Monday, 30 August 2010
-
Honey, Does This Make Me Look Fat?
Alright, girls. We've all done it. Our date or SO is sitting in the living room, "patiently" waiting to take us out for the night. We finish getting dressed, obsess in the mirror for 20 minutes, and finally emerge with the dating world's most dangerous question: "Does this make me look fat?"
Of course, we know that the boy who has been tapping his foot and checking his watch for the past hour is not going to tell us to change outfits. We know he's going to feed us lines.
"Babe, you always look skinny."
"You're beautiful in everything you wear."
And, the classic, "No, you're perfect, it's fine, let's get the (expletive) out of here please?!"But here's the real question: if he were to tell us the truth, could we handle it?
My approach with girlfriends on shopping trips has always been to be as truthful as possible. When my friend comes up to me with neon colored jeans on that barely cover her buttcrack, I'm not playing the politeness card, I'm telling her the truth to save her the money and the embarrassment. I am not her friend if I let her out in public dressed like that. And I'm relieved when my girlfriends tell me an outfit doesn't look so hot on me before I leave the house.
So why is it such an upsetting idea that a guy should tell us that the outfit we are planning on wearing for the night is unflattering?
The answer seems simple: we're not trying physically attract our friends to us, but we want our SO or date to be attracted to us. At our core, whether we want to admit it our not, we want the people we are romantically involved with to find us attractive, and it seems normal that we'd want to seek their approval. But that said, isn't that all the more reason to want and expect an honest, unsugary answer to this question?
What do you girls think? When it comes to questions of weight and beauty, can we handle the truth? And guys, have you ever been completely honest when asked this question?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: KerrSull
- About Me: I'm a 24 year old serial monogamist who oddly thinks she knows everything while continuing to have tons of questions about that crazy little thing called love.
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 70 Views: 0 181131 Comments: 0 2317 View all posts by KerrSull
Comments (53)
I'm not sure..lol. I never really ask my fiance this. I will sometimes complain about how I look if I'm having a 'fat day' but he'll just tell me the opposite..Say I'm beautiful/sexy..and tell me I'm crazy for thinking otherwise. I don't ask what he thinks though, usually. I don't think he would give me negative comments anyway. He's just not like that.
No. You want your dick sucked? LIE.
If he doesn't say "wow" when he sees me, I'll do something about it! (':
I rarely ask my boyfriend if certain things make me look fat. Because he is a very honest person no matter what and there are just some days where I can't take it. More often I have people ask me that question in the sense that they value my opinion on what looks good or bad on their body. Shit, even my boyfriend comes to me for clothing advice, lol. And like him, I am very honest. I try not to be a complete bitch about it because these are people I care about but I tell them what doesn't look good on them as well as what does.
my boyfriend and I had this very discussion last night!!!! I tend to ask him if something looks ok on me a lot, and I expect an honest answer. I made it clear to him that I KNOW every article of clothing isn't going to look flattering on me, and I want to look good for him, so he should be the ultimate judge. I know I have flaws and I can handle the burn of "maybe that's not the best outfit for you" as long as I know I'll look good in something else!
@SodomyClown@xanga - Lol. I like this response.
I have not and will never ask my significant other the, "Does this makes me look fat," question. I wear whatever makes me feel and look good. If I have to ask such a question then no, I'm not wearing whatever it is. It's great to look good for my significant other but it's me that I like to impress first of all.
Can I handle the truth? You bet!
I've never asked an SO if I look fat in something, and I never will because I'm not lame enough to go off of his opinion!
Eh, I ask my husband's opinion on new clothes sometimes, like if I buy something (or trade clothes with my sister!) and it's not something I usually wear. I know I'm decent looking, and I know I'm skinny (medically underweight, in fact), and I know my husband thinks the same thing - but he'll also tell me what he likes and what flatters me or doesn't, and sometimes I want to wear something he likes. Other times I don't care - if I like it, I'll wear it anyway, and he won't actually care. I can handle the truth, otherwise I wouldn't ask for it. Of course, when I'm feeling insecure or whatever, I'll just say, Hey, I'm feeling insecure today, so give me compliments! Haha. And of course, he obliges :)
I usually don't really bother asking for opinions regarding what others think. I mean, I see what I see, and it's going to be different than what others think. As long as I'm comfortable, it'll be fine.
