There are many people who believe age is just a number. It is a topic that has been floating around recently (see
awesome pervy uncle post) and is something that has always been a part of my life.
In skipping two years of high school, I have always been around older men. It was really weird when I liked a guy who was younger than me for awhile. However, as a 18-20 year old, I have normally leaned to the guys who were 23-28.
Now that I'm all graduated and in the real world, I've noticed the men I am attracted to are closer to the 30-35 range.Last night was the strangest dating experience for me so far.
I am part of an online group where we meetup and do random things. Last night I hosted an event where we listened to the state symphony in the park for free. At first there was only one other person with me, and so we got to talking. Work, school, the online group, areas we live in, favorite food and colors were discussed, and I thought he was absolutely charming. Slowly people from another online group he was in joined us. I soon found out that this group was the single-parent group. *insert red flag here*
As he was talking to a 28-year old and her toddler, the subject of their children came up, and he disclosed that he had three kids to his ex-wife. Their ages? 12, 10, and 8. She laughed and said he must have started having kids when he was 11,
and he then said "Oh no, I'm 39."He the rest of the evening was spent playing with the toddler and reminiscing about his children.
Age is not a number. This man had a degree in computer science, joined the army and went to Iraq. He was injured over there and has major short term memory loss. He is going back to school to be a history teacher because he can't keep up with current technology. He has matured and become a wonderful father. He called me two hours after we left each other to make sure I made it home safely (*blissful sigh*).
This is all due to his experiences that his longer life has given him.When I was recounting my tales to my girlfriend about him and the other two guys I met that night, she kept saying he was her favorite. To her, age IS just a number. I can't help but think his kid is only 8 years younger than me, I'm 19 years younger than him.
Even though I feel I have had many experiences in my short life that have made me very mature, I realized there is no way I would be able to keep up with him.
What do you think? Have you ever met someone where age is too much of an obstacle? Is age just a number?
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Comments (64)
I often like older ladies for their maturity but sometimes it can be a little intimidating. But then I also like younger ladies because they look up to me to be the smart and mature person. I find it hard to connect with people my own age. Age is definitely not just a number there are always certain characteristics of someone of a certain age.
I can't stand little boys my age. They're always quite a few steps behind me in life. Currently my boyfriend is 24. I'm 19. That's the youngest boyfriend I've had. One of the younger guys I've dated as well. I don't date older men (29+), but I'm friends with them often. I enjoy having conversations with them, but they lack my youthful vitality and often become rather jaded over the years. I tend to be quite serious all the time, so I need my goof ball boyfriend to lighten me up a bit.
I also appreciate the uh, performance, I guess, of my 24 year old soccer playing boyfriend. Hehehe!
I remember in high school, I always thought huge age gaps were odd. My friends and I would scoff at the skanky freshmen girls who dated the senior boys. Ahhhh, but then life happened... I graduated from high school and I went to college. In college, ages all seem to just blur together. I forget that some of my classmates are much older than I am and some are a bit younger. I often don't even bother asking someone their age, because I just assume their age is somewhere around mine. Age doesn't seem to matter as much as maturity does, in my book (of course, I've met some extremely mature 18 year olds and some ridiculously immature 30 year olds).
I've found myself increasingly more attracted to older men as of late. The guy I'm currently quite interested in is 29 (making him 9 years older than I am). I've had crushes on guys even old than he (in their early to mid 30's mostly). I can only assume that I find their maturity and stability to be attractive... because that something rarely found in guys closer to my age.
I think there does come a point in which the age difference might be too much. I think a very rare set of people can have a very vast age difference and still be able to function well in a normal, healthy relationship.
I'm 20 and my boyfriend just turned 23. So there's a three ear difference between us, not that big. I think to a certain extent age is just a number, but that number for me ends around 5-10 years older than me.
those who think age is just a number seem remiss of the fact that with age comes experience - and that these experiences shape who we are and how we interact with others.
I got banned from my boyfriend because of a 3 year difference
It's messy when there are other people involved e.g. kids. Other than that, I still see age as just a number.
My friend's stepdad is only 15 years older than him, and it caused a lot of problems in their family. He doesn't know his real father, so his stepdad was the only father he had. It was hard for him to submit to someone only 15 years older.
