Tuesday, 31 August 2010
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On Again Off Again Flirting? Fail.
I like flirting. I like it so much that I am petitioning that it becomes an Olympic event. Flirting is fun, but it has a serious element, because even if we don't mean it too seriously, we are messing with someone's heart.
The retired school teacher turned bagger at the grocery store flirts with me. He doesn't mean anything by it and it's totally cute, not creepy, and he does it every time I shop there. I enjoy interacting with him, it's a pleasant exchange. I always smile and blush when unbelievably hot barrista dude makes my latte for me...he notices, but is cool about it.
But I HATE people who play "ding dong ditch" when it comes to flirting. Like, they flirt this week, but then-- total indifference for three weeks. Then suddenly they are all playful, wink, wink again. I mean, what is their game? I get all happy fluttery inside because, hey, someone noticed, someone's putting a little energy out my way. The next time I see them, I'm ready to shimmer back, and they are like a dead fish.
OK, I adjust, shrug, move on...and then there they are back again, joking, putting a hand on my arm, raising an eyebrow at me. The last thing I need or want is a bizarrely moody partner, someone who's feelings run hot and cold from day to day. I mean, if I am interesting on days 2, 9, and 12, why did you ignore me, or worse yet look at me like I was a stranger when I said hi, on all the days in between?
I think some men think they are being mysterious and interesting when they do this, like a keep her guessing sort of thing. But the only thing I am guessing about them is which medication they are on and why they forgot to take it, or which OTHER woman are they trying to impress by flirting with me. I don't date guys who do the on/off thing, because they get hooked on their little game and are the same way once the dating starts.
If you like me, you like me. If you don't...let's both go our own ways.
As soon as flirting becomes teasing, I am totally turned off.
How do you feel about on again off again flirters?
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- From: ccccourage@xanga
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Comments (16)
They're ridiculous! It gets so confusing and yes, on/off again flirting really does mess with your heart. I was recently in a terrible "almost relationship" for six months and it was the worst time of my life. I thought I was going insane. Please, ladies (and gentlemen!), if you are interested in someone who does this, it's not worth it, no matter how much you like the person.
I know exactly how you feel. Worse it's been going on for about 2 years. It's really frustrating. I think if you flirt with anyone, you have to make sure your intentions are clear. If it's just harmless flirting, keep it that way. If you're not really interested, don't flirt. The worst thing is having one person think they're getting somewhere and the other thinking that they're not interested.
UGH!!!! I hate that! sigh.
This is yet another sign of girls overthinking everything. We do it too often ladies! Sometimes harmless, casual flirting is just that: harmless and casual. Why must it always have to lead to something more for us to be satisfied?
I know this girl that does that ALL THE TIME!!!! Drives me crazy!!!! Ugh. At first I thought I was just crazy. But I've finally just given up on it lol.
I'm like that. Sometimes I'm in a playful mood other times I just want to be chill? If I actually liked you, I'd be more aggressive about it. But like you said, sometimes flirting is just fun.
I've been accused of doing this before, but it was only because of the on again/off again interest I was given in regards to my flirting.
people you flirt on and off with aren't real 'potentials', they're just your 'flirting people'. you flirt with each other cause its fun but there's not much there besides a couple of smiles and some teasing.
It's annoying. I don't date anyone like this. I need to know if the intentions are clear or not or otherwise I can't play games like that.
If they're off to me, then I get turned off by them and move on.
actually I think it is fun. men, who refuse or don't know how or don't like to tease, are totally boring. I like feisty attitudes that are like mine. if he ignores me for weeks, then that'll make me lose interest. I'm not looking for anything serious so it doesn't bother me. it depends on your intentions.
I know right.
Or sometimes I play them back for a taste of their own medicine
@jenigrins@xanga - Same here. Depends on my mood. But if I really really like the guy, I won't be indifferent ever lol
I went through the same thing my first semester of college. At that point of my life, I was already really desperate for some male attention and a relationship and all that. There's a guy on the drum line, he's still there, that I set my sights on. But only AFTER he started flirting with me. When I got ready to return the ball, I suddenly realized that there was no one on the other side anymore. He ignored me for a few weeks. Then one day he talks to me again. And then another couple weeks. And then one day he RANDOMLY CALLED ME, and as soon as I saw him after that call, he ignored me. JERK. Luckily, he gave it up and started talking to another girl in the band, whom he's now dating. If he weren't dating someone else I'm sure he would still be playing this game.
I hate it. It's like, make it more obvious that you're busy playing the field.
I actually googled the term "on again, off again flirting" to see if it existed in some other woman's life other than my own. There's this very young man I work with and he seems to be doing this after a period of flirting and teasing. We had a heart-to-heart talk one night about how we like each other and like talking/texting with each other and yet have just gotten out of very serious relationships and why he doesn't date his co-workers (due to the v.s.r. being with one) so despite mutual attraction, there's to be no dating until he gets his act together and is ready for it and I'm no longer working at this particular place. He gave me two hugs and went to be "there" for his drugged-up-and-shipping-out-the-next-day friend. I don't know if his push-pull actions are because he found out I like him from another co-worker before I confirmed it and he's got the power and/or if it's because it's what he does: be a pretty boy who milks his sexiness and builds mysteries. He abruptly disappears from texting when he and I text each other. He has opened up to me about his frustration with his job and school situations; I have responded with caring and sympathy/empathy. Part of me wants to retreat and not go out with other co-workers since he doesn't seem to want to join us if I'm going to be there and part of me wants to be in the same space as he is. Last night, we texted and I asked him if I could get a ride to a birthday event. I added that if he wasn't able to, I could ask another co-worker and mutual friend or my usual ride. I then added that I got a ride and that I'd see him at the event. No text response to any of my texts. I don't know if I want to go since I'm unsure of how to act around him if he goes: cool/cold or chill. I'm confused and upset. I assured him I wouldn't touch him the night we talked and I didn't. Is he actually wary of me, instead? I have been and continue to be hurt by the actions and attitude of the man that I was in the very serious relationship with. What should I do?