Sunday, 12 September 2010
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So... I Might Have A Date With A Gay Guy?
This past weekend I went to a small party with about 20 people. I was having a good time dancing with my girlfriends and decided to play a round beer pong (which is not my best sport - maybe my worst). Girls versus boys-- and the one boy was quite cute. We chatted for a bit and then mingled with other people.I pulled my friend aside when I decided that I was done freezing and asked her to grab me a sweater. I don't go for taken guys--I just wanna have fun and I don't like people being hurt because of my actions-- so I was getting the info on him before I pursued. Well he was single-- but she said that people thought he might be gay even though he has been with girls and dated them.
I inquired because i have always thought that I had a pretty good gay-dar. I've been able to spot them when other people couldn't and nothing about this guy was telling me that. She proceeded to tell me that he had dated a girl with a faux-hawk. Ummmmm.... Like Rhianna??? She's flipping HOT. And that makes him gay? She said she wasn't the most attractive.
There was also some story of him going for drinks and at a table with his guy friends he popped a boner. Ummmm...so big deal right? Guys get them all the time in weird situations-- maybe his waitress was smoking hot. I brushed it off. Kinda. All night i was watching how he talked, how he touched me, how he acted. I was starting to trip out a bit because I thought maybe I was over thinking it and maybe it was put in my head. I was analyzing everything he was doing.
A few beers deep and we were in the washroom making out. Not gay! He pulled me into the washroom, threw me up against the wall and went at it. A gay guy would not initiate anything like that... or would he to cover up? Our hot and steamy make out session got cut short by a knock on the door for someone who was going to actually use the facilities for their intended purpose.
So it got a lot more flirty and touchy and we made some ridiculous bet - and me being drunk really didn't think it threw - if he won I went home with him. He I lost - we would go make out somewhere. I agreed, but really wouldn't have minded losing or winning. But he won... and so we drunkenly made it back to his place.
We were falling over each other, making out and taking clothes off too fast or furiously to care where they ended up. He was on top of me making out without any clothes on... then he started making his way down my body... and it felt good, like someone who knew what he was doing and done it before. He started eating me out and I wanted to do him right then and there... and he still wasn't hard.
Question: my experience is that a guy would usually be rock solid after this? Am i over thinking this, maybe he was too drunk?
I decided to go down on him and it took a bit of time but it did happen. He opened up his side drawer and put on a condom on got on top. We went at it for a bit and then he hopped off and started eating me out again. Which normally I wouldn't mind - but I would have liked to keep going for a bit. I went down on him again after wards and he slid back in and went again for a bit. He really liked when I grabbed his ass, and when I got close to his hole he got really aroused. He wanted me to stick my finger in there but with my nails it just wasn't happening.
Then he did the unthinkable. This is the first night and he was going for my ass. Stuck a finger in and I wasnt having it. He told me to give it a try and I let him try again and then I said hell no. He got the point and we finished up.
He did cum, or so he says... Not much for sure.
We got dressed, went for a smoke. He took my number which wasn't really necessary as i thought it would probably jsut be a one night thing. And i hopped in a cab and went home.
The next day all the girls knew I had left with him. I am usually pretty open about my sex life and would say what happened. But i just told them we made out, he took my number, and I went home. I didn't need the talk going around about me and him. And then....yesterday he messaged me. Because God knows guys never pick up the phones anymore to call. And asked me if he could take me out. I said yes and we are going out soon.
I need your help with this one. Please let me know what you think, especially from guys.
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- From: single_21@xanga
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Comments (24)
lol just because a guy wants you to stick your finger in his butt doesn't make him gay...I forget what magazine I read it in, but it's a big thing for some guys. Also, his not getting hard right away could have been because he was drunk? That's what I would think anyway. I think you are over thinking things because of what your friends have told you. He may or may not be gay, but I wouldn't say he was just because he likes it when a chick sticks a finger in his ass =p
interesting....for a gay guy like me, I would have to say it can be tough to analyze. Some guys might want to encourage their penis to get on with the game and arouse himself asap, as some might want to hold back for a moment; to extend the fore-play before actually getting into the oral or anal part.
I have no idea on his sexual persuasion, but thanks for the porn...I needed that. A little unexpected "zing"
So .. what exactly made you want to go out with this guy , again ? ...What from the first encounter left you feeling like it is something you should approach , that it is worth your time ? .I am not asking these questions to be a jerk ! Honestly , im jut curious ....Is it now a challenge for you ? ...
Weird..I don't think he was gay though.
Ever think of just asking about it?
Maybe get him while he's totally sober, and see what happens. He might not have been able to get it up easily because he was drunk (that makes it difficult, for sure). And, he may have kept switching it up during sex to oral because he was trying desperately to get it up. He was probably trying to spare himself the embarrassment. And maybe he just likes anal play...some guys are like that. So don't jump to conclusions that he's gay. Maybe he's bi, or maybe its just a dumb rumor. Either way, if he likes you and you like him, who cares. You're not about to marry him tomorrow or anything so why does it matter?