I am 16, will be 17 in 20 something days. The guy I want is 20. I guess that's not as a big of a difference as 20 and 39, but he still gets a little ehh about it. I think 20 is okay and we'll be fine. Maybe this is totally different I don't know but yeah.
It shouldn't be a deterrent, but everyone has their preferences. I know for me I'd date a girl about 6 years older to about 3-4 years younger. To each man/woman his or her own right? Besides, there are plenty of 18-20 year olds with great maturity just like there's plenty of 25-27 year olds who act like children.
My boyfriend is two years older than me.
But age sometimes doesn't matter at all, it's all about the maturity.
In adult years, it's just a number. But if it can send people to jail then it's something to consider.
age is just a number, except....
Life experience is probably more important in a relationship. Where someone is at in terms of life stages, experience and maturity makes a huge difference, even if you are the same age. It can also negate almost any age difference as well. So I guess what I am saying is....
age is just a number.
I think that age is just a number. If you learn to understand an individual to the best of your capacity and still agree and love each other when complete, I see no reason to quench a romantic relationship.
I'm almost 20. My best friend is 67.
Again it depends on maturity...I can't stress that enough!
I always date guys that are older than me because of the maturity.
I'm usually more attracted to guys that are older. However, I don't think I could date someone that was more than 10 years older than me. I think that would be too much of a gap, especially for life experiences.
i don't think age is what makes a difference in relationships, rather the place where you each are in life. that's why, as i see it, a freshman in high school can't date a freshman in college, but a 25 year old can date a 29 year old no problem generally. if this guy's got kids, a settled life, ex wife, etc, and you're still finding your place in the real world after graduating college, your situations might be too far apart to be compatible. but sometimes things work out so what the hell. but i'm 20 (still in college though) and know i would not want to deal with an older guy with 3 kids, for a ton of reasons.
this is also loosely why i don't believe people should get married before they settle into their lives, but that's another topic.
I'm interested in a guy, but he's ten years older than me.. We seem to be at the same level with regards to maturity, but is ten years too much? 17-27.. I dunno... Advice anybody?
My boyfriends 20, 3 months younger than me, and getting hit on by 40 year old milfs because he has the maturity of a 35-40 year old man.
i could never date someone much older than me. it's very important for me to be on the same page with my SO in terms of life. i'd also never date someone who has kids or has been married. it's simply not something i'm willing to tolerate in my life.
I understand where you're going with this. But I digress...I always go for the older men. I don't like boys. I like MEN. Not all of them are messed up and not all of them are creepy.
i think sometimes people try to make it work when it really can't, and there is an unfortunate societal bias that encourages younger women to date older men, but discourages younger men to date older women. Which isn't to say love in the first situation can't exist, but you have to be wary of the fact that you are falling into a bit of a... societal expectation of what you should like.
I'm confused as to how you were hanging out with an online group and didn't realize it was for single parents, that seems to be something you'd know before hand, but anyways, I think while certain obstacles are not insurmountable, they require a lot of work and sometimes it makes less stress for everyone if you date someone who shares the same place in life that you do. It would suck if you want to wait 10 years to have kids and the person you're dating isn't willing to wait more than one, for instance. Can you compromise? Yes. But is constant compromise on major life decisions going to make both of you happy? Often no.
@xxrougexx3@xanga - if a 27 year old guy is at the same maturity level as a 17 year old, by gosh, run for the hills, woman! D:
I think that if an older person dates someone much younger than them (maybe 10 years or more) then they probably enjoy being the experienced one and being a lover/parent figure to their partner. I think that sometimes girls will think that older guys treat them with more respect, but in reality it is more the kind of respect that a father would give to his 20-something daughter.
I don't care what anyone says - you can be mature for your age, but you just can't pretend like you are older than you are. Maturity is a function of experiences and attitude. You can't have experiences without time.
That being said, I am with someone 5.5 years older than myself and I fully admit that we are at different stages in our lives, that I am less experienced, and that he seems to enjoy taking care of me and playing the parent role when it comes to finances and material things (like my car and my cabin). Oddly enough, I don't mind it either.
@ScarletMoth@xanga - Haha, I'm very mature for my age. He seems to be a little more mature than me, but he's right in the place where I am.. I dunno!