I couldn't help but hear about a recent discussion on the radio, and it was about Jessica Simpson buying herself an engagement ring.
WHAT? Her reasoning is that her boyfriend-now-fiancé is broke. OK, but really?First of all, this ruins the whole point of being engaged.
Second, a girl never buys an engagement ring (unless they choose not to talk about it).
And third... what the heck? I mean, I know every girl deserves an engagement ring, but it didn't mean that the girl should buy one to show off that she's engaged.
It should be a gift from the man of the girl's dreams, promising a marriage one day.
Although, I do hear some stories that if a guy cannot afford a decent ring, he buys a cheap one until he could afford a decent one. That's fine. But if a girl buys a ring - and I heard that Simpson's ring is 3k - to show off she's engaged, that is just wrong. Plus isn't it supposed to be a surprise?
I know my engagement wasn't a surprise since he already told me, but he knew my likes and dislikes after going to different jewellers, and he still bought a decent ring at a jewelery store that I didn't go to. (And he is broke too, but he will to work hard to pay it off.)
Do you think this is wrong? Would you buy your own ring?
Recommend
Comments (67)
Every time I offer to pay for something my boyfriend says, "But I'm your boyfriend! I'll pay for it."
Me: No, dude. Seriously; it's a Coca a Cola, it's cool. I got this.
Boyfriend: *Pout* Fine.
I don't care how much my ring costs. If it's cheap; it's my ring. Still means the same thing. But, I'd definately negotiate pitching in for the final wedding ring. Though with my boyfriend, I have a feeling he'd want to pay. lol.
No. But at the same time, the girl has to be reasonable about the ring. My boyfriend and I are planning to get married one day, and the only expectation I have is that it has to be at least 18K gold coated. I don't care about the stone or anything else (only because I cant wear anything below 18K gold coated earrings and I don't want my ring to clash with my earrings).
Maybe that's exactly what he did, but she couldn't accept a crap ring so she bought herself a new one.
yes. I wouldn't buy myself a ring ..... like you said, buy a cheap one until you can afford a better one. She should have just figured out another way to announce her engagment....... or at least lent him the money so he doesnt feel like such a bum who cant afford a ring LOL and then it wouldnt make her look as crazy
absolutely nothing wrong with buying your own ring.
if i had the money and he didnt, i rather him not be in debt bc i want a shiny ring.I don't think it's wrong. Engagement rings with big stones are usually to impress other people, and don't really reflect how much he loves you. I think marriage reflects that.
Why should he buy an expensive ring that he can't afford? I'd rather use that money on the house.
i'd rather wear no ring or a cheap one instead of buying it myself. seriously, call me old fashioned, but i feel like that kind of defeats the purpose. but that's just me. *shrugs*
I would definitely not buy me my own ring. Hence, I'm married but I don't have a ring now bc my husband is broke (a lot of debt from his private college). We're not even thinking about buying a "cheap" ring for the sake that I could just have one. We're actually waiting and saving for it.. it's only a *one time thing* and it'll be worth the wait.
How could buying herself a ring POSSIBLY ruin the point of engagement?
That's what's wrong with women today... it's all about the ring and not about the love. If my boyfriend couldn't afford an engagement ring or couldn't afford one that I wanted, then heck yeah, I would buy it for myself! I'm getting the man of my dreams so I want the ring of my dreams too and if the situation calls for me to buy it myself, then whatever. Engagement is about LOVE, not a silly ring.
I don't care if it's the girl buying a ring for her guy, as I don't believe in gender roles. But buying an engagement ring for yourself just seems like the high school girls who buy themselves roses on Valentine's Day so that they look like someone is interesting.
Personally, I don't care about rings. I am not crazy about diamonds, and I think a big one would just annoy me. I don't think I'd even care if he proposed without a ring, if he was the one doing the proposing. But no matter what kind of engagement ring I end up with (or don't end up with), I don't want to pay for it unless I'm the one giving it to him.
