Friday, 15 October 2010
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Going Through a Break-up? Moving On Isn't Easy, But You've Gotta Do It-- Sever Those Ties!
When it comes to relationships, we've all been hurt. You invest your time in a relationship with someone you believe appreciates it; but later on down the road, you discover that they didn't and it throws you for a loop. Maybe your mate comes to you and says that their heart just isn't in it anymore. Maybe you discover that your mate has been unfaithful and has been lying to you. Maybe your mate has come to you in all honesty and told you that they have begun to develop feelings for someone else and wanted to be straight forward and honest with you about it.
Whatever the case may be, when a relationship comes to an end, it isn't an easy thing to deal with.
After a breakup, we all tend to go through a range of emotions. What usually leads that range is anger, but eventually we reach acceptance, which allows us to move on. But the key is working our way through the anger quickly so we can get to the place where we accept the fact that the relationship is over, so that moving on is actually possible. Now I know it’s a lot easier said than done.
We have the tendency to reevaluate play-by-plays to try to figure out what might have gone wrong and why the relationship ultimately wasn’t successful, but doing that will only make you angrier. Especially when you come to the realization that you gave all that you could and it still wasn’t successful. But it’s something we all do because it’s human nature.
One thing to hold on to is that when the relationship is over and you’ve gone through the “grieving” phase, moving on will allow you to reconnect with yourself and eventually with someone who will truly appreciate you and your efforts.
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- From: WhenAManLoves@xanga
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Comments (16)
severing ties isn't always the solution. my boyfriend broke up with me recently, and we went right back to being friends. for us, severing ties wasn't the answer, continuing the friendship was.
@dude_this_world_sux@xanga - I think that only happens in special situations.
I agree with this post, most of the time its better to get away from each other.
@UnconventionalButterfly@xanga - i think avoiding them and staying away is only a temporary solution. the feelings can go away, then as soon as you see them again the feelings are there just as they were before, and it could be detrimental to current relationships.
@dude_this_world_sux@xanga - Then maybe never talking to them againwould be a better idea? Lol its worked for me :P
@dude_this_world_sux@xanga - I'm the same way you are. I'm still friends with my exes and being friends actually helped shape our friendship better. I'm just someone who believes that ties shouldn't be severed, especially if no one did each other wrong.
great advice.
yes but what's the time lapse from grieving phase to moving on?
I agree. I had been holding on to the friendship until someone pointed out that only I was the only one that cared. It's been almost three months and I'm completely over him...in fact, I've almost forgotten him :)
FYI: He wasn't bad...or a douche. We just had differences.
it depends on the reason for the breakup. some can remain friends, some can't. usually I can't be friends because I resent him for being the main person to destroy the relationship.
my boyfriend and i broke up on monday. we haven't talked since. he was a dick, and knowing that makes it easier, but it's still hard to go from constant contact and being and love to nothing whatsoever.
@laytexduckie@xanga - i completely agree.
me and my boyfriend are on a break and the only thing keeping me going through this is the hope that we will eventually got back together.
weve both been so depressed lately and hes confused and cant handle a reltionship, but he says he still loves me.
i cant stand any of this.
tomorrow will be a month we were on a break.
i miss him like hell.
i need help.
Severing ties is more complicated when you live together and have no savings and no one to move in with temporarily to completely end the relationship
just ended my somewhat of a relationship less than 24 hours ago. We were good friends from the beginning and even though I keep going thru and replaying all our memories together, I think it was the right decision to stop. Hopefully we'll get that friendship back as well.
@dude_this_world_sux@xanga - this was my situation too! against the advice of many others.
One should really stay strong to get over from an unfortunate relationship. He or she must always seek for help to his or her family and friends. It isn't the end of everything if a relationship ends. Sooner or later one will find someone who is fitted for him.