Thursday, 30 September 2010
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Make Him Fall In Love With You: Secrets Most Women Don't Know
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have any man you desire throw himself at your feet in total devotion to you, willing to risk EVERYTHING just to be with you?To make that happen, you need to know the right way to connect with a man, and stop using all the wrong roads that most women think work, but instead just push men away and prevent them from connecting with you- deeply and emotionally, so your relationships are only temporary or never happen at all.
All they ever lead to are a buddy, a "player" or a man just "passing through" on his way to the "real" love of his life. And you need to stop taking them....right now! If you want to inspire his affection and commitment.
Wrong Road # 1: The Logical Road (MIND)
You can shine during a discussion, talk about facts and opinions, and you have a lot in common. You'll impress a man and make him enjoy your company, but you may feel disappointed to learn that he feels no CHEMISTRY.That's because when you try to connect with a man through his mind, he doesn't FEEL a connection in an emotional sense.
He never feels like he's about to lose control of himself and fall in love.
Wrong Road # 2: The Physical Road (BODY)
If you're hoping to get to a man's heart through sex - all you will get is a broken heart.Despite what a lot of women think, men do not become attached through sex, even if it's fabulous. We've all been sold on the idea that a woman who likes sex, is available for sex and is "good" in bed is ALL IMPORTANT to a man.
And it's not. It's just a small part of the whole picture for him.
All it does give you is a "sex buddy." Not a partner, not a boyfriend, not a husband. You'll also end up devastated because you'll get so attached to him and he won't want anything "real" with you.
Wrong Road # 3: The Spiritual Road (SPIRIT)
There are many, MANY women who value their relationship with what different cultures have a different name for - God, The Universe, The Divine, Spirit, Universal Love... and truly value being with a man who shares their values and spiritual interest and commitment.And it's SO EASY to mistake the friendship that can grow between two people who worship in the same way, who care about the same things, who are devoted to their families or community, for a passionate, emotional bond.
And yet, all that will get you is - at best - a deep friendship, and at worst - a man who takes advantage of or just simply enjoys your "niceness."
He'll tell everyone what a great woman you are, but he won't be dreaming about you night after night or longing to hold you in his arms.
So if we can't win his heart by connecting with his mind, body or spirit... what do we do?
WE CONNECT THROUGH HIS HEART!
In order to connect with a man's heart, so he'll feel compelled to be with you, and worship and adore you the way you deserve, you have to drop down into YOUR heart first. Once he feels your heart, he'll open up his, creating a heart-to-heart connection that begins with expressing your feelings and being your most feminine, authentic self.
Most women buy into the lie that "men don't like emotions." But the truth is, a man LOVES emotions. He yearns for a woman who can help him feel his own feelings and therefore allows him to be himself. If you're not in touch with your feelings, he won't feel safe expressing his.
So here's your action plan: The next time you start to feel something around a man, don't second guess yourself. Don't talk yourself out of your feelings or stop yourself from expressing how you really feel.
Let's say he's hurt your feelings by acting moody and distant on a special date. Instead of "letting it go" or "stuffing it down" you can tell him exactly what you're feeling. "I feel confused and worried about what's happening here. Is there something I should know?"
Go ahead and experiment. Speak the truth without anger or drama. Say what you felt and what you feel. Don't blame him, don't make him wrong, just say what happened, how you feel. Remember, you don't know why he's doing what he's doing. All you know is you.
The trick here is learning exactly how to express your feelings - in words that will draw a man closer in an amazing way. The usual way we express our feelings comes out sounding either stifled, inauthentic or critical to a man, and does nothing to connect with his heart.
(Please note I do realize this is NOT the case with every man).
What method do you use to win men's hearts?
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- From: MistakenDreamer@xanga
- About Me: '...achievement is the knowledge that you have studied and worked hard and done the best that is in you. Success is being praised by others, and that's nice, too, but not as important or satisfying. Always aim for achievement and forget about success.' Helen Hayes
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Comments (58)
#1 - That's kind of not true. I always have guys throwing themselves at my feet because of my mind. However, it's only intelligent men that appreciate my intellect and aren't intimidated by it.
If we're talking purely having them respond to bait, I simply flirt like hell. Successful flirting is a combination of intellectual, playful, and coy. Make him wonder what you think about this issue or that one, and you've got a good base to work from. It's all about the actual connection between people. If you make a connection, no matter how tenuous, you can always build from it. If you two like each other, it can go from there. That's the beginning.
How to keep a man? Don't pull any of that female bull****. Say what you mean, and know that when he says something, he means it.true.
nice.
Guys tend to like girls who are real and don't play games. Usually.
There is no secret formula for making a guy fall in love with you but being honest and real expedites the process. If he likes you, things can go forward. If he doesn't, you'll know it isn't meant to be.
@Wait_by_Moonlight@xanga - That's the best advice I think. If you have no common ground..then probably the relationship won't work too well. But I agree with all of your points there.
Hmm.. interesting.
What about through his stomach? I make my boyfriend food sometimes, haha...
this is complete bullshit
mmmm idk, I dont really know how love happens or really try I just let it come naturally like it should be.
I came to this article thinking to disagree with it, but I have to say that I agree with your points. Connections through the mind, body and spirit are all ways to build upon the foundation of a sustaining relationship (obviously, connections through some venues work better than others) but in the end, love is a feeling and the heart is the bearer of said emotions. It wouldn't be given outrageous names and be called "blind" if it were always a rational and obvious and purposeful decision that two people come to. There is a reason one 'falls' in love and doesn't 'make a super informed decision' about love. It's something that takes root in the heart before it flourishes into the mind, body and spirit.
