Thursday, 16 September 2010
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Skype Sex Is Not For The Meek
I'll be honest. I don't think I'm the most outrageous person in the bedroom (no abnormal fetishes here), but I certainly consider myself comfortable in being able to take charge and try new things when I or my bf is looking to turn on the heat (there is making love and then there is...not).
So why is it that when I agreed with my bf to add a little sexy time in one of our Skype dates (he's abroad for the semester), I went from feeling like I could say or do anything to feeling, well, like I needed to read a manual on Sex 2.0: Doing the Dirty In a Virtual World. Given, neither of us have ever done anything like this...but we're in love and usually feel completely comfortable saying anything to each other! The conversation went a little like this.
Him: So...how should we start this? (This is obviously a good opening liner for any sexual experience)
Me: Well, I mean, we can just do stuff to ourselves only talk dirty to each other as if we were in person. Talking is the key I think.
Him: Oh, OK...
Commence 5 minutes of awkward silence of both of us STARING AT THE CAMERA. I admit I was definitely at fault, but I could not for the life of me get myself to say anything I would usually say in person?
Then there came the big O, except it was just him, and except I missed it because I was probably focusing too much on stifling my laughter.
Did I also mention I was staying at home that weekend? I could hear my dad cheering on the Twins on ESPN in the other room as I'm attempting to get somewhat turned on by masturbating in silence in front of a computer screen.
If you don't find this funny, maybe at the point when he asked me "how are you doing?" as if we were meeting for coffee...then please at least give me some advice.
Is there any way we can fix this experience or should I just bank on waiting until he comes home in 4 months to have a real sex life again?
Have any of you ever done the whole Skype sex thing? What would you recommend for tips and what would you say are the things to stay away from?
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- From: Kateswholeplate@xanga
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Comments (34)
I believe there already was an entry done about this. I haven't...ever..
Haha, yeah its awkward, I know. Its like..."well...its kinda weird to just randomly take off my shirt and bra..." lol.
But yeah, I'd never do it if anyone in my house was even awake. Then again, they're known for walking in any room without knocking.
It can be really hot ;) Just make sure you are alone so you can feel like it's just you two and just tell him what you miss about him/missing doing with him. I'm sure he will be turned on in no time & then hopefully you can loosen up a little too. If you get more comfortable talking to him instead of thinking that you are sitting in front of the computer, you will see how relationship-saving it can be for distance!
It's not really that weird...but I was in a long distance relationship so it was the norm I suppose. Basically teasing each other is a good start. I don't know if you have ever talked dirty online in general, but it's basically like that, only with a visual. The nice thing about video is that you can hide/reveal whatever you want and in my (limited) experience guys can be really into seeing you touch parts of yourself and take off clothing and stuff. It's probably way different than always being in person. Also he has very little control over how much you reveal and what you do, so pushing his patience is effective.
I have haha. It was only awkward cause his parents popped into his room unannounced and bam labtop got shut closed hahaha. epic fail for not locking the door.
I kind of wish I could have seen a video of you and your boy staring at each other for those five minutes, more than I would ever want to see a video of some sexy time webcamming.
show each other what how you are playing with yourself... more visuals that way... its hotter and next time when you are physically you will know what your partner likes.
Haha I feel ya girl. Over my college's winter break last year I had a very, very similar experience. It took me a long time to be able to feel comfortable gettin' busy in front of a screen--everything seems so much more unnatural. However, with time, it got easier, and actually much more enjoyable for myself and my SO. The key is knowing that your SO is on the other end of that and that you should be able to be as comfortable through skype as in person because distance is the only difference.
dress up in a naughty outfit, tease yourself with sex toys as he watches. if you aren't keen on dirty talk or it is too awkward, just compliment him and stroke his ego as he does this thing.
Slowing undressing is a great way to start, or asking for pieces of clothing to be removed. If talking dirty I've found the best way to go about it is to describe a situation that you'd like to try in real life or one that has already happened. For example, "we're in the stacks of the library, there is nobody around. You start kissing me and push me up against a bookcase, you hand sliding up my leg, lifting my skirt..." and take it from there. It helps if you switch off every few sentences. Meanwhile make sure that you both can see each other masturbating and follow what he/she says. If he says he's thrusting slowly, do that to yourself, or playing with your nipple, same thing. Have fun with it! It is great for when you can't be with each other physically and are missing sex!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
"How you doin' over there...?"
*silence*
"Oh.. are you done?" "Oh.. me? No no... babe you finish, you go ahead, I'm just gonna go to the bathroom."
Brave souls.
I couldn't imagine doing something like this. I don't get turned on by it, and I don't overly enjoy masturbation. If my love and I aren't able to see each other for a long time, I would much rather him just look at porn and do it himself, and make him wait until he gets home to have the sexual encounter that he wants to have. I might be a prude, but then again, I know what I like, and what I don't like. If my boyfriend was completely turned on by things like that, which he's not.. because he's not comfortable, then I would try to let my inhibitions down, but for right now I don't have to worry about that at all.
I think being in a place where you can get fully into it without worrying about anyone else is pretty critical. Having distractions is not that great.
Set the mood, and give yourself time.
Otherwise, just keep on counting down the days! The anticipation will make it all the more worth while!
maybe start with a joke? haha
oh man.. i laughed out loud.. hahaha.
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL. No. Can't say I have. But props to you and your bf for attempting. ahhahaaa
@tsuimei@xanga - LOL. That was me and my boyfriend the first time we tried sex online. It just felt so awkward to me and I really had to pee.
The camera can be a little intimidating....it's kind of like trying to be solo porn for each other, which can be awkward & takes some warming up to. Try phone sex first. If & when you get comfortable with that maybe you'll decide to try it again. But it doesn't have to be strictly virtual sex, you could always plan a few mini get-togethers. But the most important thing, really is to talk to him about it. Be open & brainstorm about what you could do to best meet both of your wants/needs during the separation.
Have you had phone sex before trying this? It's very overwhelming knowing that someone can see everything you're doing in front of the camera. The key is babysteps. Try phone sex first instead of jumping right into skype-sex. It'll give you more confidence knowing that they can't see you at all. And if that still makes you uncomfortable, don't talk. Just start touching yourself and you'll begin to make noises that he'll definitely enjoy. Who knows? Maybe he'll join in on that action.
Best wishes! =)
Yeah I do, almost every day. We basically just strip and masturbate to eachother. Nothing too much.
actually, I found that starting off with skype chat works, as well. then at least you're typing what you would be saying out loud. and then you can progress to other things, as the mood strikes you. but when it's forced it's...yeah. not so good. :P
:)
nick portfe1981 .Girls,have Web camera.
Im new To this. Anyone willing to show me my first experience? Add me J.powdrill
im interested in cybersex but have never done it before. I am a guy 18 years old add me on skype my name is kaylubwit and i have a webcam