Being 24, I have the opportunity to remember the world of dating both before and after the era of cell phones, emails, social networking, and instant messaging. When I was 15, kids didn't have cell phones, and your snail-like dial-up internet connection was attached to your home phone line, so if you were checking your email, you could be missing a call.
I can remember sitting in the kitchen by the phone, no caller ID, no private line, just waiting for it to ring. Hoping it would be the boy I liked, the one who said he was going to call that evening. The waiting for the call, the chills I would get each time the the phone would ring, not knowing whose voice would be at the other end, was part of the exhilaration of dating. We'd have to make conversation, without the time and editing abilities of texting. It was real.
Now, if I want to talk to my boyfriend, I can still call him. But I can text him, too. Or get him on Blackberry Messenger. Maybe I'll see if he's signed on G-chat or AIM. Not there? No worries, I can check Facebook Chat. Send him a message there, or an e-mail.
But when did we all become so impatient?
Now, we have constant contact, constant words. But there was a time, even before phones, when all that lovers had to go on from their partners were letters, sitting by a fire and hanging on a loved one's every precious word.
Other than military SOs and spouses, none of us live in a world where we truly have to wait, where we have no control over when and how we hear from our loved ones; always wondering where they are, if they are safe, the kinds of challenges they'll encounter that day, month, year. Most of us probably cannot fathom the amount of strength and patience a relationship of that nature would take. Could we live without this control if it were taken from us again?
Some of you might know a band called Arcade Fire. On their new album, The Suburbs, there's an amazing song called "We Used to Wait." The song touches on the changing times, and the tragic loss of patience in waiting to hear from the ones we love. It seems in the song that a little of the romance was lost when the fast pace of new technologies took a choke hold on our relationships and squashed them into a streamlined, fast paced frenzy of consistent communication.
You can listen to the song, and the band's take on technology and love, below:
And as for me, like Arcade Fire, I hope that something pure can last. But what do you guys think?
When it comes to keeping in touch, is the romance gone? Is there something to be said for having to wait to hear from our loved ones?
Technology has made us impatient. With the advancement of Cable and fiberoptics, we can't stand to wait even 5 seconds without hearing from someone.
The song and band? They're okay. I've heard better..but I do remember those times, and I'm still quite young. LOL Though I remember handing out love letters and receiving them in junior high/high school though I think that tradition is long gone. But little kids still do it..
I don't I quite understand what you're trying to say with your questions but I will try. Romance is still very much alive, it's just easier to keep in contact with people nowadays and honestly, I quite like it. It doesn't make me more impatient. It really just depends on the person really. Some people may be spoiled by it but I don't take it for granted. =)
I definitely agree with you and have observed this myself. I even remember the time before I had texting on my cell phone and it was used only for phone calls...
I prefer to have the distance and time apart, makes the time together that much better. But most people view it as an avoidance or wanting to play around with other people...sigh heh.
I miss talking on a home phone with a cord that gets tangled as I talk to someone. then someone walks into the room and I want privacy, so I yank the phone cord, which isn't long enough, and now I'm holding the phone with resistance as I'm hiding behind the sofa like a giggly mouse as my lover talks to me I don't really get that type of feeling nowadays. it is more like we talk, then he tells me that he has another call and if I can hold on a minute or he is too busy to me talk for long taking people for granted is so much easier with fast and convenient technology.
I'm still waiting. Lovely post. :)
I started dating when I was 14 and it was right as cell phones were coming out, but I didn't have one and I would always wait for my boyfriend to call me on my landline because my sister and I shared a landline upstairs. It was always so exciting to wait for him to call and the butterflies I got. On another account, I'm glad technology has improved. I'm dating someone long distance and being able to keep in touch often is really nice. We can text all day or talk on the phone. It's nice knowing that although he can't physically be here for me that he's always there for me to talk to when I need it. Patience is, of course, not a virtue with me anymore so I would probably kick and scream if I had to wait till the end of the night to talk to him on the phone.
when my boyfriend was in bootcamp for two months we relied on letters we wrote to each other. we wrote every day but i only recieved his letters on thursdays. it was exciting and genuine and made our relationship even better :)
I hate how the element of surprise has gone out of the window. When I was younger when cell phones first came out, someone said before how there was still texting. But noone used it that much, people were still calling my house phone and showing up at my door randomly! I loved it! Now its 'you wanna hang out' 'ill text you when im leaving' 'im leaving, ill text you when i get there' 'im here'. It is niceeeee..but at the same time its like damn! Even facebook tells me that you at starbucks or wherever and now running people isnt as surprising, its planned or expected. Maybe if we were so available to people they wouldnt take our company for granted..
