Thursday, 07 October 2010
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Just A Quickie: Do You Ever Feel Paternal?
I rarely used to ever think about this. However, every time it is that time of the month for me, I feel so... maternal.
But does the thought of wanting a baby ever occur to guys before they have a baby on the way?
I never felt this way before I met my current boyfriend. Every time I have my period and I watch those baby commercials, my mind is focused on that mother that is playing on the floor with her 2-year old, or the father that is engaged with his son playing games.
I cringe, I yearn, I try to picture myself bulging with a 5 month old bump and the pregnancy glow beauty that I sometimes envy.I'm 22 years old and I plan on being in school for the next 8 years of my life pretty much. So does the boyfriend. We've only been together unofficially for a year now almost, and I'm afraid to admit it without seeming weird and awkward.
How have you mentioned this topic to your boyfriend/husband/s.o.? How did they respond? Do they ever feel paternal with you?
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About the Author
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- From: crashthedr3am@xanga
- About Me: There comes a time when the world gets quiet and the only thing left is your own heart. So you'd better learn the sound of it. Otherwise you'll never understand what it's saying.
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Comments (23)
I feel the same way as you! I'm 21 but I definitely feel maternal sometimes, and I've talked to my boyfriend and we both feel the same way. He said that if I were to get pregnant by accident that he would be really happy about it. Obviously, we're both not planning that because we're in school and trying to make money before we start a family, but talking to him about it made me feel better about it if the situation were to happen.
Good luck talking with your SO!
Personally, I think this is a talk that needs to be had in any serious, bound-for-marriage relationship. You have to make sure you're both on the same page kid-wise, otherwise you're in for a great deal of strife and conflict. I have broached the subject with my husband--even before being engaged--and we both agree we want two, no more than three kids. Right now, the only thing stopping us from having kids is money. He wants to be sure he can support us and a baby. Otherwise, he definitely is feeling the paternal thing. He's even buying up Disney BlueRay movies so we have all the classics for when we have kids.
So yeah, if the time is right, the talk is a good one to have. It doesn't have to be "How many kids do you want to have with me?" so much as "Do you want kids eventually, and if so, how many?" Takes less of the awkward factor out if you're feeling weird about it.
-Katie
@akatiegirl - I agree 100%.
It's really important to discuss these things in a serious relationship, if you two are not at all planning on breaking up and you plan to be together for the long-run, then this is a talk that needs to happen. Also, if you are unsure where your relationship is headed, then that's also another talk that should happen before the baby talk. Open communication is important for health relationships. You shouldn't be afraid to talk to your SO about these things. Just start it out by saying, "This might be kinda awkward but it's been on my mind lately..." or something like that.
Rage For Love
I have the same thing I really want a child around that time of the month, like really bad. My behavior changes and I see things in a totally different way. I live with my sister and her small children and I find myself extremely jealous.
@akatiegirl and @aotolife@xanga - Agreed
In a way, I've had this talk with my bf already as we plan to be with each other for a long time and even get married. This is kind of talk is very important to have with someone in a long time relationship or otherwise it won't work. Simple as that.
I work with little kids and sometimes I feel super maternal. and then they annoy me and i'm like cool, thank God I don't have kids.
I've mentioned it to my boyfriend and we're definitely going to have a family after we've been married for a year or two. We can't wait either. I've seen the way he looks at babies. He make make fun of us women who swoon over infants. But he has the look. And he loves playing with kids. It's a beautiful sight to see.
Pretty sure I have no maternal instinct whatsoever. Frankly, kids annoy the crap out of me. Every time I stop by my mom's daycare, I just shrink back in a corner cringing, hoping that none of the kids will pay any attention to me. Hell, even the idea of pregnancy freaks me out. Sorry, but the idea of having this little alien-looking thing growing inside me just gives me the heebie-jeebies. Pretty sure I'll go the adoption route if I ever have a change of heart towards kids, but I kind of doubt that will happen. For now, I'm just focusing on redirecting any shred of maternal instinct towards my new kitten. :)
أفلام عربى
اعلانات الافلام
الافلام الاجنبية - Foreign films
Movies untranslated
الافلام المترجمة
رقص - dance
كليبات
كوميديا - funny
مصارعة
My husband actually want children (right now). As or me, I'm kind of so and so about the subject. I'm still in school and I want to get my career before I actually plan on having a child. But we're not using any sort of protection nor anything either. We both agreed that if it happens, it happens! We'll just find a way to make everything work.
@TheSecretLifeOfPandas@xanga - Ha! I used to feel that way too when I worked with 60+ kids on a daily basis.
@jeezshoua@xanga - lol.
we talk about it casually. we know we'll have kids one day. just not right now
i have absolutely crippling bouts of motherly instinct. but usually they are directed towards cuddly animals.
I feel always get that feeling with my period haha :) Thankfully I can openly talk about it with my hubby and we've decided we're going to start "trying" anyways...it won't be just some weird time of the month thing anymore!
I haven't exactly had this feeling yet, my bf and I don't plan to have children anytime soon for sure, marriage will come first and that's a couple years away, we're too young as of now.. but we have talked about our future dream home, cars, things we will want to do when we have children, and how much children we will want to have x]
I'm not even 20 yet and I've felt maternal before. I don't even want kids. It gets annoying to me, but I'd rather have the feeling and deal with it and not have kids than not have the instinct at all and have kids.
I am not very paternal at my core. Little kids are somewhat cute when they can talk...as long as they aren't obnoxious. I'm great with pets, but another person? I'm not sure I want that responsibility...
Anyway, I once felt paternal. I think it was due to a heartwarming movie I had just seen or something and then..I later saw this kid throwing a tantrum at a store. It was awesome. He looked like he was breakdancing out his anger back near the changing room in Kohl's.
No, I don't think I'm very paternal. Dogs are as close as it gets. Or adopting. I don't want a kid from my own womb. Ewie.
The topic was brought up long ago, but has become a bit more pervasive now that so many people around us are getting married or having babies (oddly, none with both so far). We're both still in school, me for my BA and him for his MA, so no parenthood in the plans for now but we did finally come to the agreement that if it happened, we could never reject a child created in love even if it was inconvenient timing. The topic made my SO uncomfortable at first, but hey, if you're going to be having sex at all you need to know what the plans are if things happen!
@TheRedheadChronicles@xanga - Aren't you a female? Paternal is a male's version of feeling fatherly....
I am a few years older than you, but I had never had any maternal feelings until maybe 2 years ago, but I still am afraid to become a mother just yet. (You know, the whole "I don't want to screw up another human being" thing.) My husband and I have been married 2 years now and I see all the mommies with their babies and think, "hey, why not me?" My husband and I want to start a family now, and it's not as easy as it looks to get to that point. I used to think, OMG, why would you want to have children? They poop and pee in their pants, make a mess and be obnoxious in general. But now I see the other side of things and think that it could be a good thing. We've had this connversation already, he's really excited to be a daddy. He thinks about how our children should be raised (chores, private school, part jobs at 16, etc). I think he's going to be a great father
I want to have kids so bad! im only 20 though, so im going to wait a little while.. but i just melt every time i see a baby!