Monday, 06 September 2010
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Confessions Of A Teenage Bride
Okay, technically I'm not a bride - yet. I've got another 34 days of being a normal teenager. But was I really normal in the first place?The Beginning Of Something Special
I started dating ST when I was at the tender age of 14. He was best mates and work colleagues with my cousin whom I was very close with. In my eyes, it was love at first sight. Everyone has those moments, right? ST is older than me by 8 years; nobody thought we would last. Girls at school started isolating me as I became more infatuated by this older man. He was everything I could ever ask for.
Obstacles
Well first, there was the age difference. 8 years is a huge gap; especially when you are only 14. Everyone judged me - judged him. But have they got any right? You can't help who you fall in love with right?
To make things worse, he lived over 7 hours away from me. In the beginning, I thought this was just some fun. It was great to have an older guy, someone that tells you your special everyday. I realized it was something more serious when he would drive down to see me every weekend! These trips continued for months; every single weekend he would arrive at my house on Sunday at 3am. He worked Saturdays so he would leave straight after work and stay till Monday night. I couldn't believe that someone was going to such great lengths just to see me! I never thought/saw myself as something "special" but I guess I was to him.
No One But Him
We've been through so much, yet we've overcome it together. We've been through fights, rumors, infidelity (by me, not him), car accidents-- you name it, we've been through it. I'm just so overwhelmed by the fact that he has stood by my side through thick and thin. Yeah, there are times where I felt like maybe it was best to go our separate ways, but in my mind, I could never picture myself with anyone else but him. No matter how angry I was at him, even after I would storm out of our apartment, I knew that everything would be fine the next day.
4 Years Later
We've just celebrated our 4th year together last month. It's crazy that we're still here, together! I'm now 18, he's nearly 26. And our gorgeous Son, D, is nearly 17 months. We finally have our own little family; the only thing we need to complete this perfect picture is a wedding.
Now, people may think I'm stupid/crazy/desperate etc for wanting to get married at such a young age. When you think of a couple getting married, they're both normally in their late 20's. But this is something I want to do. I love this man so much; it's crazy how much you care and love for someone.
We've been planning this wedding for over 2 months now. The Big Day is on October 7th 2010. Everything is pretty much set; the dress, the suits, the bridesmaids, the groomsmen...
To all those people who wish to judge me and my decisions, go for it.
I'm happy where I am at this very moment, and I'm extremely happy with where my life is going. You can't judge a book by its cover. I'm going to break the stereotype about teen love. I'm going to show every girl out there that this love is possible and it does exist.
Is anyone else in a similar situation? How did you beat the odds? And for the majority of you that are normal teens, do you believe that this sort of love exists in your world?
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- From: teen_bride
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Comments (245)
a 23 year old man with a 14 year old little girl is disgusting.
sorry... not in my world but it's nice to hear
I don't think being a teenage bride is a bad thing. It is kind of creepy that you and your boyfriend were on opposite sides of the age of consent though (whether or not you were having sex). Obviously its your life and now you are old enough to make your own decisions so there is absolutely no reason for you to not get married if you want to and have the means to!
I'm sorry but it's hard to believe that a 22 year old MAN could be in a "relationship" with a 14 year old girl. First of all, in my opinion someone that young doesn't understand the concept of a relationship as it is, and the fact that someone who's well over 18 is attracted to a girl that's barely a teenager is disturbing... I have a daughter and I would have the guy locked up, where were your parents on this issue?
Don't you worry that once you aren't "young" anymore he won't find you as enticing and may find himself another teen bride?
Sorry, but I don't think a 14 year old should be dating anyone older than 17. Plus you had a child at 16, you never got to experience being a teenager.
I wouldn't want my 14 year old dating a 22 year old.
You're setting yourself up for criticism here but apparently you're ready for it.
Thank you, and do your thing. Wishing you the best!
What does it even mean to be a teenager? Get on xanga and talk about how disguisting everything is?
@mrslasko10@xanga - wow, aren't you a debbie downer? jumping to conclusions simply because the age difference-- you know, it's possible that the guy actually does love her, despite the age difference, not just because she's a young piece of ass. there's a reason why he's been around for four years. bitter much?
I thought this was going to be a post about a teen girl dating a teen boy and getting married to him, but I was wrong.
What do your parents think about the statutory rape that happened? He was obviously well over 18 when you had sex to produce your child.
