Wednesday, 22 September 2010
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The Straight Crush
Ah, the straight crush. It is both wonderful and devastating at the same time. If you know that it can go no further than the crush it can be a lot of fun. You get to flirt shamelessly with a very cute girl (or guy, depending on your gay persuasion). And sometimes it can just completely tear you apart when you develop actual feelings for that straight person.It's so easy to do. You meet them. You like how they look. Their style. Their voice. Their EVERYTHING. Maybe you become friends. Maybe you just crush from afar.
Straight crushes develop very easily when you're figuring yourself out. Especially in high school. And I haven't heard of a straight crush ever working out.
I'm currently crushing on a co-worker. It's not a new crush. I fell for her so hard when I first met her a year ago. I'd go out of my way to make sure we were able to work together. After spending a couple of hours talking outside of our store one drizzly evening in the fall I knew I had fallen for her. Just the way she looked with her hoodie pulled over her head to protect her from the light rain. I watched as her breath would cloud a protective case of warmth around the words she spoke as we shared our tastes in music, movies. Our love of photography.
She's perfect. Well, not perfect. You know what I mean. NOBODY'S perfect. But she's my ideal in every way.
I finally worked up the courage one day and asked her for her phone number. She gave it to me freely. And every once in a while we'd text.
But slowly things started to get weird. I had read her as lesbian. Maybe bi. Just some of the things she'd talk to me about. Some of the things she'd ask me. I really felt like maybe, just maybe, this beautiful girl had developed a thing for me back.I asked her out for coffee one day and that's when things went south. Eventually I gave up. I was torturing myself. I'd be so good for her. I'd treat her better than she's ever been treated before.
And it's difficult when you aren't able to make those things happen.So maybe I read her wrong? Maybe her friendliness was just that and I ruined a potentially good friendship because she read me as creepy.
I basically forgot about her after I met my gf (who is now my ex as of recently). But then she entered my mind again when I saw her friend my friend on facebook. So I took a chance and sent a request and sent a message along with it: Long time. How've you been? She added me back. But no response. It's fine though. I know my limitations and I know she's out of my league. Like. Her natural beauty transcends. I'm just average. I try to make up for that fact with a huge heart and a sense of humor.
So now that this crush is back and in full force I've made sure to keep my distance after that initial asking for the add on Facebook. I don't want to creep her out.
If only our straight crushes could give us a chance. I'm sure a lot of them would be quite surprised at what we have to offer.
Have any of you had a straight crush? Did anything go further? Did it work out at all?
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About the Author
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- From: secretsandliesforever@xanga
- Name: secretsandliesforever
- About Me: I'm just your typical next door gaybor. I work. I eat. I sleep. I'm just like you. Unless you're a serial killer... then we're two different people.
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Comments (29)
I like the clay heart in that chicks hand <3
I put off lesbian or bisexual vibes I guess and so I've had a lot of girls develop crushes on me. It's really an awkward situation. I never know what to say. I know they like me, but I just don't like other girls like that. I have successfully had friendships with all the girls who had crushes on me (except the most persistant one, who I avoided like the plague because she scared me) and one of them is actually one of my best friends at the moment.
Anyway, I wish you the best! Sorry I couldn't offer any good advice. :-/
I'm crushing on Bruno Mars right now, but I doubt it will go any farther than me watching his music videos on vh1.
I have a crush on a coworker.
I'm crushing on my boyfriend =)
Oh the straight crush. It's a killer. And you are not just average! Are you kidding me?
If she is strait, it's simple she wont be into you. I am not trying to be mean. Your story is sweet and touching. I enjoyed reading. My heart goes out to you and I wish she was into you so you could be happy with her. If she is strait though she is in to men and there is no way around that.
I am curious, did she know you were asking her on a date? And have you found out she is strait for sure and not bi or lesbian? If you have never asked her this strait out, you should write her a little e-mail asking.
To me it seems you know she is strait though, so on that note..."f only our straight crushes could give us a chance. I'm sure a lot of them would be quite surprised at what we have to offer.." If a strait male who was into you or any other lesbian said this to you, would you think you should give them a chance? Probably not, because you are just not into men like that...
@roxybabe1623@xanga - Great points. I never really thought about it from that perspective... Makes a lot of sense. I'm a bright girl so I have no idea why that thought escaped me. lol
I don't know for a fact that she's straight or bi or lesbian. I just went on my instinct through her actions and the things she'd speak to me about.
I actually feel kind of stupid for the whole "if they'd only give us a chance" thing.
@YeahHer@xanga - Thank you for the compliment of sorts... but I know my limitations. But I certainly make up for it... or try to at least, through a huge heart.
I'm a straight woman and thought that I was only attracted to straight men but I have this crush on this man, who is gay
and I'm sexually attracted to him, so I duno what that means. he is just some myspace superstar that is merely a distant crush.
