Sunday, 03 October 2010
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Wait, So... If I'm Not Having Sex... Does That Make Me Lonely?
I posted a blog a couple of weeks ago about playing with toys, and got a message from someone on Xanga saying they were sorry I was lonely, which I had never said in the blog. Just because I’m not having sex does that make me lonely? I’ve heard it said. And I guess it fallows in the logic used here, if I don’t have an SO it means I’m not loved.
I do feel like that at times, lonely I mean, but the thing is, I’m not really, I’m struggling in life at the moment, but that’s because of life, not lack of SO.
It’s an interesting idea to me. I don’t mean to put down people who are in relationships with sex, or simply have a lot of sex, but that hasn’t been what I’ve had as a priority in my life, ever. I’ve tried it, it’s not that, It’s just not as important to me as other things, and the time spent getting laid to me doesn’t equal lonely or not.
What do you think? Not sharing a bed mean that someone is lonely or unloved?
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About the Author
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- From: coralcwayla@xanga
- Name: coralcwayla
- About Me: I'm a people watcher, and story teller, I used to blog on myspace, but I'm liking Xanga much better, it's fun to read other peoples stuff, and I love writing about my life, a lot of my content is more like my own Log at this point. My current topics mostly include dating and stuff to do with my job working as a mechanic.
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Comments (37)
Not really. It doesn't mean anything..
I don't think it means you're lonely at all. I've been single most of my adult life but not lonely that whole time. Sex isn't the most important part of a relationship in my opinion either, just because someone "isn't gettin' any" doesn't necessarily mean they are unwanted or unloved either.
doesn't make you lonely, If I could be with the girl of my dreams I wouldn't need sex. Just holding her would be enough or caressing her.
Hell to the no. I'm not in a relationship because right now I can't be bothered with one. Love yourself, that's what I say.
It was a silly thing for anyone to assume, really.
from your anecdote, it does seem that you're lonely, but the cause isn't from lack of sex. Sex and loneliness are only correlated :P
Whoever said that to you was stupid. I've noticed a fair amount of people on Xanga love to assume, never read in-between the lines or at least never simply ask the OP what they meant. I wouldn't take those people very seriously, especially if they're not going to make the effort to understanding where you're coming from first.
@lilblucherrygrl@xanga - Agreed.
no. def. not. you do not need to be sleeping with someone to be considered loved or "not lonely."
It's not that I feel lonely. I'm not even a particularily horny person. But I haven't had sex in what feels like a long time, and I've been single even longer, without an, "End," in sight. I'd like to be dating somebody. But I'm not lonely because of it.
agree. Everyone looks for different things in life!!!!
sex with yourself is the most effective way to get an orgasm anyway ;) haha
of course yur not lonely, just means you have morals and possibly waiting for a special person to come along, keep it classy - - sex is way better when intimacy is involved, not just body parts and hormones.
Not having sex is not synonymous to lonely, no. You could be participating in mass orgies every day and still feel lonely.
Hell no it doesn't mean you're lonely! You don't need sex for a happy or to feel not lonely. Whoever said that probably bases their relationships and life on sex and will eventually, I hope, learn that there is more to the world than having sex and more than just sexual organs to people.
People need to understand there's a difference between being a 'alone' and 'lonely'. tsk.
No, it just means you're not having sex. DURR.
Also, being alone doesn't correlate to sex. Why do people think that?
totally do not agree without sex without life...lol
lol what?!?! Whoever that was, she was a serious dumbfuck. Masturbation is about loving yourself & it's STD free- keep doing what you're doing as long as it makes you feel good & let the haters hate. =]
Um no. I'm not having sex. I'm in a relationship though. We're waiting to have sex until we're married. I'm not lonely. At least I don't feel lonely.
Not at all. I think it probably means you're smart enough not to get into a relationship you don't really want to be in. I've been single, I've dated someone I wasn't attracted to, and I've dated someone I was attracted to. Dating someone I had no feelings for was way more lonely than being single.
PreMarital sex is the main reason why couples do not last. it depreciates the value of a relationship. I have not had sex in about 14 months, maybe longer, and I regret doing it before, because its supposed to be special, wonderful, like I wanted it to be when I was fifteen. I am not lonely now, but I do sometimes feel a gaping hole in my heart. We all need companions, as well do I, but I'm ready to just leave the consummation to after marraige.
I love that you are standing up to that idiot that sent you the message. More power to you. I agree with plenty that you say here - Sex has never been my priority in life either. I am glad another person thinks the same way haha. I've been in a relationship for 3 years and sex hasn't been extremely important to me, and I have been far from lonely (:
@OfficerPandy28@xanga - Thank you, that was the idea, but I also wondered how many people feel the same way.