"No one writes smutty romance novels based on AFTER the wedding." I see that as a challenge, with the gauntlet having been thrown.
I consider myself a romance-novel veteran, having read ... heaven knows, how many. It used to be Harlequin, all the time... but those slowly became almost too predictable. Then, I finally reached a point in my life when I lost all desire to read them, likely because when I saw
The Proposal and something in me snapped (rarely, has a movie made me so angry, but moving on).
Now, I admit... I still read Nora Roberts / JD Robb. I just can't quit her, she's my favorite
(and, actually, the JD Robb series is a great example of post-marital romance - the main characters are married and, incidentally, still have great sex). But most mass market romance novels - I've stopped reading.
In my vast experience reading this genre, I started noticing something: the plot of these books revolved around the main character finding her one true love. It ran amok, from the mousy, repressed librarian to the wild, vixenish diva... but they were all hunting, subtly or not, and they all eventually "bagged" a worthy man.
The book takes you up to the engagement or wedding... and then, you're done, as soon as they say, "I do."
I went to our new Walmart today. I bought salsa, pretzels, Diet Coke, makeup remover, etc... basically, stuff that I use on a daily basis. You know what? People grocery shop. And they fill up their cars with expensive gas. And they go home and put away the groceries, and pet their furry offspring. They pick up dirty laundry off the floor, and stick it in the washer (which, I need to go do.)
In short... people
LIVE, and let's face it-- most of our lives are spent doing unexciting, ordinary things. But romance novels don't show this.
In romance novels, people never take showers unless it's to have wet sex against the tile, never go to the bathroom, never dust, never worry over a credit card bill. When I was pushing my cart today, I thought:
"I want a guy who will go to Walmart with me."How ordinary is this? Very. But to me, it's the epitome of romance... and I know this is not normal. And this is why I think there aren't many romance novels based on after the wedding and I think this is why so many women have unrealistic expectations about marriage.
One of my favorite quotes comes from Jodi Picoult's book,
"Vanishing Acts":
"You pahanas have all these rehearsals for your wedding day... to us, the wedding day is the rehearsal for the rest of our lives." That's what it should be. Weddings... are beautiful, and I can't wait for mine. But it's
one day, in the chaos of a life.
That's one reason why I'm glad Mike and I have had so much time to talk about little things like finances, favorites, expectations, habits. I look forward to my wedding... but I see that as flipping a page in the book of my life to a new chapter.
My book, unlike romance novels, will not end with a wedding and a deep kiss. I think women should spend more time getting to know their SOs, and figuring out if they can live with them and do the ordinary things, like paying bills and grocery shopping and cleaning the toilet because one day, the wedding will be a memory and all you'll have is the pictures.
So yes, I see that opening sentence as a challenge to my writer's mind, because who says that life after you've tied the knot can't be exciting in its very ordinary-ness? Can't be great even as awful moments also slide in? Can't be beautiful, even as you see the worst in someone? That's what I want to see.
What do you think? Anything you'd love to see in romance novels?
True 
Comments (12)
I agree with your view, and I also believe "reality checks" are important. Nevertheless, at the end of the day, I guess the question is: Why do we insist so much on novels' portraying reality? I mean, there is a reason such books are categorized as "fiction" rather than non-fiction, nod?
I have certainly read my share of romance novels. And truly most have the same basic plot you mentioned. I do love when the story isn't so easy and does continue after marriage. Those are generally the ones I come back to time and again.
Honestly there aren't scenes like: going to the bathroom or Sally pays her bills because they are mundane and page consuming. Editors know that readers are busy and are mainly interested in the heart of the story not the normal day to day that they themselves deal with. Personally I'm not interested in the normal stuff 20-something females do because I already know from experience.
I love going to Walmart with my man. I love holding his hand and strolling through the aisles looking at things. It is certainly a romantic moment for me.
Honestly. I would love to see romance novels gone forever.
This is a really great post. In my opinion, finding someone who can come along with you for the ordinary things in life, and make them more enjoyable, is one of the greatest things you can strive for in a relationship.
I agree. No wonder many women have misconceptions about marriage and even relationships/dating.
Chandler: Look, I thought about it too, and I’m sorry. I think we should spend all of the money on the wedding.
Monica: You do?!
Chandler: Yeah, I’m putting my foot down. Yeah look, when I proposed I told you that I would do anything to make you happy, and if having the perfect wedding makes you happy then, then that’s what we’re gonna do.
Monica: Oh, you’re so sweet. Oh, but wait, what about our, what about the future and stuff?
Chandler: Eh, forget about the future and stuff! So we only have two kids, y’know? We’ll pick our favorite and that one will get to go to college.
Monica: You thought about that?
Chandler: Yeah.
Monica: How many kids were we gonna have?
Chandler: Uh, four, a boy, twin girls and another boy.
Monica: What else did you think about?
Chandler: Well, stuff like where’d we live, y’know? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Y’know, we could have a cat that had a bell on it’s collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, we’d have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.
Monica: Y’know what? I-I don’t want a big, fancy wedding.
Chandler: Sure you do.
Monica: No, I want everything you just said. I want a marriage.
I loved this post! I definitely think that one of the things that make a relationship strong is being able to do ( & enjoy) simple everyday things together.
GREAT post. Thanks :)
I completely agree! I think romance novels tend to give woment his warped view of marriage. and they are more out to become dissatisfied with the "ordinary" or day to day things. But lifes little moments are some of the most beautiful and if you can appreciate those you will be ten times more appreciative of those "novel" moments
I know it can be hard to find reality within a romance novels, but no matter if you are married, single or deeply in love I have found one novel that hit all the right notes. English Encounters from ustarnovels puts you and your partner into a role playing adventure that will keep you on the edge of your seat. Life will never be the same again as you recreate the magic on each page starring as the leading character in a steamy love story of erotic romance and spine tingling adventure alongside the object of your wildest desires.
Too true!
This was wonderfully written. I enjoyed reading it, and the way you write is great :)