Agree that we all want to attract people we're interested in...I sort of leave it to, "well, he knows what I look like, good enough." XD
i hate people who ask this question, and i answer with brutal honesty.
"no, your fat makes you look fat."
i don't get asked again.
My husband has always been pretty honest about how I look. It's really comforting, actually, because I know he'll tell me if I ever start to pack on the pounds!
@SodomyClown@xanga - hahaahaha YES!
whats that insurance commercial where miss lincoln asks abe that same question?
The picture looks creepy - she looks so young and he looks pedophile-ish.
I've never had to ask this question because I can answer it myself when I purchase clothing. Therefore; I don't own anything that would make me beg that question.
If someone asks that question I will answer it. But I won't give a yes or no. The clothing doesn't make them fat; it may accentuate an area. Example: "It doesn't hit your waist quite right." "The tapering at the knees make your legs appear wider." "The fabric is too clingy."
Those are the answers I would give. Not, "Yes, you look fat."
My bf "doesnt notice". Meaning I told him the other day that someone told me I lost weight and I asked him if I did, and he said "I don't know I don't notice things like that". He actually tries to make me eat because Ive told him stories about how I had eating problems. It wasn't that bad but there were many periods that I would either overdose on pills (diet pills or laxatives or colon cleansers) or stick a toothbrush down my throat (that didn't last long, I didn't like the feeling) or restrict (I couldn't restrict too much b/c I was living w/ my parents). As soon as he notices I haven't been eating a lot, he makes me eat.
My bf things I look fine or pretty. It's only me that obsess with looking "skinny" or whatnot. I think it's the women that obsess with that really. Men could care less though.I think my bf sees a inner beauty in me..
@kinamorata@xanga - Now that you mention it..it does look like that lol
I am always very blunt when it comes to these questions. Girls may hate it when I give the answers to their questions about this or other things, but in the end they come back to thank me, even though they usually end up angry with me at first.
no that doesn't make you look fat... your fat ass makes you fat.
haha some good posts here today, i'll normally give her the truth but HEAVILY sugercoat it. And when I ask a women how I look (which is rare but if your going to a funeral.....) then I want a hardcore, no-holes-bared, brutally honest answer
I don't ask "does this make me look fat?". I ask "does this look okay?". He can either say yes or no and be done with it. I ask because I want his opinion, and if something doesn't look good on me, then I want to know. It doesn't necessarily mean I look fat. Maybe the color is no good or I'm too short for the item or something.
Wow. What an original post!
...Well, if this was Bizarro world, it would be.
Uhh if you cannot dress yourself appropriately then you shouldn't have a boyfriend
I never asked that question before because I'm skinny and conceited, have good judgement, so I already know I look good
all I do is prance out with my outfit and he looks at me with elevator eyes and then freezes with this: 
and that reaction is what I wanted
I don't trust the fashion judgement of men anyway so that's why I don't ask men
I make it a point never to ask that question unless I want a truthful answer. And most of the time, I don't want an answer, so I don't ask. Generally speaking, I know what fits my body and what doesn't. If I really want to know, I'll ask, but I'm usually pretty okay with judging clothing on my own.
The only time I've asked him how I looked and not been prepared for an honest opinion was when I had to wear a rather unflattering bridesmaid dress. I asked, he gave me an honest opinion, and it hurt. I learned my lesson and haven't done it since.
I just don't think it's fair to put a guy in that kind of spot. There's no right way to answer. If you do look fat, they can't tell you that without you getting mad (usually)...but if they lie, then you get mad at them for lying (because, face it, you know when something looks good and when it doesn't.) Bottom line, form your own opinion and don't put your guy in that position. It's not fair to him, and you'll only get upset when you're not interested in the truth...but get it anyway.
-Katie
i don't ever ask that question to my SO ever unless i'm second guessing my outfit.