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SO true!
i have been saying for a while that technology has killed romance.
its great to be able to talk to you SO whenever you want, but i think more times that not it just causes trouble. when you can talk to them anytime of the day, no matter where they are, moments arent really cherished, you know?
i think text messaging is the worst.
I am currently OBSESSED with this song and, being 24 as well, I can totally relate to your thoughts. Nicely written also!
I am actually in the midst of writing a paper on this track for class, and just finished making notes on my initial reactions. If you are interested:
Notes on Theme, Music
-Blossoming of Technology (esp. social), alienation this causes
-A society in which we have exchanged deep gifts for immediate sensation
-The impossibility of reversal, futility of reminiscence
-Urgency ‘superceding’ aimlessness, oppressiveness of this ‘progression’
-The steady build-up of the string section mirrors the various forms of proliferation addressed in the lyrics: blossoming of technology, associated mounting feelings of alienation, (ironic) struggle to articulate the loss of communication, difficulty in describing the past as it is in the process of being paved over (obscured)
First Verse
-In the first stanza, our narrator reminisces about the satisfaction of personal communication, as he remembers it as a child
-By the time he has matured, this phenomenon has seemingly vanished (symbolic example: letters vs. email)
-He feels like his generation has been robbed of authentic means of communication, reflects on the resulting alienation
-Further still, when he attempts to disassociate himself from this social trend, he is lost ‘in the dark’ (ie. without technology, in this case electricity, he find he cannot navigate his surroundings.)
-Times have changed and he finds he cannot go back. Social technology is entrenched in our lives.
-For dramatic effect, our narrator uses ‘wilderness’, the natural that has been sacrificed, to symbolize the technology that has ‘blossomed’ in its place, esp in densely populated urban areas. The analog speaks to the irrepressible proliferation of technology as resembling the natural in its patterns of growth
First Chorus
-Our narrator feels that, with culture advancing so rapidly, it will soon cease to bear any resemblance to our ‘natural’ roots
-Change is not progression. We sacrifice emotional depth for immediacy. The capitalist system does not have the capacity for patience and thus profits off of our fickleness, laziness
Second Verse
-While our narrator distinctly remembers a time in which natural communication (in this case letters) was the norm, he cannot quite fathom a society that could handle (in retrospect) the unreliability and tediousness associated with this. This is strange.
-Furthermore, though he can recognize how essential this for of communication used to seem, he cannot articulate exactly why (This may be because a modern analog no longer exists). This is disturbing.
-He reflects on youthful aimlessness, erased by a relentless sense of urgency (read: pragmatist ideology).
-For him, this boundless need to be productive is (ironically) the true waste
Second Chorus
-Our narrator reminisces about the joy of uncertainty, human error/ imperfection that has been ‘overcome’
Third Verse
-Our narrator frames himself as a victim, crippled by this aforementioned shift
-He declares his intention to overcome this emotionally paralyzing environment (or at least its psychological effect on him) by ‘regressing’, if not by physically returning to more primitive forms of communication, then returning to an antiquated mentality (relating to patience and its difficult rewards)
-After being presented with a bleak scene, the listener is presented with a strikingly up-beat message
-The source of this optimism seems to be in grasping the willpower to control ones attitude/ rather than allowing his/her environment (culture) to determine it.
-The narrator suggests that, though many relate to the issue he is illustrating, most accept it by responding with cool apathy. This could be the heart of the problem.
-‘Gonna move through the pain’: Modern society teaches us to avoid pain (including that associated with hard work). We are trained to ignore difficult problems. The hard choice is to acknowledge, even embrace difficulty, uncertainty. There is treasure hidden beneath it.
