Saturday, 16 October 2010
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Are Your Friends Mostly Guys? Well Then They Won't Be Around Forever...
Not to “toot my own horn” but I’ve always had more guy friends than girl friends. I’ve always enjoyed their company more. Guys are less drama and just all around more fun. (The flirting doesn’t hurt either!)
Recently, I sat back and took a look around and they’re all gone! No, none of them moved away. They’re all living in the same city as me. What I mean is that they’re all gone from my life. A couple are married, a few are in relationships, but most of them just disappeared from my life.
At first I thought it was me. I know I’ve been busy at work and haven’t had a lot of free time to spend with my friends. But as I began to call them to find to time to get together, they were all surprisingly busy. I heard the most BS excuses. “Sorry, it’s football night with the boys. JUST the boys.” or “Umm I think I’m busy that day. Let me get back to you.” (He never called me back.) Eventually I came to the conclusion: Guys and girls can’t be friends forever!
Sure you can start out that way. The younger you are, the easier it is. But as more time goes by, one of you wants to turn the friendship into a relationship. Even if no one comes right out and says it, you just know. It’s one of your best friends after all; you know them like the back of your hand.
Maybe I played this wrong. I miss them but I understand.
Do you agree? Can guys are girls really be friends forever?
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- From: TheLastSingleGirl
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Comments (63)
Right now I'm in middle school and most of my friends are guys. I'm hoping in high school we all stay friends. I'm doubting though that we'll stay friends after high school. But they're gonna be the friends I never forget :)
I think a girl and guy can stay friends 'forever'. I think it's easier if both have a commited SO so there are no feelings that might develop? And if your SO likes your friend, that's even better.
And it's true, when you're a girl with alot of guy friends, you'll eventually fall for one of them or one (or more) will fall for you.
I disagree. I've had the same guy friends for years. We've all been in and out of relationships too. Those friends don't sound like real friends. Real friends will stick around for good.
Guys can cause drama also. My now former friend bottled up his emotions over stuff and took his anger/pain/emotions out on me and my friend, and now he's afraid to face us. So I suppose guys and girls can't be friends forever.
ummm.. i think it depends. my closest guy friends, we've been friends for 7ish years... and i don't think they're going anywhere.
once my guy friends got married our friendship was over.
One of my guy friends and I have been through quite a bit of drama over the almost-three years we've known each other, but we've managed to remain friends. Whenever I said that I don't think we should talk anymore because our past makes it too painful, he insisted that he wanted to stay friends and that he didn't want to stop talking to me. So we're good now but since I moved to Japan we've been talking less often (which is on him; I'm online all the time and he's been too busy to sign on). He also has a girlfriend, so I imagine he'll probably get married way before I do and the talking will cease altogether. Oh well.
I don't think it's right to base this on gender. A lot of friends whether they are girls or boys, end up falling out of touch even if they haven't moved away, or are still part of the same crowd. It's bound to happen for some people.
Some of my best friends who I have been friends with since I was 15-16 are boys, and they are still around. Reckon I live about 2 and a half hours away from where I grew up, everytime I'm back in town, we end up getting together. We have phone calls at least once a week, and msn conversations. I never really got along with girls, I just couldn't handle the drama, and the constant games that went on with girls. I've had a lot of falling outs with friends, but generally the male population of my friends stay the same. I think it has more to do with the foundation of the friendship then it does gender.
Some can, but I admit most of my close guy friends drifted out of my life eventually as time went on..
well i think you didnt treat them like friends as much as ego boosts. because you were talking about flirting with them, which is fine, but if you see them that way/treat them like that- than they probably wont stick around.. because things/relationships change.
depends on how things play out but most likely yes, guys and girls can't really stay friends forever, or at least can't be as close on a friends level forever, they may end up acquaintances if anything. for me, once I had a gf, it didn't even mattered if it was my female or male friends, I basically didn't see them around as I was a bit wrapped up in my relationship (a good relationship btw, we broke up and became friends, kinda funny but that's probably for another time to tell) so after that, I'm back to seeing my friends, in many cases, you can consider it as me being an a$$ to my friends, but they were understanding about it, I at least got to see each of them on individual terms here and there while I was still in my relationship but it wasn't until the break up that I saw everyone together as one big group, anyhow, it just depends on how things pans out but you're more or less correct
All of the girls I used to be friends with got married-and that relationship died in an instant. Since I'm not married myself I don't really talk to them anymore.
I say it depends on the guys. I have a handful of guyfriends & so far I havent had drama. I just started dating one too but we agreed before hand that it wouldnt ruin our friendship if it didnt work out.
As for the girlfriend/wife factor, as long as the guy states upfront that his ladyfriends are just friends, she has nothing to worry about. Insecure girlfriends are what usually ruin guyfriends for some girls.
i've been in the same group of guy friends for 7 years....i truly believe we can make it til the end of time haha
i think once people get married, its harder to maintain friendships, no matter what gender.
I'm friends with guys mostly as well and they stick around like locusts sometimes and I can't get rid of them. I've had the same group of friends for over ten years. I honestly prefer guy friends to girl friends because they really don't backstab me or do horrible things to me in the end. Usually it's my girl friends who never stick around, not the guys.
nope. i still have all my guy friends. but the odd thing is, only a couple are married.
I've been friends with one guy for going on three years. Neither of us sees any reason to end the friendship. I think we'll be friends for another several years. (He's 60 and I'm 23, by the way.)
I never had long term guy friends or even short term guy friends. maybe because I have girly interests and don't relate to their interests. the ones that I've known from school are boring
no wonder there is no drama, they are boring but it does depend because some guys are fun to hang out with, usually the mexican cholos are funny and outgoing lol the asian guys at my school were boring. I've had guy friends during college but sometimes they made more than friends comments that made me feel awkward. anyway, my small group of female friends are fun. life happens with female friends, too, lol. when my friends get bfs, they disappear. or they move far away to school.
I agree. I'm only 16 so I don't have direct experience with this yet, but I understand how that could happen, especially with married men.
The good ones will stick around even though they might not always there when you wanted them to be, especially when they develop some sort of feelings or have an SO of their own.
i'm still friends with all my guy friends who are married or in relationships.
While the "guys and girls cannot be friends without one eventually wanting something more" thing holds true for like 97% of the time, there's still the 3% where guys and girls are friends with never a second glance at elevating the relationship. I just think what you experienced was what happens with most guys and their friends - they move on or drift apart. It's just a guy thing.
I have to say that this has been my experience as well. I would love to be proven wrong and well, maybe one day one of my guy 'friends' will stick around for good. For now I'm not keeping my hopes up.
@chauwie2you@xanga - Will I leave? XD Yeah I'll log off and never come back DX
@drunkdevotchkababy@xanga - agreed
@tictact0e0@xanga - Agreed