So, it's a few weeks in and all is well in the world of you and your new beau. The attraction is there, you have good conversation, and maybe this relationship could make it past the four week mark.
Then, the two of you are out and about and you bump into his or her friend... You notice that s/he's more attractive and a completely better catch then what you originally baited in.
What do you do when you have the hots for your beau's friend? Would you tell your new beau to "Go Fish" if you were looking to real in his or her pal?In college, I made a dating mistake.
Don't we all though? At first, I thought my beau was slightly attractive, friendly and a good match.
We were sitting in the cafeteria of my college and his friend came up to say hello. My beau's friend had me at "Hello". I was smitten.
He was dark and handsome. He played an instrument and even believed in God.
Clearly, I should've held out and caught this big sea bass. Of course, in my hurry to find love, I had to settle for second best... my beau at the time.
I knew my beau noticed my flirty conversation, direct eye contact, and giggle fit. He turned and looked at me to see if I would stop. Shamelessly, I didn't.
Lesson: Meet your beau's friends and family before taking the big relationship step. You'll make sure that you don't make the wrong decision...
Have you ever had a crush on your beau's friend(s)? Did you regret your decision to date your beau?
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Comments (23)
Sounds like you didn't really like him in the first place if you were looking at his friend.
so talk to the average guy that you're initially interested in, then be introduced to all his family and friends before dating him. then that would be like he is the matchmaker and he doesn't even know it. that's quite harsh lol aside from his family and friends, there are attractive men everywhere or always someone cuter than whoever you're with, so just don't settle for slightly attractive until he is the total package.
Most guys/girls will probably not willingly introduce you to their family before you officially begin a relationship.
wow.. that's effed. poor guy.
@aotolife@xanga - I wouldn't even introduce girls I liked to my friends until we'd been on a few dates to guard against exactly what happened in the OP's post. Competition is hard enough, having to compete against my own friends flat out sucks.
@UnconventionalButterfly@xanga - I agree with that.
@aotolife@xanga - Agreed. If we aren't dating officially..then my bf can't meet my family..
my boyfriends best friend isn't attractive.
but when I'm in a committed relationship I tend to only have eyes for the one I love.apparently this is a rare quality I posses.@LikeaMothToAFlame@xanga - very rare.
Neither way, I think it's awkward. Even if you met his families and friends and found a better catch, what are you going to do about it? Dump him and talk to his other family member or friend?! You'll just be showing his families and friends a side of you that is clearly not attractive. In fact, it'll show em your true colors and the guy you dump would be clearly happy you did him a huge favor.
People shouldn't settle for second best. Everyone should settle for someone they deserve and know would be best for them. The wait is worth it. It's just so wrong for you to gawk and shamelessly flirt with others when you already have a significant other by your side especially if that someone is a family member or friend of your beau.
disrespectful on your part. tsk.
Um...just don't date people who aren't the best? :) At least that's what I plan on doing now. I'm at a point in my life where I'm done with games, so yeah.
yeah...if you meet fam and friends, that's a pretty big step. if you're not sure about it, then don't start anything. that's not fair.
I met a few of my boyfriend's friends, but I was never interested in them. To be fair, it was only a few friends because he was from Texas and lived out here for a year so I only met a few friends he had who were out here, but I don't think I'd be interested in any of his friends.
I think it kind of depends on how long you've been dating the person and how serious it is. Obviously if it's only been a few days or a few weeks you aren't completely attached to a person so it's way easier to become attracted one of their friends who probably possesses similar qualities because they are friends. It's natural to be attracted to other people even if you are already dating someone. I love my boyfriend and all, but if he was like best friends with Ryan Gosling and introduced me to him, I'd probably have to keep my mouth shut to keep from drooling and giggling. I think people are being a little harsh on here about how you obviously didn't like your boyfriend or you were being mean. Especially in younger years, like in college, it's more common to be attracted to more than one person. I know I dated a few guys throughout high school and was attracted to other guys and would dump my current boy for someone else. I was young, stupid, but I had a blast getting to know all these new guys and realizing what it was that I wanted in a guy. It's a trial and error with dating. I think this is a more common trend then people are letting on.
that was flat out cruel of you to do. i think that you were attracted to him should have been an eyeopener for you to break it off, yes, but not by rubbing in his face how much more attracted you were to him. if you were in those shoes, your heart would have been crushed.
This is really shallow. A guy i was dating moved on to my best friend at the time after we broke up. We were never in love, but it was so immediate that i saw it as sleazy & it ruined our friendship.
It's a little less extreme, but it's like being a friendship homewrecker. How about just looking for love instead of trying to find as many hot guys as possible before you make your decision? That's just stupid.
@UnconventionalButterfly@xanga - You're right!
@haltija@xanga - @Peace_Love_Insanity@xanga - @huestar@xanga - @jeezshoua@xanga - @TheSecretLifeOfPandas@xanga - As stated in the post, this is back when I was young and dumb. In college, I had no idea who I was or what I really wanted. Interestinglyl, I think the "This is shallow and outright rude" response is naiive. I've heard people come to me on either side of this argument. My guy friend was the one who told me to meet all the friends and family first before making a decision. I'd like for more men to comment on this and see their response. I've also had someone deny showing pics of the family b/c it was thought that I might be more attracted to cousins and siblings. The reality is: attraction is attraction. It happens. You meet someone, don't dig them and move on. Granted, I should've canned the flirting but getting chills when the sparks fly is only human. Chemical reactions don't listen to reason. And I'm sure ALL of you will admit that if you looked at your dating mistakes and mishaps. Thanks for commenting all. I think you're upstanding individuals.
@EBailey@revelife - I understand that you were in college and people make "mistakes", but over all, I disagreed with the morality of the lesson that you got out from it.
Meeting his families and friends before you make a decision (between the two of you) is shallow and rude. If not, what do you call it? I think sometimes people give themselves too much credit.
Sure, you can't help it when you're attracted to someone, but you can control your actions and do the right thing.
Again, I think you or anyone in general shouldn't settle for less than they deserve. Reality is, there are going to be people who are the same or more attractive than your significant other, but you know you settle with him or her because you know in your heart, you do have the best one standing right beside you.
Poor guy.
I have small little crushes on some of my SO's friends, but that's it. Nothing that I get myself worked up over...you can always focus on the ways that you and their friends wouldn't work out, if you're having too much of a problem with it.
@LikeaMothToAFlame@xanga - hi5, me too. It's like everyone else disappears! I wish everyone was like this
Nah, most of my boyfriend's friends aren't as great as he is. :)
Absolutely not!!