Third Chorus
-In the final chorus, our narrator walks through the fire, reacting to the burn by screaming his convictions louder and louder.
soon i'll have to wait. my boyfriend will be at basic in texas.
Yesss... power to the mid 20's that actually appreciate unlike these stupid 15 year olds.
Right now my boyfriend is at basic. we've been friends for years, and it's been a great journey so far! untill this last week, we've only been able to write (since the beginning of june), but now sometines he has time for skype! we're still writing. it means so much more when you have to sit down, think about something, and set aside time just for the other person. i miss him tonz, but we're a lot closer even through the distance, and for that i give credit to God, and letters. :)
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About Me: I'm a 24 year old serial monogamist who oddly thinks she knows everything while continuing to have tons of questions about that crazy little thing called love.
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Comments (16)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGr1lQAREB0&feature=channel
Technology has made us impatient. With the advancement of Cable and fiberoptics, we can't stand to wait even 5 seconds without hearing from someone.
The song and band? They're okay. I've heard better..but I do remember those times, and I'm still quite young. LOL Though I remember handing out love letters and receiving them in junior high/high school though I think that tradition is long gone. But little kids still do it..
I don't I quite understand what you're trying to say with your questions but I will try. Romance is still very much alive, it's just easier to keep in contact with people nowadays and honestly, I quite like it. It doesn't make me more impatient. It really just depends on the person really. Some people may be spoiled by it but I don't take it for granted. =)
I definitely agree with you and have observed this myself. I even remember the time before I had texting on my cell phone and it was used only for phone calls...
I prefer to have the distance and time apart, makes the time together that much better. But most people view it as an avoidance or wanting to play around with other people...sigh heh.
I miss talking on a home phone with a cord that gets tangled as I talk to someone. then someone walks into the room and I want privacy, so I yank the phone cord, which isn't long enough, and now I'm holding the phone with resistance as I'm hiding behind the sofa like a giggly mouse as my lover talks to me
I don't really get that type of feeling nowadays. it is more like we talk, then he tells me that he has another call and if I can hold on a minute or he is too busy to me talk for long
taking people for granted is so much easier with fast and convenient technology.
I'm still waiting. Lovely post. :)
I started dating when I was 14 and it was right as cell phones were coming out, but I didn't have one and I would always wait for my boyfriend to call me on my landline because my sister and I shared a landline upstairs. It was always so exciting to wait for him to call and the butterflies I got. On another account, I'm glad technology has improved. I'm dating someone long distance and being able to keep in touch often is really nice. We can text all day or talk on the phone. It's nice knowing that although he can't physically be here for me that he's always there for me to talk to when I need it. Patience is, of course, not a virtue with me anymore so I would probably kick and scream if I had to wait till the end of the night to talk to him on the phone.
when my boyfriend was in bootcamp for two months we relied on letters we wrote to each other. we wrote every day but i only recieved his letters on thursdays. it was exciting and genuine and made our relationship even better :)
I hate how the element of surprise has gone out of the window. When I was younger when cell phones first came out, someone said before how there was still texting. But noone used it that much, people were still calling my house phone and showing up at my door randomly! I loved it! Now its 'you wanna hang out' 'ill text you when im leaving' 'im leaving, ill text you when i get there' 'im here'. It is niceeeee..but at the same time its like damn! Even facebook tells me that you at starbucks or wherever and now running people isnt as surprising, its planned or expected. Maybe if we were so available to people they wouldnt take our company for granted..
Good news: this website (http://www.clothes6.org) we has been updated and add products and many things they abandoned their increases are welcome to visit our website. Accept cash or credit card payments, free transport. You can try oh, will make you satisfied.
SO true!
i have been saying for a while that technology has killed romance.
its great to be able to talk to you SO whenever you want, but i think more times that not it just causes trouble. when you can talk to them anytime of the day, no matter where they are, moments arent really cherished, you know?
i think text messaging is the worst.
I am currently OBSESSED with this song and, being 24 as well, I can totally relate to your thoughts. Nicely written also!