But, I will say that I disagree with this whole "making" a man fall in love with you. No matter how much one may want to, a woman cannot MAKE a man fall in love with her, nor can a man MAKE a woman fall in love with him.
Everyone should just do themselves a favor and be themselves. It's when we fall in love with the idea of someone or their personality that we start changing ourselves to fit the description of what we *think* our 'beloved' likes. Why put on a mask that will only suffocate you in the long run? Instead work on being the best person you can be for your own sake, and someone will come along to appreciate everything that you are and represent.
Hmm, in my experience, guys loved that I wasn't a dumbass.
Yeah, this is nonsense. Putting aside the fact the mind and body are all that there is to a human being, the three criteria you have listed here as being the "wrong" road are essential components to EVERY human relationship, not just emotional ones. People have to be attracted to one another physically, that is body (pheromones too, if you insist on making pointless distinctions-- since somehow spirit and heart are different from one another); people have to be able to relate intellectually, otherwise there is attraction but not respect.
Being truthful and honest about yourself is fine; it's necessary for being a decent human being. But in terms of what makes up the deciding factors in a human relationship, this makes no sense. Where did you get this from?
@cdedodgethis@xanga - i'm with you.
I think what the OP is trying to say is that the most effective way to make your way to a man is through his heart. As far as I can tell she didn't say anything about intelligence, physical sitmulation or spiritual connection have nothing to do with it, it's more like....those things will only take you so far. They're important, but they don't get you to "the finish line" so to speak. This is true for human beings in general. I can fall in love with a person's logic, attractiveness and spirit...but if my heart isn't put into it then I can't be with them for very long. Without the feelings the heart provides, none of those other things can make the relationship last long enough.
So no, I don't think it's is situational or depending on the person. We are humans. And I'm speaking from experience. I thought being cold and logical like a guy, or trying to be the sexiest thing ever, or the most enlightend person would make him say "I love you". No...it really, really doesn't. All he wanted was for me to be happy with myself and open my heart to him...
Number 1 is most definitely not true with me. I pretty much need to be with a very intelligent woman in order to connect with her really well.
"In order to connect with a man's heart, so he'll feel compelled to be
with you, and worship and adore you the way you deserve, you have to
drop down into YOUR heart first."
F*** you.
Sexism, ROBOTS IN DISGUISE!
@thedommediaries@xanga - Idem.
http://eva-thefallofmen.blogspot.com
I see what you're getting at here, dear. I understand that you're not discounting the other things listed above, just explaining that they are not enough when used individually. I'm just opposed to the idea of "trying to win someone" in general. When did we all stop letting things take their natural course and start forcing people to fall in love with us?
I don't know why so many people are saying this is nonsense or crapp, yea if its "meant to be" it'll jsut naturally happen but not everyone is blessed with a miraculous love story destiny and sometimes the reality of life calls for you to have to 'try' sometimes. I thought this was actually really well written and I can imagine it workign for many people. And she's basically just saying be honest, be real, be straightforward with a man you're interested in. Why is that so 'bullshitty?' lol. I have no idea why some people are beign such asses on here, if it doesn't work for you or you don't want to try this, then don't, there's no need to say fuck you to the author.
This is what I've learned, is that the only way to have someone fall in love with ME...(and this includes myself, because hell I want to be in love with me too) is to be ME.
If I try this or that way to dress, act, talk, etc and it's not ME, then in the end they are falling for a role I play, and I may be real good at the role, but if it's not ME...then I don't really have them.
that being said, there are an awful lot of people in the world, and there is no one pattern that works to snag a partner. So in the end...I may try or use a time tested trick or two to get someone to notice me, but after than it has to be the real deal. So, if that is where the heart comes in, cool. I wear my heart on my sleeve, so I am told.
I don't have tons of men falling in love with me, but the ones who do actually hang around, are doing it because they like/love me.
I've been told by friends AND men that I'd have better luck if I didn't wear my heart on my sleeve and was generally LESS me...but then I'd have a man in love...with something I was not.
My boyfriend and I are stronger because we have the same spiritual beliefs, awesome chemistry, and we are able to discuss anything within our intellectual range.
You are right when you say each of those roads ALONE won't work. But if you have a combination of all three it's a great way to win his heart. My boyfriend respects me because I can have an intellectual biblical conversation with him. He respects me because out of the almost 2 years we've been together our chemistry hasn't died down even a little bit. I still give him goosebumps when I smile at him. He still gives me butterflies when he kisses me. I'm not saying those things won't go away, but when they do they will come back. My boyfriend respects me because we have the same Biblical beliefs and I choose to let my relationship with God grow before ours together. God always comes first in both of our lives.
Also I don't want to be worshiped by my boyfriend. That would mean he's putting me before God. And I never want to be the reason his relationship with God is suffering.
It's definitely a good post to make a person think about how their relationship works. But i don't agree with you on most of what you say.
Oh and to answer your question. Food is the only way to a man's heart. jk.
although i dont neccesarily (spelling?) think thats the way to get him to fall in love, it is admirable to meet people whos walls are completely down. Everyone should follow this advice anyway regardless. Im learning to be more honest with my feelings. And that will save me from thinking i love a person..and save me from some heartache too in that area.
I actually agree here. These are all great qualities, but they can only help build upon the feelings a man all ready possesses. A man who loves a woman will love her whether she's smart or not if she makes him feel great when he's around her. Friendships are built upon the mind, spirit, body (okay, maybe not body), but those can only help what's all ready there in regards to romantic relationships, not build one.
I seem to have no problem making men fall in love... I'm very open about things, and don't play games. I'm really bad at keeping them around for long though (I haven't had a relationship last over a year)... Relationships aren't my strong point, apparently. But I can agree with the above statements.