ways to rip your lips off your face without getting caught.
Obviously this is all written in rage, so guys don't take it to heavily, but honestly, if you get anything from this post, understand this: if a girl is pretending that she doesn't like you, chances are she's not pretending. There's no such thing as hard to get, only hard to figure out. So stop dubbing all of us chicks as submissive characters and start treating us with a little bit more class.