I am actually in the midst of writing a paper on this track for class, and just finished making notes on my initial reactions. If you are interested:
Notes
on Theme, Music
-Blossoming
of Technology (esp. social), alienation this causes
-A
society in which we have exchanged deep gifts for immediate sensation
-The
impossibility of reversal, futility of reminiscence
-Urgency
‘superceding’ aimlessness, oppressiveness of this ‘progression’
-The
steady build-up of the string section mirrors the various forms of
proliferation addressed in the lyrics: blossoming of technology, associated
mounting feelings of alienation, (ironic) struggle to articulate the loss of
communication, difficulty in describing the past as it is in the process of
being paved over (obscured)
First
Verse
-In the
first stanza, our narrator reminisces about the satisfaction of personal communication,
as he remembers it as a child
-By the
time he has matured, this phenomenon has seemingly vanished (symbolic example:
letters vs. email)
-He
feels like his generation has been robbed of authentic means of communication,
reflects on the resulting alienation
-Further
still, when he attempts to disassociate himself from this social trend, he is
lost ‘in the dark’ (ie. without technology, in this case electricity, he find
he cannot navigate his surroundings.)
-Times
have changed and he finds he cannot go back. Social technology is entrenched in
our lives.
-For
dramatic effect, our narrator uses ‘wilderness’, the natural that has been
sacrificed, to symbolize the technology that has ‘blossomed’ in its place, esp
in densely populated urban areas. The analog speaks to the irrepressible
proliferation of technology as resembling the natural in its patterns of growth
First
Chorus
-Our
narrator feels that, with culture advancing so rapidly, it will soon cease to
bear any resemblance to our ‘natural’ roots
-Change
is not progression. We sacrifice emotional depth for immediacy. The capitalist
system does not have the capacity for patience and thus profits off of our
fickleness, laziness
Second
Verse
-While
our narrator distinctly remembers a time in which natural communication (in
this case letters) was the norm, he cannot quite fathom a society that could
handle (in retrospect) the unreliability and tediousness associated with this.
This is strange.
-Furthermore,
though he can recognize how essential this for of communication used to seem,
he cannot articulate exactly why (This may be because a modern analog no longer
exists). This is disturbing.
-He
reflects on youthful aimlessness, erased by a relentless sense of urgency
(read: pragmatist ideology).
-For
him, this boundless need to be productive is (ironically) the true waste
Second
Chorus
-Our
narrator reminisces about the joy of uncertainty, human error/ imperfection
that has been ‘overcome’
Third
Verse
-Our
narrator frames himself as a victim, crippled by this aforementioned shift
-He
declares his intention to overcome this emotionally paralyzing environment (or
at least its psychological effect on him) by ‘regressing’, if not by physically
returning to more primitive forms of communication, then returning to an
antiquated mentality (relating to patience and its difficult rewards)
-After
being presented with a bleak scene, the listener is presented with a strikingly
up-beat message
-The
source of this optimism seems to be in grasping the willpower to control ones
attitude/ rather than allowing his/her environment (culture) to determine it.
-The narrator
suggests that, though many relate to the issue he is illustrating, most accept
it by responding with cool apathy. This could be the heart of the problem.
-‘Gonna
move through the pain’: Modern society teaches us to avoid pain (including that
associated with hard work). We are trained to ignore difficult problems. The
hard choice is to acknowledge, even embrace difficulty, uncertainty. There is
treasure hidden beneath it.
Third
Chorus
-In the
final chorus, our narrator walks through the fire, reacting to the burn by
screaming his convictions louder and louder.
soon i'll have to wait. my boyfriend will be at basic in texas.
Yesss... power to the mid 20's that actually appreciate unlike these stupid 15 year olds.
Right now my boyfriend is at basic. we've been friends for years, and it's been a great journey so far! untill this last week, we've only been able to write (since the beginning of june), but now sometines he has time for skype! we're still writing. it means so much more when you have to sit down, think about something, and set aside time just for the other person. i miss him tonz, but we're a lot closer even through the distance, and for that i give credit to God, and letters. :)
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