Saturday, 28 August 2010

• 6 Dates for Zero Dollars

  
  You know what I would love to do right now? Go bowling. Or mini golfing. Or anything with an “ing.” But alas, since I’m not some sort of Wall Street stock broker (or whatever the crap they do on Wall Street… I’m not going to pretend I know a damn thing about the economy), I’m left to doing things like the following:
  Yesterday (during a particularly stubborn, extraordinarily boring day) I:
  
  1)    Ate almost an entire watermelon
  2)    Watched four episodes of Project Runway
  3)    Knitted. Yes, knitted.
  4)    Made a Scott Pilgrim Avatar (on this sweet site)
  5)    Ate the rest of the watermelon
  
  Once I heaved myself up from the spot on my bed where I had performed all of those things without getting up (luckily, there was a watermelon on my nightstand), I realized that I was in a stupid, broke, rut.
  
  So I wrote myself a note:
  
  Dear Sally,
  You just ate a whole watermelon. Really? You’re really going to sit around and become part woman, part large pink fruit? You feel like bursting in through unsuspecting children’s walls and yelling “OOHHH YEAHH!”? Because that’s what’s going to happen if your body absorbs any more juice.
  You need to get out and do something fun. Not everything fun is expensive.
  Thanks.
  Love,
  You.
  P.s. You’re lookin’ fine today.
  
  So I did just that! I called up my man friend, and we came up with some great ideas for dates that cost zero money (or close enough to zero that our dirty hippie selves can tolerate it).
  
  1) Play volleyball (or whatever-ball) in the park
  Wherever you live right now, chances are almost certain that within a reasonable distance, there’s a park. Now, take caution that chances are also that this park rapidly changes from being “Excellent barbeque and wholesome fun family time” to “sin-ridden drug-fueled satanic orgy” immediately after the sun goes down. So if you feel like makin’ this date, make it a day one. If you’ve got a volleyball, or any type of ball for another sport, go out and play with your loved one! It’s the most fun, especially if you’re not that good at it—it’s always fun to laugh and romp around and be silly, even if no one is skilled. I played volleyball for years, so I spent the afternoon teaching my lovely man some tips. It was a great way to bond. Also I got to see him look like an absolute spaz, which is fantastic.
  
  2) Go to a thrift store
  Remember that pre-school teacher that you once had who wore all those loud nineties colors and sequins that assaulted your youthful retinas? Well she apparently gave all of her clothes to your local thrift store. Now, I’m not talkin’ thrift store like those trendy, upper-end ones that sell super cute clothes (that all cost more money than it would to install a waterslide in your office as an escape route)—I’m talkin’ about those giant, value village ones that old ladies take their own shopping carts to. And let me tell you: there’s nothing more fun than rifling through the amazing amounts of crap they have at those places. Usually they’re not too strict or crowded, so you and your darlin’ can try on clothes and laugh for hours. And if something is reasonably cheap and cool enough, you might even emerge with a sweet find. I may or may not have just bought pink fuzzy adult footie pajamas. I may or may not currently be wearing them.
  
  3) Bake cookies
  Yeah, sure, ingredients and groceries cost money, but if you happen to have the baking essentials (flour, sugar, baking powder, brown sugar and so on) lying around, invite your SO over and bake some cookies! It’s always fun to create something together, and it’s even better if you can create something that’ll make a party in your mouth. Even better: totally screw up the recipe and amuse yourself by how poorly you’ve done. Once I made cupcakes with powdered sugar instead of flour. Pro tip: this doesn’t work.
  
  4) Take a Walk
  Contrary to popular belief, taking walks is not super lame. It’s awesome. And as the summer dwindles down, the weather’s getting a lot nicer, so there’s no excuse not to take your partner out, stretch your legs, and have a lovely, free afternoon of people-watching and hand-holding. If you’ve got some food to get rid of at home, you could even pack a picnic!
  
  5) Go to an Outdoor Movie
  In a lot of places that I have lived (Baltimore, New York, to name a few) there are free outdoor movies in the summer. Look that shit up on the interwebs! You're bound to find some sweet drive-in venue where you can watch Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade for zero cash moneys. Oh and p.s., make sure to cover your ass in Deet before you go. Mosquitos are pretty obsessed with every post-daylight outdoor event ever.
  
  6) Go to a Museum
  Almost every museum ever has free days. I know the SAM in Seattle is free on Thursdays, so is the American Visionary Arts Museum in Baltimore, and so is the MoMA in New York (except that's on Fridays). And museums are always a great time, especially if they have crazy modern art exhibits. There's nothing more fun than pointing and snickering at the stuffed fox tied to a boogie board entitled "Freedom" or some pretentious Latin phrase like "Rex secundum Vulpus."
  
  So go out and have some fun for free!
  Any of you have awesome, frugal date ideas? I’d certainly welcome them too!
  

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