"Beat the odds"? Marriage is an every day thing. It's not something that happens and then, oh, that's the end. It will be a constant struggle.
Love can exist at any age. But marriage is a completely different ballgame. It takes more than loving each other to keep a relationship like that.
But do keep your positive attitude; it will help. Best of luck to you.
Well good luck to you. I thought I was so sure of what I wanted in my future in high school, but I am glad that I waited because it seems like every year after high school was filled with change. I am glad that I had the opportunity to make changes to my life without worrying about what a husband or child would go through as a result.
I am sure that you know you are going to get a lot of negative criticism by posting this, but just keep in mind that it isn't about you anymore. It is about your child, no matter what.
It may suck for you when you reach that wonderful age of 21(and beyond that). You might realize that everyone else your age is having a good time, partying, dating and having relatively few responsibilites, while you are at home being June Cleaver.
This boyfriend has completely taken your teenage years away. There are so many things to come in life that you may never get to experience because of this guy. He never took that into consideration when he started to date you and then impregnated you. I'm sure you hear this all the time but because of him you will miss out on a lot of things in life.
Except, coming from another mom, I know how your child is a true blessing and that no matter what happens with this guy, your child has enriched your life in a wonderful way.
So, despite the age difference, I hope the best for you and your new family. I truly wish that he makes you happy for the rest of your life and that you two raise a happy, healthy child.
@AutumnShadowsQ@xanga - I couldn't agree more
I'm...just absolutely speechless. Yea, I know you can't help it because it's love, but if he was a responsible man, he wouldn't have let all this happen. I mean, this is totally illegal stuff. If this was a true, responsible and mature relationship between two people, you both could have waited. Sorry, but the law is the law. I'm not against dating within huge age gaps, I'm just against those that think they're too good for the law. And getting pregnant really shows how well you both handled being responsible with sex. Other than that, I'm glad things are working out for you and that you're happy. Happiness is all that really matters anyway.
i normally wouldn't support something like this, but 4 years? damn, congratulations to you. you both sound very mature and i hope everything works out.
Uhhhh, are all the well-wishers bad at math? She's 18 with a 17 month old, even if she's almost 19 that puts her under 17 years old when she got pregnant...unless that kid is the product of the aforementioned infidelity (and was with someone who was also under 18) that's what we call statutory rape.
Nevermind the parents, where are the police?!
Congrats :)
I'm happy that you're happy
I can't judge you on this because I don't know you as a person so that would make a difference to me. But what I CAN say is, you've got a good grasp on what you want and that's something not many kids your age have. And good for you for not caring about what others think about you-- I admire it. As well, you shouldn't let anyone tear you down about who you love. Love works in mysterious ways, so power to ya! : )
Honey, I'm so happy for you. You sound like you know what you're doing and you're confident with your decisions. That's all that matters. Push the negativity aside, and do what you want. I'm sure that you'll look beautiful on your wedding day. I wish you guys the best of luck. I love hearing stories like yours. I gives me a lot of hope for my own relationship. =]
@Archer - Agreed =)
Your parents let a 22 year old not only date their 14 year old daughter but spend the night with her?? I mean, you guys are of age, got a kid, whatever now and I do wish you the best...but I can't get past that. Where the fuck were the adults in that situation? Because obviously the 22 year old was not an adult. And I'm not going to say it won't work out, because relationships have started out of much worse situations, but really, I'm appalled that no adults stepped in. I'm glad it's working out and you're apparently safe/unharmed, but that is NOT the norm and there is something seriously wrong with a parent who would allow that without question.
pedophile
This is sick and sad. If you were my child I would have filed statutory rape charges against that man.
My SO is 8 years old then me. He never stole my teenage years away for me. I am 20 years old now and we've been dating for years. He'll do whatever I want to do which will include partying with me when I turn 21. That's just our relationship though. I really hope your's will do what you want as well because being in a relationship that will work is loving to do things together....I'm not sure if that made sense. hahaha
Everybody judged me too. They called me a slut and my friends said he was only after sex.He wasn't. We didn't have sex till years later when I was ready.
You had a kid with him though, which I do think is crazy...that is probably the reason why you may lose your teenage years.
Anyways, best of luck.
@TakingxOverxMe@xanga - That is exactly what I was wondering. That wasn't even legal.