I thought this was more about opening the door for a girl, paying for dinner as a whole, stuff like that.

This sounds more like the lack of initiation on both parties. If you want something, don' be afraid to take matters int your own hands. If he doesn't call you first and you're waiting, give him a call. The idea that the guy always has to make the first move will usually leave you disappointed. On the other hand, (for me, at least), I like it when my girlfriend takes initiative and not have me plan and do everything first (which becomes a bit tiring). Take turns initiating phone calls, dates, so on and so forth. I do this because I want her to understand that her opinion and her decisions matter too.

lol that's all it takes to be chivalrous?
damn standards are low these days haha

@sevencrystaltigers@xanga - Yeah, I'm waiting for someone to pop in and say it's our fault. 'Cause women vote now, therefore men don't ask for phone numbers.

The issues the OP addresses aren't really... chivalrous. They're just lazy guys who maybe aren't entirely interested. Want a guy? Go get him. You're not a princess waiting for a knight anymore. If he's "hiding behind texting" and you realize it's a shitty way to get to know someone, ever consider the idea he may not really care about getting to know you and finding someone who does? You make it sound really hard being a woman, like OH MAN I'VE GOT SO MANY TEXTS AND WE "HANG OUT" SO MUCH, but in reality it must suck buttloads being the guys dating women like that... but life is real hard when all it encompasses is sex and sleep, eh? Right, guys?

... Seriously?! Decent guys aren't really a "rare breed" - I'm just sorry you've apparently had such terrible luck!

First problem is, different women have different tastes as to how to be treated.

I have a particular issue with item 1, the guy offering his phone number.
In particular I understand it to be, basically, a less aggressive approach.  Some women aren't as eager to give out personal information like their phone number to a stranger.  It also means she doesn't have to say 'no' on the spot, or make up a fake phone number, or agree to anything until having a chat later...if she thinks the guy interesting enough to call.  It's basically just handing more power to the woman to choose.  (Which is, yes, the opposite of chivalry.)

Speaking of chivalry, few people seem to remember much about it but a romanticized lobotomized version.
Chivlary involved, for instance, protecting those poor, weak damsels from bandits...and from learning things they shouldn't (or much of anything), and from having to make decisions (like who to marry or the possibility of doing anything besides taking care of the kids and the home for the rest of their lives).

So, basically, I think people should be careful about bemoaning the death of chivalry.  It deserves the stake in its heart.

I agree with Chivalry being dead!

I think the changed has to come from within our society. Teach others through example! No body is going to learn if its not practiced!

There isn't any excuse for a Man not to do the things he's supposed to do (Open doors, pull out chairs, etc) Its not up to us to decide who is worth it and who isn't you do it because its the right and polite thing to do! You don't do it because you "like" that particular person, you do it out of habit! That is how things should be done and the true definition of Chivalry

NO, please do not bring chivalry back.

egalitarian courtesy, please.

I completely agree! Part of the problem though this these women who think it should be chivalry dead and extinct. I know a lot of girls who actually bitch at guys when they try to do the chivalrous thing. So thanks to them a lot of guys have the mind set that they are just going to get called sexist for being a gentlemen to women. I hate it!

I agree with all of this. And I hate the hanging out phenomenon. And I hate when the guys randomly text you and guilt you saying, "Why didn't we hang out?"

BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T FREAKING SET PLANS FOR US. I'm not doing it all and it would be nice if you showed more initiative, I mean come on, at least I'm giving you a chance, stupid. Oh, well. And yeah, texting is lame. Man up and call me, or better yet, have serious conversations with me in person. Okay? Thanks.

I agree with you. And I much prefer a phone call to a text. I love hearing someones voice. I text my boyfriend when he is at work or something, but in the beginning he called me 90 percent of the time & he is the one guy who has been able to hold on to me this long & keep my attention...he must be doing something right.

I personally hated having to set up dates all the time when I was single. Plus having the girl organize something gives you a clue about the things she likes and doesn't like without having to come out and ask. Contrary to popular belief, we can pay attention to things other than titties for more than five seconds, AND recall them.

Also I hate the notion that going for a guy makes a girl look "desperate." It doesn't. It makes you look interested. "Desperate" is hanging on the guy 24-7 while calling him and telling him that no girl could love him like you do. That's desperate. And creepy.

And I always have issues with the term "chivalry" applied to this sort of romantic behavior. Mostly because while real historical chivalry dealt some with how to treat thy fair maiden, it was mostly about shit like honor, humility before God, fealty to your lord, not stabbing other knights in the back while they were in church, and how riding into crowds of peons and chopping off their heads with your broadsword probably wasn't something Jesus would like.

Chivalry isn't dead-it's just not required anymore. I wrote a blog about this on my page a few weeks ago

@MikeWonder@xanga - definitely agree with u man

I completely agree with this.  I've had guys use the "let's hang out" line and lose my attention that they might have had to someone who actually said "Let me take you out to dinner." 

And I won't call a guy who gave me his number... I might text him mine so he can call if he wants, but that's it... I figure if he's really interested, he'll put in the effort, otherwise he must not be THAT interested in getting to know me.  If he doesn't want to put in the effort, it's not hard to find a girl who doesn't mind.  I know I wouldn't be happy with someone who makes me do all the work anyways... so.... if it starts that way, chances are I probably won't be happy.

If I all ready know the guy it's a little different...  Like if we're friends, and he doesn't ask me on an actual date, but we hang out as friends (again, I also see hanging out as a friends thing, not a future relationship thing), and then we hit it off... that's just fine.  

As for texting... it doesn't bother me - mostly because I feel awkward on the phone unless I know the person well, lol.  Same with chatting online... I guess technology has become so ingrained in me that that stuff doesn't bother me.