Wednesday, 15 September 2010

  • 8 Ways To Win Your Heart



    I'm not much of a romantic, so I present to you: eight ways to win your heart panties.

    1. Dress with good taste.

    As much as we'd like to deny it, first impressions are important. If you're dressed like a slob, you come off as lazy and apathetic, there's no way around it. Even if your fashion choices clash with mine, I'll still give you some respect for putting some thought into the pieces that you assemble.

    Granted, if we're at the gym, I'm not going to care what you're wearing (albeit it be a man-thong), but if we're at a party or out on the town, I will not approach you if you're dressed like you've been homeless for the past couple of months (unless you're going for the grungy-hipster look, then...maybe.)

     

    2. Learn to cook well (and no, coco puffs cannot be passed off as a knock off for caviar)

    I think men underestimate this powerful skill, because in reality, it's a sure way to gain a woman's approval. Not only is it extremely flattering (we know how difficult, time consuming, and expensive cooking a nice meal can be) but having that useful skill could mean more in the future (women are biologically configured to seek marriage mates, adding a whole new dimension to the "husband-can-provide" notion.)

    Besides, a sexy man in nothing but an apron, catering to your every digestive need? What more could a woman desire? Oh, yeah, APHRODISIACS. 

    3. Take care of personal hygiene.

    There's nothing more unattractive than dirty, unwashed hair, b.o., and a face that hasn't been in contact with a razor for the past month and a half. You think girls look drop dead gorgeous when we show up at your house, hair matted like your bathroom rug, caterpillar eyebrows attacking our noses, simply looking beat as hell? Yeah, neither do you.

    Hop in the shower, you dirty boy.

    4. SUBTLE scents.

    I highly doubt that anyone wants a cloud of axe or cheap cologne clogging up his or her sinuses as you walk by. The sexiest and most memorable scents are the ones that you can just smell as you engage in an intimate moment, like leaning in for a hug. Besides, when one is aroused, the body's hot spots (the crook of the elbow, the base of the throat, etc.) warm up and release the fragrance's scent, as well as those beloved pheromones, which will definitely have the girl's pupils dilating in no time.

    Granted, no girl is asking for you to purchase the most expensive scent, but experiment and find one that works well with your chemistry. Fragrances do NOT smell the same on you as they will in the bottle.

    5. Be a great listener.

    Men are visual creatures, and women are auditory ones. Respect our biological differences and embrace what your woman has to say. Hear her out, give advice when asked, show her that you care.

    Don't just label everything that she says as nagging- she most likely is expressing her fears, concerns and insecurities indirectly, hoping that you'll take your mind off her body for one second to sympathize with her. 

    6. Be culturally aware.

    There's more to life than frat parties and keg stands. If i hear one more "what oil spill?" I swear I will reduce my perception of the college-aged male population to nothing but mobile sperm banks. 

    7. Be willing to be vulnerable. 

    There's a time and place to have your testosterone surge, like at hockey games or at bar fights. Do not try and be "hard" with your girl, she will NOT be impressed. Just be real. 

    8. Be a giver. 

    Do I really need to explain this?

    Is there any other points not listed that you think would work in winning hearts?  Which point do you think is most important? 

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