Some guys don't get "rock solid" from eating a girl. It's not abnormal, and neither is the butt thing. To each their own. And you never know. He might swing both ways.
I've HEARD that some guys can't get hard if they're PISS drunk. Now that varies on what being PISS drunk really is....and that's just something I've heard. Though you really confused me there with the whole putting the finger in the poopoohole....lol
IMO just take it as it is and get to know him, you'll get to find out sooner or later if he is gay or not. But hey, he just might be bi! There are guys who are bi you know! =P
Unless his family is strict or his friends wouldn't like it, what incentive does he have to cover up being gay? He also didn't have to go home with you or try any of that. Just enjoy getting to know him, pants on or off.
Sounds pretty straight to me. Anal play is pretty normal. Could be bi, but doubt a gay guy would eat out a girl, more likely he would just go straight for the blowjob and the anal play rather than wasting time doing something he doesn't like at all.
Maybe he's bi?
Some guys really can't do it when they're drunk. Seriously.
I wear my hair in a faux-hawk sometimes, and that doesn't make any boy who finds me attractive gay. Wth.
he was probably embarrassed that he had erectile dysfunction at the wrong time, so he tried to do the fingering in the other hole thing, to give his willy some time to wake up from limp mode
it sounds like he wanted you to massage his prostate and find his g-spot
some straight men and straight women like anal, not because they are gay or bi, but simply because it is taboo and something they try and like doing with another straight person.
I know what you mean. Not that I'e been in that situation. But I have a friend who is trying to figure himself out. He thinks that he this thing (I wish I could remember the name of it) where because of family and peer pressure and such, you have more trouble than usual coming out to yourself. You make yourself believe that you're not gay. He could be trying to convince himself that he's straight? Who knows. Just casually bring it up if you're really that worried.
So he didnt get a hard on (even tho he was stupidly drunk) and he enjoys his anus being played with? oh that is completely gay. No doubt about it. Only a gay person would like anal. Only a gay guy would take so long to get an erection whilst intoxicated.
Anal stimulation causes pleasure-gay or straight.
Why don't you just bring up a story about a gay friend you have on your date and see his reaction or something?
If he's really worth seeing then just let things play out normally.
"Spot them". Like we're another species?
LOL. I think you're seriously overthinking things. I highly doubt he's gay.
Gaydar is largely a myth. Nothing that this guy did leads me to think that he's gay and even he had a lisp, didn't fondle you at all and dressed flashy like a girl... we still would have no clue if he was gay or not. Just ask the person if you're not sure. The guy you're talking about will probably break down in hysterical laughter if you ask him though :).
@vegaskandigirl@xanga - Agreed.
You're basing most of your assumptions about him being gay on stereotypes, not actual attraction to men and not women (aside from the boner, possibly). How about letting him decide if he wants to see you or not and don't analyze those little things that mean nothing. You have about as much evidence to convict him as gay as any other guy in the world. Sure, maybe he is, but those clues don't offer much support. I think you have much more evidence for him being straight because he umm... Did all of that stuff with you. Don't worry about it.
That's really tough...I have very good gay-dar too, but it;s hard to tell without seeing him in person...It's seems odd to me that he wants you to penetrate him anally. I dont know any straight guys who like that..But him touching you anally is normal. Guys do that. Almost every guy I been with has tried that to me and a lot of them tried to get anal sex. Not that I allowed it, but it's normal for guys to want that from a girl. Him taking it out and then just eating you is weird too.
The shorthaired girl he dated means nothing to me. Maybe she had a feature that stood out over her short hair that he liked. All you heard from your friends are just rumors. Some gay guys do go hard to girls as a cover up, but not many. I only know 1 out of several gay men who have done that.
If you're not shy and you really wanna know, the only way is to ASK HIM. He might get offended. So ask nicely. Just put it as you getting to know him. But even if he is gay, it can still be a nice date although you both know it wont go anywhere.
what does having your partner be gay/bi/straight have to do with a bicycle....?
short hair is just short hair - not a sexual orientation.
gay, straight, bi, pansexual - who cares. you had a hot dude "going at it" - what more did you want? he was even considerate. he could have just shoved your head south and forgot about "your needs".
i don't get what the problem is here. you wanted to hook up with said cute guy. you hooked up with said cute guy. said cute guy is calling you.
you either choose to continue or drop it off right there. you're overthinking things based on some stereotypes and generalizations. just find a polite way to ask his sexual preference to see if you want to continue as a couple. even if he's gay you can still keep "going at it" if he's still interested in you.
shoot. i want a guy like that -minus all the explicit things. XP