I once sort of loved my guy friend. He then came out three years later...no wonder he said we wouldn't work. The thing is, I don't really get upset over it or anything. He's my best friend and he's gay, so whatever :)
i have a HUGE crush on my coworker now. except i dont think he likes me very much. either that, or he does, but it really seems like he doesnt. ie: i said hi once and he looked elsewhere and gave me a dirty look as i walked by.
Happens to me all the time.
There was a girl in my yoga class that I never really got to know. We stood outside the yoga room the first day of class and talked for a few minutes. She was really nice and really, really cute. I've never really thought of many women as "cute" before, which was surprising (I'm usually the, "Daaaamn she's sexy!"), and I super crushed all over her. It didn't help that she had a gorgeous body and was a ginger (which is my second favorite sort of girl). I think one day she saw me check her out quickly, and from that point on, she kind of gave me death glares.
In the locker room, she'd hurry up and bolt out with a backwards glance toward me sometimes.
It really kind of sucked because I'm not the type of girl to just invade people's privacy like that. I only like looking at naked bodies if it's offered. It doesn't turn me on to steal glances.
Yeah.
:[
@secretsandliesforever@xanga - You shouldn't feel bad for that "give us a chance" thing. Because I think it all the time, and I think it applies vice versa. For a while, I was positive I was a lesbian, until I gave a guy a chance. It really helped me figure some things in my life out and that maybe I wasn't as exclusive as I previously thought. Really though, I think everyone should be willing to give anyone who isn't threatening or harmful a chance. I think people are really selling themselves short by cutting their pool of possible candidates down by half. :)
I have a crush on him for over 5 months. And I'm quite sure that he doesn't like me. But I have this little feeling bugging me, that I really want to ask him. But since I'm working with him, I'd rather you know, just not ask and get over it. Because if the answer is no, it'll be awkward working wtih him. And I need his reference to pass my internship, my current internship. So I can't let anything personal affect my career. So just get over it. And if he really liked me, he would ask me out that's it.
I'm straight, but I had a crush on a lesbian once (kind of flipped). She never knew though.
:/ My friend friend had a crush on me and groped me until I screamed at her to stop. *sigh*
I'd give a girl a chance though, if I wasn't already dating my boyfriend and felt I could feel that way.
ah the straight crush, unfortunatly thats just what happens, i suppose its the forbidin fruit syndrome. you want what youcant have.
and i know from experiance, great example right, i should take a leaf out of my own book, but im crushing on my best mate, and he is undenyabley and irevocably straight
"sigh"
I'm crushing on this one kid right now, and I think he's crushing back. :] and the majority of my crushes lately have gone in a positive direction, finally.
God.
There was this chick in college...and I never let on that I liked her, but apparently she thought I did. So she got creeped out and backed off. Then after college we got into a huge fight. Figured it all back out again, and then she told me she used to like me. I seriously crushed on this chick for like years [all the while I was dating and getting engaged..haha].Â
After a while though, the flame died a bit, which I didn't mind....but that feeling.....there's nothing like it at all.Â
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Um, I've had a gay crush before on a gorgeous coworker...*sigh*
I generally stick to people I have access too though :p And I'm usually in a relationship, so I rarely have the opportunity to crush on people.
Don't take it so personally, kid - she's just straight and by her nature can't be attracted to you because of that barrier. It doesn't me she can't care about you as a person and be your friend. If she could, maybe she would give you that chance. It's just that the part of her brain that deals with sexual attraction doesn't work the same way yours does. You probably have so much to offer, and you definitely will have the opportunity to offer it to someone.
none for me
People shouldn't be limited by what they think their sexual preferences are. Can't you like someone for who they are, not what parts they have?
@secretsandliesforever@xanga - Don't feel stupid for the "if they'd only give us a chance" comment! I think @roxybabe1623@xanga - makes a good point - I definitely wouldn't go for a guy. However, things aren't exactly the same in reverse directions. I believe in that sliding scale of sexuality, and thus that most people are little of both - some closer to one end, some closer to the middle, all in various ways. And while I've heard of many supposedly straight girls find themselves crushing on other girls, even just once, you don't get this from lesbians, and there's a good reason for that. We work so hard to create this image for ourselves, come out, explain that its not a choice, etc. Thus even if we do find ourselves crushing on that one guy, we won't come out and say it or pursue it, because people would say, "See? you're not really gay, you just needed the right man. I told you she'd grow out of it." Nobody wants to risk that or take so many steps backwards.
Oh, and by the way, I just got my very own new straight crush this weekend. They usually end up being friends only, which isn't ideal, but usually ends with a great friendship! So I try to stay positive about that and aim for friendship first, despite any feelings I have.