How does it ruin the whole point of an engagement? I mean, the engagement means that you going to be married and are united in an unbreakable bond. That doesn't change depending on who buys the freaking ring. Not all engagements are a surprise either. Mine wasn't. We bought the ring together. I picked out my own ring. Again, that doesn't change the fact that we were going to get married (and did a few months later). And what's up with this shit about buying a cheap one until you can afford a 'better' one? No. My engagement ring was only $100. And guess what? It's mine. It's a symbol of our love and interconnected lives. It is the best. Just because the 'rock' is bigger doesn't mean that it's better!!! The size of the diamond doesn't mean he loves you more! And people wonder what is wrong with marriage in this day and age!!!
@sevencrystaltigers@xanga - I agree. A huge ass rock doesn't mean anything. Save the money for something more important, like the house, or an emergency savings, or a kid.
if he's broke and she's not, why shouldn't she buy the ring?
why doesn't equal partnership apply to an engagement?
wow, sexist much?
if she's the one wearing it, she should be the one buying it. if a ring is a gift, it is not to be expected. why are you entitled to anything because you are a woman?
WOWOWOW. I cant believe people are saying that the Woman SHOULD buy her own ring?
The engagement is very special and if your pulling out a stupid ring, it might not be a deal breaker..but I know its going to go through your head 'wtf was he thinking?'. All guys know how important the ring is. Your going to wear it every single day. If you have to buy your own ring, then sure why not. But I prefer the traditional way when guys ask the girl, and he pulls out a pretty ring thats perfect for her :) I mean..in all honestly weddings ARE about love but weddings are more focused on the female then the male. The father is giving her away, she has that special point where everyone stands for her, she is walking down the isle. The woman is a gift to the man! LOL maybe were a selfish gender...? who knows.
Jessica Simpson has a boyfriend-now fiance???
She can obviously afford a $3K ring, so why not buy it herself rather than settle for whatever he can afford? I mean she's the one stuck wearing it, not him. Engagement is about more than the jewelry, you know. If that's truly the direction you two are headed with your lives, who cares who paid for what? It's just a symbol of the commitment, not the basis for it.
I feel like if the girl pays for it, the guy will have a daily reminder of how he was unable to pay for it and it will be a huge blow to his self-esteem. At least, that's what would have happened with my ex. If the guy doesn't care, then I guess it doesn't matter.
I am pretty much old fashioned and my boyfriend has a lot of bills between paying for college, and car but when he finally proposes with the ring, it'll be soo special and like you said, a surprise, half of the whole point of it.
I think for the wedding band is definitely fine,but I wouldn't want to buy my engagement ring. I'd rather wait a while longer for him to get it then me.
If she doesn't mind who the hell cares? I wouldn't want to of bought my own and actually now that I am married and the ring no longer fits cause ive gained weight I would think to buy a cheap one anyway.
I wouldn't get a ring. Like, at all. Nor would I expect my fiance to get me one. I don't think you need a ring. Shit, I don't even wear jewelry. If they're going to invest some money in something to give me upon a proposal, I'd rather have a Wii. Or a chinchilla.
My last ex-gf's stepmom tried to give me her grandmothers engagement ring. Which woulda been nice if I asked them permission to marry their daughter - but never asked! So definitely felt pushed into staying in THAT relationship
IT'S JESSICA FUCKING SIMPSON. SHE'S A GOD DAMN MILLIONAIRE.
Think about this people, if she decided to marry a regular joe blow who is broke, why the hell would she not spend the money to get herself a nice ring? What, just because she has a man he's supposed to bust his ass to try to pay for her top of the line shit while her money just sits in the fucking bank? That's fucking stupid.
People are so God damn illogical these days. Fuck.
My husband couldn't afford a nice engagement ring at the time, so he bought me a cheaper, but still very nice-looking promise ring, He said he'd be saving up to buy me the ring I deserve, and now I have it. :) But my first promise ring is still very special to me, because of the meaning behind it.
@thedommediaries@xanga - Haha, FOR REAL.
Let's hear that feminist chant now, friends. EQUALITY! EQUALITY! EQUALITY!